kamataca Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Long, but I thought it was interesting. They handed this out at our children's grief support group this week. Insert your loved one's name in the blank. I found some of the sentences very empowering, after feeling so out of control for so long. Kelly **************************************************** I Did Not Choose to Become Bereaved I did not choose to become bereaved. I grieve because I loved much. My _______ died, but my ability to love didn’t die! Since I loved, and still love very much I expect my grief to be painful. I realize that each person grieves differently. I accept that other family members have grieved and will grieve differently than I do. I have a responsibility to love and live on. I can fulfill that responsibility if I grieve and allow others to grieve. I am a part of my family and of humanity. Grief need not build a wall between my family and me, but can build a bridge. I choose to allow grief to strengthen our family ties. Grief is very real; it is not rational. I am learning to accept in others what appears irrational to me. I am learning to accept the irrational in my thoughts and actions. Crying is a part of grief and is therapeutic; it is not weak or selfish. I must allow myself to cry, even openly. Grieving does not answer the question, “Why?” Since there is no acceptable answer, I must accept the unanswered question. My ____ was a person; an important person to me. I will not forget the love and the life we had before the death. I cannot return to the ‘normal’ that existed before ____’s death. I must go on to what is now to be the ‘new normal’ for me. Getting on to a new normal does not mean forgetting _____. ______ remains in my thinking and my talking now, and will in the future. I cannot be grateful that ___ died. I am grateful that _____ lived and choose to express that gratitude. I cannot forget the events surrounding the death of my loved one. I realize that healing does not mean forgetting. If I allow it to, by my grieving, time will produce some healing. I could not control the past, which included the death of _____. I do have some control over the future as I build the future with my family. ____’s death did not happen so that I might become a better person. I choose to allow ___’s death and my grief to make me a better person. There was much I did not understand before I joined the fellowship of the bereaved. Because of my loss, I choose to become more understanding, tolerant, and compassionate. My grief has created and brought many emotional needs for me. I can meet those needs by meeting the similar needs of others. My spiritual beliefs did not die with the death of _____. I choose to use them to help me through the difficult times. Questioning those beliefs and values is not wrong. I will, as a result of my questionings, strengthen my beliefs. I did not choose to become bereaved, but I choose to allow good to come out of what has been so painful for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teriw Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Thank you for posting that Kelly. It's worth reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 the reason that 1 year 11 months and 2 weeks and 6 days I am still here helping out.. Thanks for sharing that it really does hit home in a lot of ways and I hope everyone hurting this day gets to read these posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Kelly, Thankful for your post, just on a day I needed it most. Jackie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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