Where is my Mom???

[Miami Janet]

Hi Everyone,

Im just wondering about everyone elses experiences...I thought I would feel my Mom around me..we were so close. But it feels like she disappeared??I really dont feel anything except a big hole in my heart???What do you guys think??? Janet

[shirleyb]

Janet,

Right now it seems there is a hugh void in your life. In time you will "see" your mom. I know for me, as I grow older, my mothers hands are my hands, I tell things to my kids that my mother told to me. I find myself being more like my mother is some respects. That is how I know my mom is still around. I think of her often and just look at my hands to remember how her hands looked. I know she is with me.

The same is true of my husband. The kids will say or do things that are totally their fathers way. Either how they say something or their body language. I look in their eyes and I see their father. He is still with us also. Just in a different form.

Our loved ones live on in our hearts. They always will be there.

Wishing you peace.

Shirleyb

[Ann]

Janet, like Shirley said, the void in your life is still very fresh and you are still in various stages of grieving. Some people think that our loved ones appearance to us will be very obvious to us. That is sometimes true. But, Janet, your mom IS with you. She lives in your heart. You're a part of her and she's now a part of you. When I lost my mom, I could feel her in my heart. Give yourself time to realize what has happened. Every time you think of your mom, she will be alive. Think and talk about good times and relive all of those wonderful memories you have of time together. I know that, given time, you will know that your mom is right there with you!

[MilliBr1]

Janet, I don't have any words, but I understand how you are feeling.

[flwrjunke]

Dear Janet,

I too have that big hole in my heart and it sucks! I do belive that my Mom will always live on in my head and in my heart. But as it's all so fresh, it seems hard to belive that will ever be enough.

Prayers to you and your family.

Patty

[Lauriannessister]

My sister died on 10/22/05, and I still feel the void of her passing. But I also notice little things around me that remind me she is still here. They are very subtle, but they are there. Sometimes it is a song that reminds me of my sister, sometimes it will just be something someone says.

Most of all, I just have to look at my little nephew and I know that he is her greatest gift to us.

[mirrell]

i didn't "feel" my dad around up until the last 6 months. it has been over 3 years for me now. at first, all i had were dreams about him being sick and tearful memories. in the last 6 months, i have had dreams where he is better, dreams that he is telling me something and some miscellaneous feelings, that even my husband has confirmed, that he is around. be patient. you too katie. i like to think that my mom is finally feeling a little better, and that now he has some extra time to take care of me. mirrell

[J.C.]

I always feel that at their journey end,

those we lost are looking for the best place

from where to keep an eye on us and that is

the time we look for them, they are there

just getting settle to help us.

The feeling will be there that somebody is looking

over your shoulder and helping you, just wait

for it and welcome it.

Hugs

J.C.

[lilyjohn]

I agree with the others. There are just so many things that will remind you of her. When that happens she is with you. You are a part of her and she is a part of you. Death can not change that.

As far as the signs go I believe that those come when we are at rock bottom. They will let us know that they are with us but they also want us to be able to stand without them. When they think that we are ready they send us little signs. Like Ann said we don't always recognize them or just brush them off as our imagination. The bigger things like dreams that are not regular dreams will come, it just takes time. It has to be the right time and we are not always able to know when that time is but they do and God does.

Just be patient. Your mom loves you and she is there in time you will feel her more and more. Right now the pain you are feeling is so strong that it doesn't allow you to feel anything else. I hope that soon you will feel her around you. In the mean time talk to her. Tell her how much you miss her and how much you would like to have a sign from her during the holidays. Then just wait with an open mind and open heart.

[Treebywater]

Despite the dream I had last week, I've felt that a lot too and am still feeling it. Sometimes my brain just screams, "Mom!!! Where are you????" For me, I felt such peace right after she died just knowing her pain was over... I said then I could feel her smiling and laughing and it made me want to do the same.

Then some time went by and smiling and laughing was the last thing on my mind--and I went... Mom... Where did you go???

What I thought was... she couldn't just hover around me or Dad or anyone else... She had to go get onto her new business. I kind of smiled at the thought of a 'heavenly orientation.'

I don't know where they are... but I have to believe that somehow they are still with us. In the same way that my husband and I always believe we're together, even when he's on the other side of the world... Someway our Mom's still have to be with us... even though we can't see them, or hear them, or even feel them most of the time.

I just don't think that even death can sever the love that binds Mom's and daughters and families in general together.

Just thoughts that rambled out.

((((Janet))))