fillise Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Mom seems to be rapidly losing strength. She is weak, short of breath and increasingly wants to stay in bed all day. For the first time in a very long time, I am frightened. She called the Dr. this morning and he had her come in for blood work. All that seemed to be fine. They are sending her for another chest x-ray this afternoon. Last night I suggested that it might be time to start thinking about hospice. She seems so frustrated by how badly she is feeling and I am thinking that she might feel reassured if someone were coming by the house to check up on her. I think my father would certainly feel better. She didn't say much about the idea. My father tells me that she thinks she is dying and increasingly I think she may be right. She didn't say yes or no to hospice. I may have to call her oncologist to see what he thinks about it, but I think we may be coming to the day I have feared for the last 44 months. It certainly stinks being 500 miles away. Susan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted September 29, 2010 Share Posted September 29, 2010 Susan, Again, there are no words. You've both been on mind the last few days, close to my heart as well. Keep breathing and posting. Stephanie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted September 29, 2010 Author Share Posted September 29, 2010 Thanks Stephanie. I just talked to mom and they are going to drain fluid from her lungs tomorrow. Hopefully she will feel better when she can breathe. Susan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Susan, my heart goes out to you. If she didn't say no to Hospice, you are in good shape. My Mom was adamant that she did not want Hospice. She felt that if she "let" them in, it meant she was dying and not willing to fight. It's a mighty fine line when your loved one is feeling this way. How I finally convinced to accept their care, is when I said "Mom, Hospice does not come here because you're dying, they come to help you live more comfortably." And that is not a lie. She looked so surprised when I said that. Because her husband and daughter both died of cancer and had Hospice care she associated a negative connotation to them. She said yes to Hospice, and we set about getting her as comfortable as possible. I believe she lived her last 9 months because of the excellent care she got. I don't think she would have had that time without their help. She got the right combination of pain meds, which allowed her to do things she loved, like shopping, going to sewing classes, out to dinner and lunches. And I felt so grateful that I had that time with her. It must be so frustrating for you to live so far away. Helpless feelings. Don't feel guilty. Give her lots of phone time, mail her encouraging things, and Hospice care would be the best for her. Judy in MI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ts Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 Susan, Has she decided to forgo further treatment? Or is another round of chemo still on offer? I guess the x-ray results and her performance status will play into the decision, as well as her wishes. Just reading an interesting book with a second hand reference to a Buddhist teaching. When a thought is dragging you down, just let it go. Easier said than done, but something I strive to do regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 No words, just support as I remember that fear so well. Thinking of you and your Mama. Val Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatlemike Posted September 30, 2010 Share Posted September 30, 2010 You and your Mom are in my thoughts and prayers Susan. I hope draining the fluid helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fillise Posted October 1, 2010 Author Share Posted October 1, 2010 Thanks everyone. They drained a lot of fluid yesterday and she seems to be breathing better today although she is worn out from the procedure yesterday. She still seems to be determined to do the chemo week after next. I think I am going to try to be there when she has the chemo or just afterwards in case she needs me. I also want to talk with her Onc and maybe go talk to the hospice folks. I keep telling her I want to call so that she will live more comfortably. Judy, I'm going to tell her specifically about your mom's experience. Susan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joppette Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Susan, sending prayers your way that your Mom is open to the idea of quality of life, and that it may actually extend her life! ((((HUGS))))) Judy in MI Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dianew Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 Susan, am not sure how I missed this thread but I haven't been on line much lately. I can't imagine how hard it must be to be so far away from your Mom at this time. I am glad she is breathing better, and I will be keeping you and your Mom in my prayers. Diane Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jaminkw Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 No, no, no Susan, I hate to hear this. I've been offline a lot lately and for two days have been thinking "I need to pm Susan and see how her Mom is doing." I was planning on doing it before I got off this session when I found this in "View unread posts." It is understandable she felt really badly. I had a pleural effusion and the procedure to drain it and both are awful. Frankly, I'm not saying another word about this until we hear from you when she has her next chemo and you talk to her onc. Please keep us posted. Love and kisses to your Mom. Judy in KW Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mouse5 Posted October 8, 2010 Share Posted October 8, 2010 So sorry to hear that Susan. I know how hard it is to live away from your parents. I will be praying for your Mom, you and your family. Much love, Lisa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb73 Posted October 30, 2010 Share Posted October 30, 2010 Susan, Please forgive that I am just seeing this post now. My life has been so full of medical appointments that I have not been reading all the posts. I wanted you to know that Bill did live a comfortable hospice stay. He was not in pain, and his breathing was not compromised. It is reassuring to know that someone is on call to help when needed. That makes all the difference, I believe. Keeping you and your Mom in my thoughts, Barbara Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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