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Am I up for this?

Lee and Chi

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I have learned never to say "things can't get any worse," because inevitably, they always do. I hadn't actually said the phrase out loud, but I've thought it a few times over the past few weeks.

Then today happened.

My lifelong best friend, the girl I have pictures with as a toddler, the one who is always there, no matter the distance....you know...the friend who should have been my sister has horrible news. She is pregnant with twins, but was told today that one has anencephaly. If she manages to carry it long enough, it will only live for a few hours after birth.

I'm still struggling down here in the dirt after being pummeled by my Mother's death. I'm still eating pancakes and raw cookie dough 3 times a day because I don't care much for food yet. I still mope every afternoon. I still have uncontrollable crying fits at the most inopportune times. I'm standing, but barely.

How can I get her through this when I am having a hard time getting myself through my own life? It's almost deja vu, counting the days until it's time for another funeral.

I'm trying to rally the troops, but so far, only my pinky toe is chanting "you can do it," and it's not very loud!! The rest of my body is on strike.

I guess I just need to hear I can do this so I will believe it.

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Absolutely you CAN do this and from deep within you will find the strength to pick yourself up and dust yourself off and do what you need to.

It is not easy, we all know that but it can be done.

Come here often, lean on us, vent, cry, scream and we will be here to hold you up and help guide you.

Prayers and hugs for you and your friend and the babies. God bless you all.....



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