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Mother Diagnosed With Stage 4 NSCLC, with Metastasis


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Hi everyone,


My mother is a 50-years old diagnosed with stage 4 non small cell lung cancer back in March 16th, 2022. It metastasis to the brain already when it was diagnosed, she had  procedure to remove the brain tumor. Now the doctor find that the cancer metastasis to the rib as well, and there is large amount of fluid around the heart. She now is going to do a procedure to drain the effusion around her heart. She got no luck on the targeted drug and have not started with chemo and radiation treatment yet to the lung.


My mother talked to me that she wants to give up, but the doctor told me that he think she can be benefit from the chemo and she should be able to tolerate it. Now I next to her and she's crying, I don't know what should I do. Should I just let her give up the treatment and let her be happy for the rest of the time, or should I convince her to do the treatment to see if there is a possiblity to extend her life?She is very affraid that the treatment will make her worst and makes she die in pain...



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Your mom is so young. Younger patients tolerate treatment well usually. Treatment can put many stage 4 people in remission, some for long term. Is there a medical reason to give up? What do her doctors say? Did targeted therapy fail? Did she try immunotherapy? Radiation? Many options for treatment that can be effective. Stay positive and keep hoping for a good outcome, it is possible!

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I was 49, when I had a similar diagnosis last August. Of course it is hugely anxiety-inducing, and it can all seem quite hopeless. But lung cancer is no longer an automotic death sentence - and there are many treatment routes. I haven’t had chemo myself, as I am on immunotherapy- but talking to fellow patients on chemo, it is rarely as harsh as what we all imagine (I suppose from movies, and people who had treatment decades ago). I had a very lengthy round of radiotherapy and while it was tiring, there was no pain and very little discomfort involved. So do try to help your mum understand that there is a lot of options and the horror scenarios are not too common anymore.

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Sorry your mum and you are going through this I know how hard it is as does everyone else who is dealing with cancer, I'm 51 and last August I was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer I had chemotherapy and radiotherapy which seemed to work on shrinking the tumor and lymph nodes, at the end of February this year I had a seizure and the Dr's found I had 2 brain mets which I had treated with gamma knife radiosurgery I'm now waiting for an MRI scan on my brain at the end of june and hopefully some good news, 

The chemotherapy isn't as bad as we all think and the radiotherapy doesn't hurt, you should encourage your mum to fight this disease and once she starts fighting she will feel better about it all, its very stressful and depressing times but you will both get through this, all the best 

Take care Justin 


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Before giving up, I would get a second--and third if necessary--opinion from a thoracic oncologist. I'm Stage IIIB, diagnosed at age 66 in October 2019. I've had chemo, radiation and am on a targeted therapy drug for my EGFR mutation. 

Chemo isn't as terrible as you might think. For me, radiation side effects were rough because the lymph nodes being treated were right on top of my esophagus. But those side effects were temporary and the treatments were highly effective on their own. 

Side effects can be managed by a variety of means, including palliative care. 

Ultimately the choice is your mother's, but it's vital to get all the information possible before making a decision to give up. Learn as much as you can from this site and the professionals. 

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