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I started a post but lost it. This computer has a tendancy to throw me off on to something else really easy.

All of my family have either gone back to school, work or both andI find myself with a lot of alone time on one of the days that I try to keep busy and not think.

Eight years ago today was the Friday after Thanksgiving, the day I call the Friday from hell and the beginning of the end of my life with Johnny. I can't talk to my family so I come here to this family that has supported me for so long. You understand what they never could because they haven't been there and because they could never understand my pain over the loss of someone they didn't know.

Just keep me in your thoughts please for the next 4 days and know that you are all always in my thoughts and prayers. Have a wonderful Christmas and holiday season. I will see most of you on Facebook.

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Hi Lilyjohn,

I enjoy reading all your posts,I am really sorry that this is a particularly bad time for you,keep you in mind for four days?hey, can do that standing on my head,of course I can.Hope this down feeling passes quickly,think we all have these moments,I always try to find alternative thoughts to squeese the down ones out of my head,why dont you go to the party upstairs,yeah the St Andrews one,Ill sing you a song or two,on second thoughts you might prefer feeling down LOL.

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Thanks everyone. I do try to keep busy but that is not always a cure as many of you know. The pain and memories are still there.

It is always hard dealing with these dates but this year there is more. Many years ago I found a hairdresser who has also been my friend, Just a few weeks ago for my grandson's wedding she cut and styled my hair. I always try to see her each year when I come for a visit. Her husband has been fighting lung cancer for several years. Last night I learned that he lost the battle, his funeral is today. Please say an extra prayer for Vickie and her family.

You know sometimes in the past I have said that the reason so many people stay away from the issue of lung cancer awareness and refuse to become envolved is because they are afraid that if they get too close it will some how seek them or a loved one out and attack. We all know how silly it is to think like that but lately I have been tempted to feel like that myself. Just a few weeks before I left to come here my friend Ida lost her husband Earl and now Vickie has lost her husband. Where most cancers seem to be subsiding lung cancer seems to be on the increase. With all of the people who have quit smoking and those who have been warned and not stopped you would think that people would finally start to see that there are other causes and get serious about seeking them out

Again thanks for you love and understanding. I still find it hard to believe that tomorrw it will be 8 years sense I lost the love of my life.

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My dear friend, Lillian. These days and this time of year bond us together so strongly. I know how terribly hard this time of year is for you...and for me. Sometimes, I can easily say that time helps to heal the woulds and then, there are times when I believe that time makes the wounds more painful. Every year seems to push us even further away from the days we spend with Johnny and Dennis...days we can never recapture. Two weeks from today will mark eight long years since I lost Dennis. Please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and in my heart.

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