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I am worried....

Beth R

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I posted in early late January and went back East to see my mom for a week. She still cannot walk well, though we managed to do some things--pedicures, dinner, coffee shop. I helped to cook and clean and freeze foods, which helped to take some of the pressure off my stepdad (the most wonderful man) and my sister.

Mayo Clinic screwed up the paperwork and sent it to pain management and it was denied, and it could take a few more weeks. Is that true or did they really deny her because the cancer is too advanced?????

She went to the James Cancer Hospital at OSU and that went okay. She decided to pursue treatment at Mount Carmel East Hospital in Columbus, Ohio.

She finished the radiation treatments, and has had nothing for over a week. She will start chemo at the end of next week. She has a blood clotting disorder, Von Willebrands (sp?) and she cannot take certain chemos cause they could make bleed to death. As it is now, she is on loads of oxycontin, clonipin, and alprozalem (sp?).

I am worried. I live in CA. I work 2 jobs and was planning to go home in early April. I teach classes at a local University, and it is hard to get subs. I don't know what to do. Should I go back earlier and cancel the classes? (I can manage bills for a little while without the classes) I am worried she might be more decompensated at that time.

My stepdad says that the prognosis was "months" and he could not be more specific. My mom refuses to hear any prognosis and all doctors have been told not to release prognosis.

She had 10 days of radiation treatments and seems somewhat better, but still having a very hard time walking. It is a concern that the cancer has burned through her spine and could result in paralysis (she does not know this it would freak her out too too much)

I am afraid time is short, but then as I read some of these stories, I think there could be more time.

Please help. I am sorry to run on here.

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I would say plan on april like you have planned. THe Cancer that starts with an A that you mentioncould be adenocarcinoma, Treatable usually with Chemo. The Most common and most well researched Cancner for Lung Cancer. Try and get on your Moms Oncologist Call list. YOu should be able to call at anytime to get info on meds and conditiion. Make sure Step dad keeps a notebook for questions to ask and answers given. Pain management should be a number one priority for treatment right now. there should not be any or minimal if any.

That is about all I can add right now. Sending prayers for You and Mom and StepDad.

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I agree with Katie about speaking to your mom's doctor to get the facts about her disease progression. Getting this info will help you to decide whether you can comfortably wait until April to go home. I hope they can get your mom's pain under control fast! I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Try to stay strong!

God Bless,


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I agree with talking to the doctor first and deciding to go or wait based upon that information. Personally, I have asked my hubby's family and friends to come visit us "sooner than later" since he is feeling pretty good right now as opposed to waiting and not knowing if it will ever be as good of a time. I know it is different cicumstances but sort of the same jist.

If you are there in person, you can accompany her to the doctor and gently inquire about anything you feel you need to know as well as see if you can get authorization to request information without going through your mom.

My thoughts are with you.


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Beth -

I feel for you so very much. Having been in a very similar situation as you...I say "GO." You will never regret it. If work can wait a bit, let it wait. There are stories of lengthy survivals, but I can also tell you that my mom never smoked, had run a marathon months earlier, etc -- and that her adnecarcinoma spread so quickly we will all shocked -- we did all the "right" things - radiation for pain, chemo to help control it, etc. I am so grateful that I was with her....You never know. I pray that you have many trips to visit her.

Most importantly, get her or your stepdad to level with you -- or let you talk to the doctors.

Thinking of you tonight.


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I'm fortunate to live near my Mom, but I have to say, I cherish the moments this terrible disease has given us together. I know it's hard to put life on hold, and there may be other times when she actually needs you more, but spend whatever time you can.

I think it's a great idea to talk with her doc and perhaps gain some insight from him/her.

ALso, if you're not able to go to appointments with Mom, have her take a tape recorder with her to the appointment - that way you get all the information the doc has given. (I always find that Mom's recollection of the visit is less detailed than I'd like.

Whatever you do - good luck and best wishes foo you and your family


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Thankyou Everyone. I appreciate your support. I decided to go back east and cancelled all my classes. This was the right decision now, I am sure of it. I leave next Sat and my mom is very happy that I will be there.

My mom had the first chemo today. She seemed to be okay, but she said the pain in her leg has gotten worse and she can hardly walk. Her voice was hoarse the other day, and that really scared me. She has lost 10 lbs and she is already was a little lady. How can this be happenning so quickly?

I didn't talk to the doctor. I guess I don't really want to know, because it is bad enough already.

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I live a 7 hour drive away from my Dad, it is so hard when they are so ill. My Dad lives with my Sister so I know that he is very well looked after, but its just not the same as having him next door, and although we speak every day by phone its no substitute really. I try to fly to see him once a week and I cherish the time we can spend together.

Best wishes


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