David A Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 IDIOTS IN SERVICE: >> >> This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone >> repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 >> p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the >> pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we >> come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that >> since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report >> future outages by email. (Does YOUR email work without a telephone >> line?). >> >> IDIOTS AT WORK: >> >> I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk >> noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. >> She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless >> the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was >> necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. >> So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared >> the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck >> would have it, they matched. >> >> IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: >> >> I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the >> local township administrative office to request the removal of the >> Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being >> hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross there anymore. I could >> swear I've recently been with some of these people... >> >> IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: >> >> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked >> the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was >> sorry, but they only had iceberg. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING #1: >> >> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport >> employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your >> knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how >> would I know?" She smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING #2: >> >> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the >> street. I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked if I >> knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind >> people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth >> are blind people doing driving?" >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING #3: >> >> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving >> the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented >> cheerfully, "This is fun, we should do this more often." Not a word >> was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the- >> headlights stare. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING #4: >> >> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into >> itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system >> would not turn on. >> >> IDIOT SIGHTING #5: >> >> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up >> our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the >> service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock >> the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I >> instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was >> unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which >> he replied, "I know - I already got that side." >> >> Now don't you feel better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 It's amazing. These jokes were summited by the same man who thinks my Chihuahua is rat with hyperthroidism Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 DaveG - I might have to agree with DavidA on the Chihuahua......or at least my 60 lb Doberman/Rottweiler mix would think so! SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Sandy! Doberman/Rottweiler mix - THERE'S the missing eyebrows! I'll have to tell Fay.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David A Posted January 18, 2004 Author Share Posted January 18, 2004 thanks sandy, snow flake who asked you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 My Chihuahua may be small, but he'll lick anybody on the board. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 My dog, Houdini, a border collie-golden retriever mix is not a huge dog, but he's a pretty good size. He isn't afraid of anything.....except earthquakes and chihuahuas. Our neighbors raise the little dogs, and whenever someone walks Houdini by their house the little female Chihuahua runs across the front lawn and leaps onto Houdini's back and barks at him. He just stands there looking completely confused and scared to death. He doesn't turn around and look at the dog on his back, he looks at whoever is walking him as if to say "RESCUE ME FROM THIS MONSTER!" And there is this little Chihuahua, standing on his back and barking at Houdini non stop. Poor Dini-Dog. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 Gee, Fay....I feel sorry for Dini-Dog and the Wow-wa farm next door... Just be grateful you don't live next to a house that breeds Siamese cats....of course, who would want to live next door to a cat house, anyway? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 I thought Houdini was supposed to be an escape artist. Becky, if they ever built a cat house in your neighborhood, I have this picture of you being the Head Feline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 Dave, I've been practicing ever since "The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas"... Ya'll come back now, ya hear? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest DaveG Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 To David A: I bet you never thought these jokes would get this much reaction, or maybe we all identify and are idiots ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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