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Tuesday's Air

Bud Baker

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Good morning, everyone!

It was 32 degrees as I rode to work this morning. Forecast high is 72, 40 degrees higher. That makes it a bit tough picking out which cycling clothes to wear.

I ended up with 420 miles on the bike in February. That's not a very good mileage month for me, but considering the bad weather early in the month, and my shin splints late in the month, I guess it's not that bad.

I should have made the long drive to lung cancer group after work yesterday, but I didn't. I did the same thing I've done every evening lately, soaked my left foot in warm water and epsom salts while elevating my right leg with an ice pack on my shin. I've gotten where I can read my email and surf the internet with no problem in that odd sitting position....LOL.

Congrats on the severance approval, Eric. Very nicely done on the blog article.

I'll look forward to all the new LUNGevity stuff, Katie. Have a great day, all!

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Half the day is gone and I just got to work. Had to go to court with mom - my nephew is going to be in detention until at least March 18th so they can do the mental assessments they think are necessary since he "tried to kill himself" twice in one week. The worst part for me is you can only visit him 2times a week. Very mentally upsetting.

Now I am at work trying to play catch up again but I wanted to check in on everyone. It is looking like a lot of people are taking vacations with Judy - - sure wish I could.


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Hello all,

Well it's another sunny, beautiful day here. But I woke up struggling a bit. So many huge changes in our lives, and I live in Faith, that all will be fine. But I'm human......and today I just laid in bed staring at the ceiling wondering. It's so weird to have my husband home during the day. I am praying for him to not get discouraged by all of this. It's tough.

When my volunteer job ended, it was so strange to not get up each day with a place to go and things to do. As the weeks have gone by, I feel a void. My email box used to be full of new requests, needs to be met. And now? Very little is happening.

It's all so very strange for me. So much change in such a short amount of time. And thinking about April, and wondering if IT'S back. While I do pretty good most days of not being fearful, those thoughts do come in and out. It can't be helped. I'm just a human, with human weaknesses and faults.

I think a big part of this right now is that most of this change happened right when I was beginning the start of one of the worst cold/flu illnesses I've ever had. I've been sick now almost 4 weeks. I'm still coughing so hard that my ribs feel bruised. The doctor says it will run it's course. But it has prevented me from starting a new life, with new circumstances. It's exhausted me. I require at least 10 hours of sleep a night, and feel like I need a nap in the afternoon!

And when I cough so hard, of course, April looms in the back of my mind.


I need to go find a good book to read. They always cheer me up. I just downloaded the book "Heaven is Real", and I think I'm going to sit down and read that. My girlfriend said it is amazing.

Annette, I'm so sorry about your nephew. I pray this will help him out. I pray they will get him the help he needs.

Katie and Eric, what great stuff at Lungevity. And Eric, you look so handsome on the front page with that great smile, and wonderful letter. You are inspiring.

Bud, trying to picture you with one foot in water and epsom salts, and the other leg elevated with ice, all the whilst balancing your lap top, is quite funny! Can Rose take a picture and share it with us? LOL

Ok, I'm going to go. Sorry to be such a pity party today.

Judy in MI

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What pity party - you are just telling your friends you are having a hard day - that's why we are here - to cheer you up - now where is that bottle of cheer - oh well it will have to be Dr. Pepper since I am at work - here's to MI Judy - may the cough get better and may April flowers bring the results we all need!

I was thinking at court today - that this stress about my nephew sure better go away in time for me to stress about my scan in Mid March - I have to have priorities in worrying - right - well I would gladly worry for Judy (both in fact) if someone will volunteer to worry about me. This could be a new club - kinda like our exercise club - we could just pass the worry around and give everyone a little bit of time off. Kinda like 100 bottles of beer on the wall - take one down and pass it around - 99 bottles of beer on the wall. We can all sing - 100 bottles of worry on the wall 100 bottles of worry - take one down and throw it on the ground 99 bottles of worry on the wall.....

Better wear shoes for this one I think - No Bruce not the ballerina slippers with the tutu.



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Good Evening All,

Another beautiful spring day,sunshine all the way,England was cold and overcast,excuse me while I exercise a little smug smile to myself,Tee-hee.

Well I formally received my contract of voluntary severance today,slight hiccup,it states last day of employment 24th June,I want to go at the end of April,we have been given 24 hours to sign the agreement,I cannot sign this,I discussed it with senior management briefly,who agreed that they would in my case be open to "Sympathetic Re-negociation"and that I can sign without prejudice.My HOD is the stumbling block,he wants to retain me until the end of term,at the time of my dx he did all he could to disencourage me to return,its dog in a manger time,knowing I want to go,he will do all he can to block me.I think he will end up with egg on his face,oh by the way,he refused to ask for voluntary severance,but management have told him he has to go,just shows what goes round,comes round.I had heard when his departure was first mooted his re-action was "They cannot want to get rid of me,after the work I have done for the college,unfortunately he is a legend in his own mind,oooh Eric that sounds a bit bitchy,anyone in my book who phones a newly dxd person with Lung Cancer,to tell them his replacement at work is doing a sterling job,takes his name off his office door,suggests he considers the advantages of taking early retirement through ill health,discourages his request to come into work to meet the staff and students,during chemo,with the words,I dont think its a good idea Eric,you will lower the staff and students morale,I think is a complete rotter and deserves all thats coming.Nuff said,sorry about that,you know me,Ive got to get everything off my chest.

Bud, from 32 degrees to 72 degrees in one day?amazing,then your legs one in hot, one in cold to match,what a situation to be in?.Thank you for your comments on my blog and severance,wishing you could get severance also,I know how you would enjoy the freedom,I feel a wee bit guilty sharing this with you,sorry buddy.

Katie B,what can I say? thank you so much,your choice of pic is much appreciated,I promise not to let this all go to my head,I am still happy to talk to the ordinary people here(if they will let me)Best wishes for the new look.

Annette,I am so sorry for your situation,wish I could do more for you,I promise to cheer you up when we meet in July,Washington DC?hey that would be great to share with you,wish it was 2nd July.

Hi Judy,Life is full of changes isnt it?,usually when we least expect them,I am shortly going to join Randy in being at home,how does one re-adjust?I have worked all my life,formally as a necessity to pay the bills,but now that has been taken away from me,no mortgage etc,enough coming in to be comfortable,and the realisation that money for me anyway,was not really the whole reason for working.I know I am lucky to be in my position,but I really have to find something new in my life to fill the gap.ITS back,something we know at the back of our minds is always a possibility of a return,and how we can face up to it,yes it does cross my mind,and I am sure most of us here.I have a real Christian friend,unlike me struggling to believe in a higher power,who watches over me,said to me at the time of my dx,if he were given the same,he would question his faith,this struck me as odd,I would have felt his feelings would have been the opposite?.Judy, I think you shouldnt even contemplate a possible return,it can undermine your wellbeing without just cause,as Jesus said dont worry about to-morrow there is enough in today to concern yourself with.I do hope after the next scan your feelings are groundless.

Goodnight everybody,missing you JudyKW and Libby,hope you both can drop a line.

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