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Insanity

Feeling helpless

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My name is mary. 34 months ago I buried my husband of 33 yrs, he died from aggressive pancreatic cancer. Since then my childhood love came back into my life, coupled and limited with his own medical issues. So in many ways helping him has brought md back to life, in a way, he gave me purpose! Unfortunately,  he was diagnosed with Invasive Squamos cell carcinoma. Its wrapped around and squeezing his main fairways in his lung. A week and a half ago, I called 911 as he become incoherent and was retaining massive fluids. He was also supposed to start chemo and radiation the next day, that didnt happen. His left lung is full and infected. Hospital stay for a week, at one time they called me in to say good bye. But he made it!!!!

Yesterday, he was finally able to go for his first radiation!! FINALLY, I thought, let's get going!!!

Because of the covid, like everyone else, I'm not allowed in. So I went down to walmart while waiting for him to be done. Then he called. I asked if he was all done, but the hesitation made me think otherwise. I need you to get here, he said.  I left my half full cart of groceries at the door and flew up there! His whole left lung collapsed, and the dr said there is so much bacteria. He has a ct scan today at 3, but the way the dr was talking, there may be little to nothing that can be done at this point. 

He came home from the hospital with oxygen,  the cancer literally choking his airways. With all his other medical issues, I know what's coming. Just lost at this point, lost at what to do, what to say. He was first diagnosed at stage 3a, but that was a month ago, and things have changed dramatically.  Any advice? Any suggestions? Any hope?

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Insanity

 My heart breaks for the situation that you find yourself in. While I’m a lung cancer survivor I’m not sure what to tell you about your partner’s condition.  It appears that he suffers from a number of maladies and that can complicate any cancer treatments (surgical, chemical or radiation), along with the fear of giving treatments during this Covid19 pandemic. 
 

His condition surely appears precarious and it sounds as if the doctor cannot try any aggressive treatment at this time.  So the only advice I can give you is to talk with his oncologist/doctor and ask some questions:

 o what the prognosis is at this point?”

 o  what treatment might improve the prognosis and under what conditions could it be administered?

o if no treatment is given, what can you expect and when?

I wish there was more I could say but this is a difficult situation and you need to hear from his medical team.  

You’re in my prayers,

Lou

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Thank you lou!

At least this gives me something to ask. I appreciate it greatly 

I've written all the suggested questions down and will ask when we get there.

I congratulate you on your fight.

Thanks again!

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Hi Insanity.  I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband and that your partner is sick.  I'm not sure what to say or how to help but I just wanted to point you to more information so you can go in to the next appointment with as much as possible.  Here is Lung Caner 101: https://lungevity.org/for-patients-caregivers/lung-cancer-101  You can also find a list of questions to ask here: https://lungevity.org/for-patients-caregivers/asking-right-questions/questions-to-ask-your-healthcare-professionals 

 

If you or your partner needs support, the Lung Cancer HELPLine is available.  They offer assistance for everything from resources in your area, financial assistance, etc. https://lungevity.org/for-patients-caregivers/support-services/lung-cancer-helpline

Please keep us updated and let us know how you are both doing.  Thinking of you!

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Thank you so much Kristin.

I will check into the sites you've recommended.  So nice to have a direction. Again, thank you!!

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Thank you so much Kristin.

I will check into the sites you've recommended.  So nice to have a direction. Again, thank you!!

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Yesterday david had another scan. The treatment has changed. From 7 wk radiation and chemotherapy to a 10 day treatment. For his comfort, pallative care only. No other options available.  Hes in shock, I'm at a loss. I will have to bury another man that I love, taken by a disease so wicked. 6 months maybe, but that's another's time line.

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So sorry to hear this.  Some forms  of this disease are very difficult to treat and, unfortunately, your partner’s health already seems compromised, making treatment even harder.  I wish you had received better news, but having the truth is very important.  You will both remain in my prayers.  
Lou

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