Guest DaveG Posted February 14, 2004 Share Posted February 14, 2004 > > > > > This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. > > The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting > loudly every morning when he awoke. > > The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and > make her gasp for air. > > Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it > was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was > perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that > one day he would blow his guts out. > > The years went by and he continued to rip them out! > > Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner > and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put > the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a > malicious thought came to her. > > She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep > and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic > waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his > shorts. > > Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting > which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic > footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. > > The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, > tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him > back pretty good. > > About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his > bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. > > She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. > > He said, "Honey, you were right." All these years you have warned me and I > didn't listen to you." > > "What do you mean?" asked his wife. > > "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, > and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and > these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in." > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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