Andrea Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Hi everyone, I read all the time but have not been as active in posting. I hope to be better soon. I apologize for that. Some of you know me, some of the new comers don't know me that well. It has been over 4 years since my mom's diagnosis. Knock on wood, we have been so blessed. I have always suffered from major medical-related anxiety and I think my dad's diagnosis pushed me a bit over the edge. I used to be soooo ignorant and think lung cancer couldn't touch us since they quit smoking over 30 years ago. Ignorance is bliss I think :) For the past 4 years I have been living from dr appt to dr appt. I refused to plan things b/c I worried it would jinx scans, blood work, etc. I am slowing starting to learn that life will be full of tests. I worried that planning my twins first b-day will jinx my blood work in April and my dad's scans in May. My mom wisely pointed out that they will always have upcoming scans, I will always have upcoming blood work and mamograms, etc. I am trying REALLY hard to live a new "new normal" life. Yesterday we were at a beautiful outdoor mall in Newport Beach, warm weather, palm trees. I looked around at everyone and wondered who had cancer lurking in their bodies. I know that is not normal :)But I also managed to take the time to reflect on life blessings and enjoy it. The twins are 9 months this week. They are so much fun! Everyday I worry that they bring me so much joy, when is the other shoe dropping.... Ok, enough babbling. I just wanted to say hi to everyone, and just vent out loud in case others are suffering from "lunaticia" as my mom calls it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wondermom Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 Hi Andrea, I really appreciate your posts because I am the same way. I am always worried about myself or someone else in my family getting cancer. I recently posted about my anxiety in finding a cyst on my ovary. I instantly thought the worst because it was a "complex" cyst. I have a follow up ultrasound in early May. I am trying REALLY hard not to worry about it and I think I am doing okay, but it is always in the back of my mind. I think if my mom could get lung cancer then why couldn't this happen to me? Being a worrier is exhausting, isn't it? I always tell my family they don't have to worry about anything because I worry enough for all of us! Take care! Your babies are adorable! Jill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted March 27, 2008 Author Share Posted March 27, 2008 Thanks Jill and Katie for letting me vent!! (I will be searching for cyst results in May) I actually think my weight problem has a bit to do with anxiety. I had lost 60lbs, gained 30back. Almost like if I am heavy, I have that wrong with me and if I were less fluffy, things would be way too good I am going back on track though trying to lose it agian I am soooo blessed, I can have no complaints, but I guess we are all human and i have those deomons so if nothing else, I hope my neurosis/lunaticia can make someoen else feel better about their own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
famograham Posted March 27, 2008 Share Posted March 27, 2008 I can't really say anything to help. But I wanted to tell you that I will be joining you in the obsessive worrier's club. I tend to take on all the worry for everyone I know who needs worrying about, and many who don't. I worry about all the what if's too....I think I'll fit right in. It's not an easy road to take though, is it?? (((hug))) Linda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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