rmm17 Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 My parents divorced over 12 years ago and since then my Dad and Mom did NOT get along at all. In particular my dad was always telling us all the "bad" stuff my Mom did, that she wasn't a good parent etc... He had a great way of making us feel bad for wanting to spend time with her. It got so bad that i believed him and didnt see my Mom regularly from age 14 to 20. Now that Mom is gone i am finding myself more upset and angry with my Dad and step-mom. I am angry about their continuing selfishness and about losing all that time with my Mom. I feel like in other families, when a Mom dies the kids can always find solace, or at least talk, to their fathers. In our situation, my brothers and I cannot do that. I think this is what makes me feel a little bit like Me and the boys are the only family we have left. I am just curious if anyone else has been in a similar situation...and how you dealt with it. You all have been so great the past 8 weeks..i dont know how i could do it without you! Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick C Posted February 9, 2007 Share Posted February 9, 2007 My parents divorced approx 15 years ago as well. And never spoke a word to eachother after that. Made for strange graduations, and they came close to speaking at my wedding, but still did not. When mom passed, I will save you the long drawn out, Dad was not just not supportive, he was offensive in somethings he said about mom in the days after and was not supportive to me, even when I asked him to be. He still isn't so much. We do get together for breakfast now about once or twice a month...I'm working to make something of a repair to the damage which was done by his lack of compassion. It isn't exactly the same, my parents never overtly tried to sway my opinion about the other, but I did experience the disappointment of expecting a parent to step up and be a parent, and in return getting a headache. It actually made me miss mom more...and in a way feel a bit orphaned. But you were (and still are) young. If your actions were driven by parental influences, you can't blame yourself. The time that you had to make things different between you and your mom was robbed from you. And that wasn't your fault either. My relationship with my mother never became everything I wanted it to be, and it appears as yours didn't either...but that is because time we were supposed to have by virtue of our and our mother's age and the usual "averages" was not granted to us... It isn't our fault. Rochelle, you shouldn't be in this spot. I was too young...you were FAR too young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kamataca Posted February 10, 2007 Share Posted February 10, 2007 Rochelle, I don't even know what to say. I am so sorry that you are stuck in this place. My only thought is to lean on your brothers and try to table your feelings toward your dad for now. The sad reality is that you just have the one parent now. I pray for you and for some peace. I wish I had more to offer. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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