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Welcome, Sue!

I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I'm also sorry to hear she's having difficulty dealing with her dx and doctors. Beleive me when I say MANY of us have been in her exact same shoes. Could she be fearful that knowing more would depress her more? If so, I would encourage you to share some of the positive/success stories from this board. I am one of them. But let me explain that I got 4 different opinions. Mom may believe she's already been handed a death sentence. That's exactly what I thought too. Only I thought that almost 4 years ago!!! Guess I was obstinate or something, but I just kept going and going until I found someone to help me.

Many are here to support you during this journey.......for your mother too. I was 58 at dx and depending on which doctor you asked ~ I was lllA or lllB. There is so much hope with new treaatments and such. Just encourage all you can.


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Welcome Sue. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. It must be very frustrating to not know what exactly is going on and difficult when you do not live in the same city. I am glad to hear she is being treated though and wish you all the best.


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Welcome Sue. You know you can ask your mom to give the doctor(s) permission to talk to you. I did for my daughter. My oncologist was very kind in offering her information about what was going on with me. It's not unusual to have zero contact with the oncologist when you go for chemo. My visits with my onc are completely separate from the chemo visits even though the chemo nurses are following the orders of the oncologist.

I would also pose your question about the number of rounds of chemo to Dr West on cancergrace.org. LCSC site is awesome for survivor and caretaker information and support but if you want a doctor's opinion, he's the man. He and other doctors answer every question promptly and there is no charge! I think that from reading other posts on cancergrace, 12 rounds seems like twice the norm. Yet again, you say there has been shrinkage so....

Good luck and keep us up to date.

Judy in Key West.

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I'm glad you found us. Perhaps your Mom does not say much after an appt. because onc tells her less then they tell you? She needs to know she's not alone, there's a gazillion of us out there and fighting and winning!

The did you, do you smoke question is worse then the spanish inquasition! Ugghhhh I used to hate that question. Were not the sexy pink cancer. Then again 15 yrs ago, breast cancer was a maiming humiliation for all women and "not talked about".

Were here all the time and were talking about it and were winning! Keep us updated. Your doing a good job. Mary

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Like Judy, I signed a release so my oncologist and other members of my patient care team could make full disclosure to my daughter.

Your mother may be unwilling to do so, but you could at least ask. Remember, too, though that ultimately she is the only one who can decide what treatments, if any, to undergo. This latter fact can be a rough one for family members.


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.--the late, great George Carlin

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