kamataca Posted January 16, 2008 Share Posted January 16, 2008 Long, but I thought it was interesting. They handed this out at our children's grief support group this week. Insert your loved one's name in the blank. I found some of the sentences very empowering, after feeling so out of control for so long. Kelly **************************************************** I Did Not Choose to Become Bereaved I did not choose to become bereaved. I grieve because I loved much. My _______ died, but my ability to love didn’t die! Since I loved, and still love very much I expect my grief to be painful. I realize that each person grieves differently. I accept that other family members have grieved and will grieve differently than I do. I have a responsibility to love and live on. I can fulfill that responsibility if I grieve and allow others to grieve. I am a part of my family and of humanity. Grief need not build a wall between my family and me, but can build a bridge. I choose to allow grief to strengthen our family ties. Grief is very real; it is not rational. I am learning to accept in others what appears irrational to me. I am learning to accept the irrational in my thoughts and actions. Crying is a part of grief and is therapeutic; it is not weak or selfish. I must allow myself to cry, even openly. Grieving does not answer the question, “Why?” Since there is no acceptable answer, I must accept the unanswered question. My ____ was a person; an important person to me. I will not forget the love and the life we had before the death. I cannot return to the ‘normal’ that existed before ____’s death. I must go on to what is now to be the ‘new normal’ for me. Getting on to a new normal does not mean forgetting _____. ______ remains in my thinking and my talking now, and will in the future. I cannot be grateful that ___ died. I am grateful that _____ lived and choose to express that gratitude. I cannot forget the events surrounding the death of my loved one. I realize that healing does not mean forgetting. If I allow it to, by my grieving, time will produce some healing. I could not control the past, which included the death of _____. I do have some control over the future as I build the future with my family. ____’s death did not happen so that I might become a better person. I choose to allow ___’s death and my grief to make me a better person. There was much I did not understand before I joined the fellowship of the bereaved. Because of my loss, I choose to become more understanding, tolerant, and compassionate. My grief has created and brought many emotional needs for me. I can meet those needs by meeting the similar needs of others. My spiritual beliefs did not die with the death of _____. I choose to use them to help me through the difficult times. Questioning those beliefs and values is not wrong. I will, as a result of my questionings, strengthen my beliefs. I did not choose to become bereaved, but I choose to allow good to come out of what has been so painful for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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