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No Surgery...

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Mom has now spoken to her oncologist personally... it turns out the tumor is wrapped around a major artery feeding into her right arm, making surgery deemed impossible. She says she was told that it's been attempted many times but that it's been unsuccessful due to the amount of blood loss... I don't want to try to interpret that, or think about what unsuccessful means. I will be writing to cancergrace tonight. I just had my son on Tuesday and talked to mom on Thursday about this. The mix of crappy news, sleep deprivation, hormones in flux and not getting enough to eat has made me break down and bawl many times already. She is so happy to meet her grandson. She takes him sometimes in the evening/afternoon for his naps while I do the cleaning or catch some shut eye myself.

I want and need her to be here and see him grow up with me. I'm hoping the other opinions I'll be seeking from surgeons may contain more hopeful news, but at the same time I'm scared we will get ourselves into a situation where surgery may be far more dangerous than it should be. Feeling at a loss these days. I wish someone would jump out and say 'hey, I have the cure!' and just fix all this mess.

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Aww sweetie such a full plate you have right now.

As for Mom, I am sure the oncologist has her best interest at hand when he tells her that they cannot operate... Lets concentrate on treatment to shrink it and keep it at bay at least for now. I am SURE that you will get some much better information on GRACE later...

Now... CONGRATULATIONS on your new baby!!! How much did he weigh? How long is he? What did you name him??? HE will be one of the biggest joys in your Moms life and one of her biggest incentives to fight this damn cancer with all she has. What a blessing for you all!!!! Now, I cannot wait to see pictures!!!

Keep the hope Jackie and remember you need to take EXCELLENT care of you right now. Life is so overwhelming for you now but we are here for you and we will continue to be here for you... Just keep posting as you can and let us know what you need.

Lots of hugs!!


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My heart goes out to you and your mom. I hope that you will receive news of treatment options soon. Hang in there and take it one day at a time. Remember to take care of you too, that new baby is depending on you. Do post pics in the pics section, for all of us to see your new bundle of joy. In the meantime, I wish I had some information to help you, but I am not familiar with your situation. Know that you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.


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Hi Marci. Yes, this can quite often feel like a cruel awful mess...because it is. I too have had the discussion re the risks of surgery. Sometimes though, in cases like your mom and I, we have just as good survival odds with other treatment as we do surgery. We just think surgery is a better option.

Hey, congrats on your new son and your mom's grandson. It is probably a blessing that you are all in the same house right now. Take it easy on yourself and cry when you need to. A new baby alone is tough enough, let alone coping with your dear mother and this awful disease.

Please come her as often as you like. We are here for you and will give you all the support we can. Take it one day at a time, and most importantly, please try and get as much sleep as you can. We all know that sleep allows us to cope much better in stressful situations such as these.


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Congratulations on your new bundle of joy. I am sorry things don't look like they are looking in favor of surgery. You do need to think positive about treatment. I didn't have surgery because there was nothing they could take out. Even though I was diagnosed 3b, 4a in the new staging system, I went into remission soon after my sixth chemo treatment. Am still in remission 15 months out from my dx.

Hang in there and Sandra made a real important point. Sleep is key to handling any stressful situation.

Judy in Key West

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Most of us are not lucky enough to qualify for surgery (lung cancer is rarely diagnosed in early stages), but chemo and radiation are always still on the books so please don't treat the inability to have surgery as the end of hope.

What a wonderful gift you have given your mother... to see her grandchild during this time--to actually be able to hold him in her arms--may well be the best treatment she will ever get.

Your number one priority, however, has to be to take care of yourself (if you're not okay, then neither your child nor mother can be okay).

With love and affection,


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.--George Carlin

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