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What would you do?


j's girl

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It's been 8 weeks today that we lost Mom to LC. She was still fighting her battle and actually seemed to be winning. Doctors say she likely had a heart attack or a blood clot. My avatar is a picture of Mom with my son 4 days before she died. To say her death was a shock is a huge understatement.

Now, Dad is having bowel concerns. He has had 2 colonoscopies and a barium enema. The barium enema showed something in his colon that is just out of reach of the colonoscopy so we don't know what that "something" is. He has a ct scan booked for November 28.

When I talked to him last I suggested trying to get that date moved up. He doesn't seem too anxious about it. I'm going a little crazy with worry. I feel like there are a million rubber balls bouncing around in my head. I can't concentrate on anything and I can't focus.

It's way too soon to do this fight again. And maybe it's nothing, hopefully it's nothing but not knowing for that long will drive me nuts.

I'm torn. I'm still trying to come to terms with losing Mom. Part of me wants to roll up me sleeves and get into the fight for Dad. But I don't want to upset him either. If he's comfortable waiting, I don't want to get him worked up about it.

In Canada, I think one of our huge problems is waiting times. Dad's timeline is very similar to what we went through with Mom. It was a year ago that she was going through all the test and it was January before we got an official diagnosis and she didn't start treatment until March. With that in mind, I don't want to wait too long, but I'm just not sure I'm up to it.

Thoughts, suggestions?

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I'm sorry you are having to deal with this scare now. BUT, my advice.....my Dad is very independent, usually says "let's not get excited" etc etc. He is all I have left. I have a new motto and it goes like this "its easier to just do it and ask for forgiveness later" I can go back and forth with my Dad and I've learned to just take the iniative. He always gets over it and we all feel better.

Get that appointment moved up! And if you have to say, that the doctors office called and said they had a cancellation and would you like an earlier appt? You will rest better not having to wait another month...........

Good luck and I am praying for nothing serious and thinking of you!

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MY advice on the CT scan, walk into the ER!!!!!!!!

My mother was having neurological issues late aug, her neurology appt was scheduled for Oct 13...she went to the ER instead on Sept 5. She died Oct 5. I am not saying that your dad is in that kinda trouble, just saying unfortunately, you want urgent care...off to the ER!!!

Again, the Canada thing I've heard about, hard to get into these machines because there aren't many of them. That is a political discussion for another website I guess.

And it looks like you and I will be feeling the same way every Thursday. 3 weeks today for me, and it's getting worse dealing with it. I think because the holidays are approaching. Ugh!

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First off, let me say my prayers continue for you. It is so hard to have just recently have suffered the loss of your mom, but now having to face this "something" with Dad? UGH!

I was just reading a report about the extensive wait time in Canada. How sad. (Brad was from Canada so I am somewhat familiar with the healthcare system there.) I am wondering about a 2nd opinion for your father, maybe even to have someone new read the scan/test results? You might get someone to have a peek at those sooner than getting an appt.

As difficult as this is to do, try to breathe and relax. I can understand the stress is unbearable. Perhaps your own dr could give you an anti anxiety med?

Please keep us posted and feel free to PM me anytime if I can be of more help. In the meantime my thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family.

Hugs

Chris

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A second opinion is always a good idea, especially if you can get in to see the doctor before the scheduled scan.

On your dad wanting to wait- I think it's normal for him to feel that way. And equally normal for you to want any medical issues with him resolved quickly.

You've both been (are going) thru alot right now. Have a talk with him. Express your feelings if you can and hear what he's feeling as well. Let him know how worried you are and maybe that will prompt him to persue answers to the medical issues sooner.

Ultimately it's his decision how aggressive (or not) he wants to be with his medical care. Talk to him.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers. Please keep us updated. I am hoping that "something" turns out to be nothing.

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Well, I guess we'll wait until nov 28 for Dad's colon scan. I looked into a private clinic and it won't really speed things up that much.

Now Dad is complaining about shortness of breath! I think I'll looking into making his scan a "two-for-one". Maybe they can do a lung scan while he's there.

I feel like ducking. Lightning might be striking our family twice.

Shauna

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