Tami Posted December 23, 2003 Share Posted December 23, 2003 I hope those of you who may feel this is inappropriate will forgive me I have no one else to ask and this is truely the most difficult of decisions. As you may remember I began this journey in March of 01 I've had 2 thoratic surgeries, 2 6 week rounds of chemo, 12 weeks of radiation, misdiagnosis, and finally a pneumonectomy of the left lung in 02. So far so good. I just turned 40 in November. Well that's the history, here's the problem. I just found out that I am 1 month pregnant. This in itself is funny--I have 3 children 17(!), 12 and 11. The first one I went through fertility treatments finally using Clomid and was able to get pregnant. I wanted another child desperately and went through more and more infertility treatments finally after using perganol (sp?) and an experimental ovarian surgery I had #2. The doc's said that's it but low and behold while still nursing #2 I had enough perganol remaining in my system for #3. It was a miracle and I was thrilled. That brings us to 01 and cancer. I signed papers that informed me that chemo would destroy my fertility (that was just one of those trade-offs), radiation may as well. I also developed a cyst on my left ovary during treatment and surgery was preformed to remove it as a precaution. My doctor put me on Birth control pills to keep me from experiencing problems with menopause and they regulated things for me and I've been on them faithfully. But I suppose fate has decided to make my life interesting again. I am pregnant and have no idea what to do. I keep thinking I'm too old for this, I don't think I could carry a baby with one lung will it get enough oxygen? What about the side effects of all these treatments? Then the BIG question!! The odds are against me living to see this child grow up. I may not even get to see it enter kindergarten. I know that no one has any guarantees in life but I KNOW the odds are not in my favor. I'm really torn up inside and I'm scared. When I was sick the thing that tore me up the most was leaving my kids. Not just dying but being in the hospital, being on the couch sick. I wanted to be with them and do things with them. But I had the consulation of knowing they were older and could understand. But a baby.... I just don't know what to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Karen C. Posted December 23, 2003 Share Posted December 23, 2003 Tami, If you want to PM me you can reach me at David C - I usually log in under my husband's username but thought I'd just check in real quick (I'm at work) and saw your message. I, too underwent LOTS of IF treatments but mine were never successful (well, I got pregnant 3X but miscarried). I guess you can say that the treatments ended up being successful, because we ended up adopting Faith from China which was, after all, what God wanted us to do (but had to do the IF first to find that out). OK, I digress, but I sorta related to your story. First of all, you don't know what your body is capable of doing without first consulting with good dcotors. I would find a good high risk OB and consult with them about your one lung issue and carrying the baby. Secondly, what makes you think you won't be around to see the baby grow up? You sound like you're beating the cancer. But if not, are you married? Do you have a husband who will raise the child? A dear family member or friend to name as guardian? No one knows if they'll be here to see their children get raised. When we adopted we were required to name a guardian in the event of our untimely demise. We were forced to face that possibility, and that was even before we knew about Dave's cancer. Not trying to be so blunt here, I know you're just scared, but take a deep breath, and try to find out more about what might happen. My heart goes out to you, but also talk to God, He will see you through. Perhaps He is blessing you with a gift, a message of some sort. I hope so. Karen C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted December 23, 2003 Share Posted December 23, 2003 Well first of all I don't think any of us could or would tell you what to do, this is all your decesion (and the fathers). But of course having said that let me say that Karen C is right, before you even begin to decide what to do you need to see a high risk ob and quickly. You may be surprised what you can or can't do. My husband and I found ourselves expecting a baby after adopting 2 children. It was a shock to say the least so I know where you're coming from there . My husband was scared to death to have a child at his age and went a little nutty. Last night we were on the couch and he was holding her while she slept and he said, "I can't believe I was so afraid of having you" So find out the danger to yourself and to the baby and then reevaluate the situation. Who would raise him or her if something did happen to you? Let us know how you're doing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted December 23, 2003 Share Posted December 23, 2003 Children are blessings from God. I believe he would not have given you this blessing then desert you. Find a good Doctor and trust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
norme Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 Tami, One gets on here and thinks they have read about everything and anything that could happen to one going through this disease but what is happening to you really floors me. Like the rest, I have no answers. I know it took me 10 years to have a child and never had any after and would have given anything to have more even if i were 40 but with what you have gone through, you must talk with more then one dr to get an idea of where to go with this. I just wish I could grab you through this computer and give you a big hug and say I will help you in whatever you decide you must do. If I lived by you I would make a great babysitter... Pray hard to God and ask for his guidence. Go where your heart tells you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 You are the only one to decide this. Keep in mind that cancer does not always mean a death penalty. Seek a good OB Dr and talk with him/her. God may be giving you a new life to help get you thru this. Prayers said for you. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted December 24, 2003 Share Posted December 24, 2003 Tami, I don't have any answers for you... but I felt compelled to share part of my story....I can relate to alot of what you said. I found out that I was pregnant at 41, when my daughter was 21. Needless to say I was shocked!! Of course at the time I was healthy, and did not have cancer, or at least had no idea if I did. Even with being healthy, for awhile I didn't know what to do but believe that everything happens for a reason and decided to have my son. My pregnancy was easier than I thought it would be and the birth was even easier! My son is a joy to me and never ceases to amaze me and make me laugh. All that said, I have to say that my greatest regret and worry is leaving him. The fear that I have for him if something should happen to me is paralyzing...he is 4 and a half years old now. I am so afraid for his future sometimes, that it takes my breath away. It is only because of him, that I am afraid to die. Perhaps thats a good thing...... Everyone's situation is different...and you have been given some good advice. Your first step is to go to a good OB and see if it is something that you can physically do. I wish you luck in whatever you choose... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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