Linda661 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 If I am following this thread right, you might be considering the need for a skilled nursing facility in your situation. I have had to do two placements in them with my parents on an emergency basis -- not fun either, but it can be done if your situation requires it on a temporary basis. I want my mom home too, but skilled nursing facilities don't have to be a horrible thing. First of all, if you have to do it, tour all facilities in your area. Expect each tour to take 1 to 1.5 hours. Critical criteria to consider are: #1: atmosphere: how do you find the general atmosphere of the facility and the patients you see during the tour in meeting the general well-being of your parent? You'll know....I actually hyperventilated in a couple of them....that's a definite NO no matter how good they may be in any other area! #2: interview the staff there: what's the average stay of staff at the facility, do they even look happy (tells alot about the care given there)? How do they act towards you? Seem helpful? The staff of the one my dad was at has actually been helping me with issues around the one my mom is currently at! (mom had first chosen to go to the same place, but just couldn't do it on discharge day....too many fresh memories of dad passing there......she just needed to make her journey different than his: perfectly understandable). #3: there are ratings available on the functioning of these places.....I checked at the Medicare website as my needs were for Medicare approved facilities. Did those that passed my first test, meet performance standards of Medicare (that includes staff to patient ratios, quality of life issues, etc. etc.) #4: assess location to where you need to go to access your care -- doctors, cancer center, etc. Include proximity to home as well. I might even make this an equal #3. #5: get a clear understanding of their rates, what they will and won't do for you -- this varies across facilities where I am at. Ask them what your insurance will and won't cover.....this area has been a wake-up call to me recently. Ask what you can and cannot do to help with expense reductions. Nursing facilities seem to have a stigma with my doctors as well for some reason. Using them has not reduced my advocacy workload either: if anything, my need to be sure that everyone is on the "same page" with my mom's care is worse! Is worth it for the moment, though and mom feels safer there too until we get a better handle on what we are up against when she comes home. Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 (((((Lori))))) You are so amazing, lady. I'm sorry you are having to deal with all of this. Hang in there, and know that we're pulling for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted January 30, 2006 Share Posted January 30, 2006 Lori, I've been thinking of you, how did your search for a good skilled nursing facility go? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Thanks for asking Millie. We found one that has new and very nice facilities. http://www.carespring.com/villaspring/ They have an on-site therapy program and mom would be in a short term rehab wing of the facility. Mom has a blood clot as of today's doppler (her leg is grossly swollen again), so no therapy for a few days. She commented that she has to get out of bed ASAP to get back to therapy bc she is soooo ready to go home. I could not even look her in th eye after that comment. We have to talk to her soon. This is killing me. I told SF that we need to tell her everything about her health before any decisions are made bc she is still very able to make decisions. He does not want to tell her about her other 2 tumors that the neurosurgeon found during surgery, but I do want to tell her bc she may choose to quit. She may choose to fight. It is up to her and I will support her either way. SF is just hopeful that she can still get better. So, yes we found a very nice place that their insurance will cover and there is a short-term rehab wing, so that is good. I just never thought in a million years we would have to look at this option. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 ((((Lori))))) I'm glad you found a place that looks acceptable. Praying for you!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Glad you were able to find a nice place. Prayers for your mom and for you and SF, these are all such hard decisions. I know my mom wanted to go home, but she did seem to understand when we explained she needed more help than we could give her. I understand your SF fears, but I agree with you. My I wish my mom had been able to make her own decisions it would have made all of us feel better about everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Lori, I am so happy that you found a nice place for your mom. It looks very clean and comfortable. Maybe she'll make some nice friends there. It sounds like she is getting stronger every day. Did the nuerosurgeon say they could remove the 2 tumors surgically. What about RFA or Stereotactic. Your mom wants to fight this and get well. She is a survivor and a fighter. I have so much admiration for her and you. You are an awsome daughter. Keep up the hard work, but take care of yourself too. Please keep us posted on her progress... Kudos, hugs and prayers, Love ya, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bauner95 Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 Lori, I am glad that you found a nice place for your mom. I have been praying for you all and I will keep the prayers coming. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamasbabygirl Posted January 31, 2006 Author Share Posted January 31, 2006 Thanks ladies for the positive feedback, it helps me tremendously to kepp going. Karen, after mom's surgery, the neurosurgeon told us the good news was that mom made it thru surgery, but two of the old tumors he had treated with stereotactic were active again "so there may be more surgery in her future". So, I guess he would, but I am not sure how in the heck she would be strong enough to handle it. I know my mom never wanted to live her life if it meant being away from home this long or forever...that is why i want her to make the decision while she is able. The talk will probably happen this week. Pray for her to be OK with making some decisions, it will ease my mind when she becomes part of the decision making process. Love to you all....me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted January 31, 2006 Share Posted January 31, 2006 ((((lori)))) you're such a power of example to me. you seem to really have that balance of being involved and yet letting your mom run her own show. I feel like I always go too far one way or the other. you're both in my thoughts frequently, and I will say an extra prayer for all these decisions you have coming up. I know you'll be a great support to her in doing what is right for HER. xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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