Trawna Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 Today would have been our fortieth anniversary, had it not been for lung cancer. I remember so clearly celebrating my husband's parents' 40th and 50th and thinking how happy they were and hoping we would also be that happy, never imagining that he would not live long enough to celebrate either. Sitting here, after being awake all night, I am thankful that both my daughter and bro-in-law remembered the day. Sometimes you feel so alone.... but I think that many times others remember but do not want you to feel badly so they don't mention it. Thabnk god my relatives don't feel that way, and will come out and just say what's on their mind, which is usually what's on mine too. To all of you who have special memories today, know that all of those that love you are thinking of you ande caring for you, whether they can say it or not, and know that they love you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 big hugs from way down south In the carolinas and hope the day passes gently for you.. ((((Trawna)))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trawna Posted August 28, 2010 Author Share Posted August 28, 2010 (((Randy)))! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 Trawna, Also hoping the day passes gently for you. So glad your family remembers and shares with you. It's so important, for our memories are what keeps our loved ones alive in our hearts. God bless you. Judy in MI Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 I also send you extra good hugs. Yesterday was my parents 61st, if she had not died 27 years ago. I realized yesterday that I have now lived half my life without my Mom. And I still miss her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted August 28, 2010 Share Posted August 28, 2010 I understand, especially that others remember. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trawna Posted August 28, 2010 Author Share Posted August 28, 2010 Thanks, (((Judy))))! Hugs to you, and hoping that you too will have a good day! And thanks Ginny, I know that those of us who are left behind always remember and understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trawna Posted August 28, 2010 Author Share Posted August 28, 2010 Thanks, ts. My mom died of ovarian cancer in March 1981 and I still miss her every day. I talk to her every day, even though I know she can't hear me or respond, but it makes me feel happier to do so, so I know how you feel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trawna Posted August 31, 2010 Author Share Posted August 31, 2010 thanks, Katie! The fact that you are never alone here is one of the greatest benefits of your marvellous site. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb73 Posted September 1, 2010 Share Posted September 1, 2010 I know exactly what you mean about people feeling free to mention these special anniversaries to us. When our relatives do so, it's a blessing. It is on our minds anyway, so why not discuss it? This site has been huge in helping to vent emotion. Without it, I'd have been so very lost trying to deal with the void where Bill used to be. That emptiness has been the most difficult of all. Our 55 anniversary would have been this September 17. Bill died at the halfway mark. It seems as though dates stand out so vividly when we have lost so very, very much. As has been mentioned, we are never alone here. Your posting touched me. Barbara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trawna Posted September 1, 2010 Author Share Posted September 1, 2010 Dear Barb: I have followed your story (and Bill's) for a couple of years, and realise how precious your memories of him must be. You are so right, that our emptiness is a huge void, and the reality is that no one can fill it, but our good memories, like a balm, can help us ease the pain from day to day, and also help to bring back the best thoughts of our long and multi-faceted relationship. I had almost 40 years to develop that, and you have had almost 55 years. A lot of time to build on, to reflect on, and my heart goes out to you. I hope you have a gentle and easy day, today and in future days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted September 1, 2010 Share Posted September 1, 2010 Barbara and Trawna, You've both probably heard "At least you had so many good years together!" I apologize for anyone who ever said that. I just read this book and the woman said, "That just means that there is more to miss." I never thought of it that way, but I bet it feels like that. Many peaceful days and sweet memories for all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trawna Posted September 1, 2010 Author Share Posted September 1, 2010 Thanks, TS but you don't need to apologise! Those who say that are focusing on the positive, that's all. Having had 39 years with mine, I honestly do feel badly for those who have had less. it doesn't mean we feel better than they do, but it does mean we have have more time together to enjoy. I have always felt badly for young children who lost their faith in Santa Claus early, because of what joy they missed, and I feel the same way about those who lose their near ones very soon. I always felt "gypped" about losing my Mom at 32, because I knew she had so much more to share. Thanks so much for your kind thoughts! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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