Jump to content

Starting Again


Recommended Posts

Hello All,

Although I don't post much lately, I do my best to keep track of you all. Just wanted to share a little something.

My Brother in Law called me last night. He has been in Florida for two months getting away from the Colorado cold. I think it may have been difficult for him to tell me this, but he has starting going out again. Apparently nothing real serious, be has decided to venture out into the dating world.

As I told him, I couldn't be happier. Maura has been gone for over two years, and I honestly don't want this wonderful man to be alone. I think that may have been a relief for him to hear, and I honestly meant it. I was honored that he even confided in me, and I hope he continues to do so.

After we hung up the phone, I had this very strange feeling that perhaps I was being disloyal to my Sister. Anyone have a similar situation? And if so, how did you handle it?? Any advice would be appreciated. Ellie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Big hugs and Yeah for Him. He will be happier I think from a guys point of view. It takes a lot for someone to "get out there" again. Support him and be happy for him Sis! I know Ya are! I first felt guilty after 2 years with out dating and when I did I felt guilty about it. Felt like I was cheating on the relationship that I used to have. when I dated Tamara, the first time I felt good about things. Comfortable in my skin again. not like I was cheating but HAPPY!!!! Don't get me wrong I do miss Deb but I know I don't want to be alone and sad the rest of my life so.....

Don't feel like you are betraying Maura, You aren't. When he meets the right person, that he is comfortable and feels right to him, You will get to meet her and who knows, You might see Maura in her in some way. Personality wise or Physical or in some way.

There are qualities in Tamara that remind me of Deb. And I think that makes me feel comfy cozy Ya Know!!!

Prayers and Hugs Randy right down 52 from Ya !!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ellie, you did fine, and I'm so happy for your brother-in-law. If cancer got the better of me at some point, I'd be delighted to think my wonderful wife (now only 61) might find someone to share the rest of her years. In fact, it's hard for me to understand how anyone could feel otherwise. Aloha,


Link to comment
Share on other sites

My Dad started dating pretty quick after my Mom passed away. They had been married for 34 years. He remarried about 16 months later - he really did not want to be alone.

He was with wife two for about 20 years, loved having 3 grand kids through her children, and highly improved the lives of a second family. I only wish he had not been secretive about her - we only found out a month before the wedding.

He is so lonely these days - she passed away about 5 years ago and coming up on 90, he isn't exactly getting out and about.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have no first hand experience about this situation in particular. But I think you supporting your brother in law is doing MUCH to honor your sister and her memory. What better could you do than care about the happiness of the man she loved. For many ~ a difficult concept. But as the wife of a man who lost his first wife ~ I am honored by the support of his family. And in return ~ I do feel it honors his first wife. Maura would support YOU in this, I'm sure.


PS: How's dad doing?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Ellie.

Bravo, you did the right thing. My feelings are like Ned's on this -- I very very very much hope my husband finds someone he loves and who loves him as soon as possible after my death. He's 66 and I don't want him to be alone and especially not to grow old alone. We've been married for nearly 42 wonderful years and nothing is going to negate that -- I just want him to continue to be happy and loved for all the years he has left. I even run thru the women we know and make recommendations (both positive and negative), not that he listens to me... LOL.

I'm sure it's hard for you but I would bet it's what your sister would want.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.