Governor Arnold

[Tiny]

Subject: Governor Arnold

The New California Governor has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the state, rather than German which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, The Terminator's government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Austro-English" (or, if nobody will be offended, "Austrionics").

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage wh! ere more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evri vun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

If zis mad yu smil, pleas pas it on to oza pepl.

[Don Wood]

Actually, some of it makes a lot of sense to me. Tee Hee!

[teresag]

I've always thought "c" was irrelevant. Two other letters can substitute for all the sounds it makes. Except for "ch" - "kh"????

[ginnyde]

I think English is probably the hardest language to learn.

For example:

Pronounce -

cough

tough

dough

And I have a friend whose last name is Hough - pronounced How

Go figure.

Ginny

[Snowflake]

Ginny,

Went to college with a girl, last name Hough - pronounced "Hoff"...

Go figure! With odd spelling/sounding last names, you CAN pick out telemarketers on the phone... (My last name is "odd" and mispronounced by those nasty things...)

Becky