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Mom Memories


Treebywater

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I thought I would share this with everyone, since there are so many of us who lost our Mom's or Dad's concurrent with having our first child, or when we had young children who would miss out on a lot of typical "Grandparent moments."

I've been thinking about putting together a book of some sort for Carolyn with memories of my Mom. Someone suggested that a long while back here... And I DID tuck it away, and have been working on things in that vein even before that.

Today I sent out an email to her remaining siblings asking for them to contribute THEIR memories about Mom.

I'm also going to ask some folks that Mom worked with to contribute, and some of her close friends.

I want to do the same for Andy's Dad, who he lost our freshman year of college, and suprise Andy with the beginnings of it for Father's Day (even though it will ultimately be a present for Carolyn and any other kids we might have).

Anyway... I thought this would be a great way for Carolyn to "know" her Gramma Caro and Grandpa Paul even though they aren't here with us anymore.

I have a feeling it will be cathartic as well.

Val

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Hi Val,

I always suggest that idea, especially when there are little granchilden who do not have their own memories of them. That is so precious and will help them to really know her through the eyes of others.

It is also a good source of healing.

Maryanne :wink:

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It is indeed a really good idea. I did something similar several months ago. I started out doing it for me, and it has turned into something I have/will share with my kids. My son misses his grandfather terribly still and my daughter was born 4 months after he passed away.

I started printing off all the posts I made from here before he died...the beginnings of the cancer journey, the raw emotions, hopes, let downs, etc...and put it in a book that ends with the post that announced his death. I then put together a scrapebook of photos of all the great times up to the last picture that was taken of him.

It is priceless. And I know yours will be too.

P.S. I think making one for Andy about his dad for father's day is a fantastic idea! You kids will treasure those memory books and pass them on to their kids one day.

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Val,

I have to tell you that I spent most of this morning going through your blog. I still haven't made a dent, but I could relate to so much of what you so eloquently wrote in there. I have a journal I write in...and I think you have inspired me to start a weblog.

I'm missing my mom much more lately. I've spent the past 14 weeks since my mom's death in a sort of shock. I believe my coping mechanism kept the reality of it all just out of my reach. And I kind of liked it that way. Then all of a sudden about two weeks ago, it all hit. I have been spending a lot of time crying, thinking, sitting in my mom's room on her bed. Talking to her. Crying into Ian's baby hair. I see so much of what you say in your site in myself, it makes me hurt for both of us...for ALL of us on here who have lost our moms while pregnant or right after giving birth. I have said it a million times, I would give anything to be able to put that baby into her arms, just once. Some silly part of me feels like if I was able to do that, maybe I could have saved her. Silly, silly me! I guess I just look into Ian's eyes, and see how now he is starting to smile, and get to be really fun, you know, that my mom would not want to miss a moment of it. But in reality I know she is so much happier now. In one week this month, I dealt with the 3 month anniversary of her death, what would have been hers and my stepdad's (who died of LC in 1999) 15th anniversary, and Mother's Day. I swear, Mother's Day is the day I was dreading, even before my mom died, and it's the day I "thawed." The day the floods came, all of the memories came, the realization that we would be making no more new memories. My mom would not be giving me a Mother's Day card. I'm thinking of her every second nowadays. Nothing I do is without thought that I wish she were here to witness it. The reality of her being gone, FOREVER, has hit.

I am going to make it through your entire blog. I hope you don't mind. I almost feel like I am invading your private space by reading it. But I admire your being able to organize your thoughts so well into this space. And I think that getting a memory book together is a truly wonderful idea. I've always believed that grandparents are such an important part of a child's life. My mom and I lived with mine until I was 14 and I was SO close to them. Since our mom's are gone it is so important to keep their memories alive and make sure our kids know and respect them as we did.

Good luck with putting the book together. I know it will be a very soothing project.

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Val,

What a terrific idea!!! I've been writing Mom moments in my journal and when the time comes, I like your idea of turning it into a memory book for the wee ones.

I'm sure your daughter with treasure it greatly. So, I suspect, will her Mom! :D

Kel

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