Jump to content

my mom


Recommended Posts

My mom has been told she has lung cancer and will have a biopsy done next week to determine what type/stage. This scare started about 3 weeks ago with coughing blood & "spots" on her x-ray. I am about 200 miles away and trying to figure out how to cope with it. My mom has been the most caring, non-judgemental person I have known in my 33 years, and I can't imagine life without her. I don't think I am dealing with it well. I get through one day at a time by trying not to think about it - then it hits me - and I start crying - and feel like I will never be able to stop crying. I try to focus on some hope that maybe it is curable, but stats don't sound too good, and I don't want to give myself a false sense of hope so that I am devastated when the news isn't good. My understanding is most lung cancer patients don't survive??? She has been told it isn't operable at this stage, is it possible after chemo it can be removed? She also has something on her lympho nodes & kidney. Any suggestions on how to cope? I've always considered myself a strong person, but find this to overwhelming. I have days(like today) where I feel like I "just can't". I just can't deal with anything. My boyfriend doesn't understand and is frustrated with my moods. I blame him for not being supportive enough, but then wonder if I'm being to hard on him because he can't understand what I'm going through. I just want him to be there - loving & supportive - is this fair to expect? Or do you have to be going through it to really understand?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Stats are just numbers!!! Don't let those numbers get you down and don't listen to them. Almost everyone here has beaten those statistical numbers before. Emotionally draining? Yes it is. takes a while to get used to this new normal. But we do get used to it. It does mean watching so many unpleassant things in Life. BUT it also mean s spending quality timew with the ones we love and being with them and helping and listening and kind of getting reacquainted wiht them.

Don't let the cancer ruin your Life, Ruin the cancers Life

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry you have to be here, but am glad you came.

The very beginning seems like the worst time of all. (Or so it seemed, for me anyway).

You feel like you're walking around in a fog, or that you're having a very, very bad dream, that you can't wake up from.

I would first and foremost tell you not to give up hope, especially since your Mom's cancer type hasn't been diagnosed yet.

There are several different kinds of lung cancer, and

there are lot's of folks here, who are survivors of all types, so hold on to hope.

I too, felt very "alone" for quite a while. It's scary to go thru.

Don't worry about being "Strong"! (We were just discussing this a few days ago, and it's more then okay, to just be human!)

There's a wealth of information here on this site, along with understanding, sympathy, compassion, and an outpouring of friendship.

Take care of yourself, and take one little step at a time.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi and welcome (and I am sorry you have to be here),

First of all, this is all so new to you, you feel like the rug has been pulled out from under you. And that is completely normal.

You need to give yourself a chance to absorb what is happening to your Mom and after you do that, you will be amazed at the strength you can muster up to move forward and fight this damn disease. The statistics for lung cancer basically stink BUT... if you take a look at some of our members here, you will see that odds are meant to be beaten and there is no reason your Mom can't do that! Postive thinking goes a long way.

I think in this battle it is important to try to just take it one day at a time - don't look too far ahead.

As far as your boyfriend goes, its hard to say what is making him "uncaring" at this point. He could have had a lousy relationship with his folks and can't understand why this is upsetting you so much, or, he could love you so much, that he HATES anything that is making you this upset and therefore he is trying to make it "disspear". And he doesn't know how to do that. (does that make any sense at all?). We are all here for you. I am praying for your Mom - Keep us posted. Love, Sharon

Link to comment
Share on other sites

OK, first take a deep breath.

Then, forget the stats.

Finally, learn as much about the treatments as you can.

It is frightening, but this disease IS treatable. Poeple will scare you with stories, but the only story you need to focus on is your mom's. Read the profiles of the people who post here. There are many long term survivors of "inoperable" tumors.

Ask any questions you need to. Chances are pretty good that someone here has good information for you.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry you have had to find this support group. It is the most difficult time at the beginning when you start researching online, trying to find answers and definitions of all the medical terms you're hearing for the first time.

But I do have to say, welcome to this group. You will find this group to be very supportive and comforting when you need to vent or talk among others who understand what you're feeling. I've been where you are and it is scary. At the beginning there are many "dark days". Days when all you do is cry and think of losing your mom. When I first came here, someone on this site said to me that it would get easier once my mom started treatment. And it was. Just knowing that we were doing what we could helped me (and my mom) feel better.

You will have good days and bad. But remember statistics are just numbers. Treatment includes everything from medicine, radiation, nutrition, attitude, "fight", etc...to name just a few. Just look at this site and read about how many people are survivors here! We're here to talk when / if you need us.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Most people (actually all people) die of something...so don't worry about reading most people anything...just find out what's up and what the options are.

Re support, you'll get support here.

You are entitled to be rattled right now, your world just started going in a direction you are unfamiliar with...it's OK.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.