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I can't sleep ; its 1:am and I should be sleeping! Its almost like I'm afraid to fall asleep I feel like I'm waiting for something bad to happen. He looks pale when he sleeps freiks me out!! The feeling is awful watching your loved one deteriate in front of your eyes! I look away and I forget until reality sets in .well that's all I'll try to sleep now have a busy day today. 

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@Michele I’ve been on both sides of this disease.  A caregiver for my father and a patient myself.  Being a caregiver is very difficult.  I’d argue almost as difficult as fighting the disease yourself from an emotional perspective.  That emotional stress causes physical stress.  Some suggestions.  Find someone to talk to.  A support group, therapist, psychiatrist.  Whatever you can find close by.  Find support for the caregiving part.   Family, friends or a home health care aide that can provide you with some time to do the mundane life chores that probably don’t feel important right now.  Reach out here like you did last night.  We get it  On a plane they tell you to put the oxygen on yourself before your kids because you won’t be able to care for anyone else if you’ve already passed out.  It’s the same in this situation.  Caring for yourself is caring for your husband.  I’m so sorry you are going through this.  Hang in there.   

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You are going through the hardest kind of hard. Lung cancer is a horrible disease and you are in the center of the worst horror. You'll need help from here on out.

Have you engaged home hospice? As you try and make your husband as comfortable as possible, you should also take care of yourself so you can be with him. The hospice folks can lift some of the caring burden so you can spend quality time together.

Stay the course.


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Tom right now we have home care.physical therapy to strengthen his arms and legs so he can get up himself and use walker. He didn't want hospice yet. I think he is in denial. Maybe I am too Idk! I will look into it. Thank you for being here for me

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