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FMLA advice?


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As the adult daughter of a dad with stage 4 NSCLC, I'm overwhelmed and lost when it comes to figuring out what the best course of action is for me. I live about an hour and a half away from my parents and spend lots of time with them, but am feeling like as my dad gets worse and worse I want to be there more. I work full time and am in graduate school as well. Putting school on hold is easy, figuring out work is harder. I know about the family medical leave act, what I don't know is how to decide when to take it. How will I know when it's time? Obviously I don't want the disease to "hurry up" but I'm so confused and scared about doing the wrong thing and not being there when my parents need me. Anyone been in a similar situation?

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Maybe your parents will let you know if the time comes that would be good for you to take time off.

Have the conversation. Tell them work will avail you the time, and you just need them to say when. Takes the pressure off you trying to figure it out and lets them know you are available to them when they want...win win.

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I too would leave it to your parents they will know when you are most needed, FLMA can only be taken for 6 months so timing has to be as just right. But you must always trust your heart and set your own priorities also on what you feel is right. I agree the conversation needs to take place for a decision to be made. When my mother took ill and my sister and I took turns caring for her, taking FLMA was a decision I never regreted. Take care.

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That is a tough decision. I know that in my case, I want to be with my sister in good times and bad ones. I don't want to only be there when she needs me, I want to be there when she is feeling good and just wants me to be there. I hope that makes sense.

I'll pray that you will be there at the perfect time.

Love,

Bobby

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I started my family leave at diagnosis. The main reason for this was to immediately protect my job. Not knowing what was down the road with my mother's treatment, this gave me peace of mind.

Also, it wasn't necessary for me to take the full 3-months in one stretch. I took it as needed, in increments. A half-day here, a full-day there. This worked best for me personally, as I wasn't torn between work and family. I was able to manage both concurrently. Also, during the two years I never came close to exhausting my FL time.

My father was just diagnosed in July, had his first chemo treatment on Monday and he is doing just fine right now, but I'm already back on leave.

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You should talk to your HR people, but I believe you have the right to take FMLA in increments rather than all at once. So you could take one day here, a half day there, etc as needed then if things change, take the time in larger blocks. The minimum you should have is 12 weeks over a 1 year period but some companies/states allow for more time. It is so hard to balance everything, I know.

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