kamataca Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Just checking in, after my last panicked post. I have been able to start off the school year, mostly successfully. I do believe there is something to the "fake it 'til you make it" philosophy. I'm not emotionally where I should be at school, but I don't think it's adversely affecting the kids. We are following the Great Expectations program this year, which includs the idea of a "neck-up check-up" for the teacher. Am I smiling? Have I left my baggage where it belongs? Am I letting things I can't control, control me? All good questions for me right now. I did go to a grief support group. It is very informal, with a religious background. It was helpful--due to scheduling I haven't been able to go back yet, but I intend to. I need to feel like I am doing something to move forward. Your words of encouragement got me to that first day of school. I thank you all for that. Mom was the one I talked with everyday...the one I told everything to...Moms never get tired of hearing all of the blah-blah-blah, you know? It's been hard, with everything going on with DH's job, to not have that. It's not like I can tell him that I am scared to death about the changes. I mean, I could....but I don't want to put more pressure on him. I'm trying to branch out in talking more to others--I just feel like I don't want to 'burden' them...I never felt like I was burdening Mom. OK...rambling here. Just wanted to thank you all for getting me through a tight spot, and let you know that I'm OK. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Kelly-- I think you put into words here a lot of what I feel doing life without Mom every day. And it makes me wonder if that's where part of my fear of 'being a burden' comes from lately. I used to have Mom that I could... you know, just always 'burden' without too much guilt. Now I still have the 'burdens' but not that outlet. What do I do with it all? Anyway--thank you for helping me think through some of that. I'm so glad that you're hanging in there with the beginning of school. I knew you would. Keep faking it til you're not anymore. That day will come. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 So, so glad to hear from you. Have been WONDERING how you were, especially since I've been in my own classroom preparing. I have to tell you I almost choked when I read the "Great Expectations" component. Like we in education don't already do that-- Did you mention what you teach? gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mary colleen Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 Good for you, Kelly - you are giving even when you really need, and I'm sure the kids are better for you being there. Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted August 24, 2007 Share Posted August 24, 2007 You are doing a great job with your emotions Kelly. Work always seems to work wonders. I know exactly what you mean by telling your mom things you wouldn't tell others. Moms never criticize and the love to listen. I am sure you still talk to her. I talk to my mom all the time. I miss her so. Especially when she always gave me support and love when I needed it most. Good luck with your school year! I know you are a brillant teacher. Hang strong! Maryanne . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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