Meeko Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 my dad passed away last week...after fighting so hard to live..,and i mean fight.. in 3 months her went from 260lbs to 150 lbs..my dads a warrior. he had so many radiation treatments that it burned a whole in his back...radiation everyday and chemo once a week...i never truly knew how deeply i loved and respected my dad. see, i live with my parents..they put a feeding tube in his stomach. dad is retired military...has been married to mom for 56 years and raised 5 kids...mom is quiet..,she bottles her pain and i am worried about her...i don't want to lose her to.. could someone give me some advice about helping mom..my heart breaks as i know my mom is lost without dad. they were best friends and did everything together..she was holding his hand when he died... i am mad as hell! i didn't want him to leave me,our rock,our everything but that is the selfish part of me.. rest in peace my beautiful and loving dad...you will be truly missed by many... thanks meeko Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted February 23, 2010 Share Posted February 23, 2010 meeko, I am so deeply sorry for your loss. People will say that at least it went quickly. No, that's just a nod to the fact that his suffering ended. But you and your family didn't even have time to process his dx and it was over. I understand your concern about your mom. I would say just listen to her but sometimes people don't even have the words to express their feelings. Maybe you can show her. Talk about your Dad, tell her you're mad even tho it doesn't make sense. Talk about your saddness but talk about good times too. I wish there was some way we could help beyond just being here. Thanks for telling us and feel free to come back any time. Judy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
millie's girl Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 I am so sorry to hear about your loss. . I remember you quite well...we are both from Arkansas. I wish I had the words to comfort you and your family but sometimes words can't express our deepest emotions. I will say I'll pray for your strength as well as the strength of your mom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
recce101 Posted February 24, 2010 Share Posted February 24, 2010 Meeko, my heartfelt condolences to you and your mom. I don't have much advice to offer other than what Judy has already suggested. You can expect your emotions to be on the surface for a good while, and those delightful funny stories about your dad will often end in tears, but you shouldn't avoid talking about him trying to avoid those tears. In time you probably won't miss his physical presence quite so much, and his essence will always be part of your family. My Aloha, Ned Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted February 25, 2010 Share Posted February 25, 2010 Something that always helped me when I lost my wife was to talk to her!! Sometimes at night before Ya go to sleep, Talk to your dad! tell him everything! Ya had a flat tire, the dog ran off, the gas bill is due! Anything at all! I recommend doing this under the stars if the weather is nice but not right now. It is a form of closure kind of. You have to get grief out of your body like a toxin in my mind. If it stays bottled up it will drive you crazy so talk or write and do it whenever ya feel like doing it! ALos if your younger and have some good arms .. Throwing eggs is pretty good therapy. Nut talk to dad every night for a while . He is tight overhead watching down on you and Mom!! My condolences on your loss.. I know how hard it is right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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