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looking for some support...


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Hi everyone. This post is SO not about cancer... but about life in general. Anyone familiar with my posts knows that my Dad was dx in Feb. with NSCLC, but is doing fairly well... (currently meeting with surgeons for op, on lung, and the chemo and radiation seem to be working really well). Besides that though, our family has had some rough times latley.

My father in law died very young (46), last Dec. from "who knows what for sure", they think he caught a rare virus, and died suddenly with no warning.

My soul companion, my favorite person ever, my great grandma died 3 months later.

My grandpa was dx with Lou Gherrigs disease 2 months after that, and died last Saturday.

My husbands grandmother was found lying on the kithcen floor last week, went in for hip replacement surgery Sat, and never came out of the anestheia. She is now in a coma, and they are taking her off all the machines as we speak.

How much can one person bear? My kids are so used to the idea of people dying that they dont even blink and eye anymore when I tell them that someone is sick or dying in my family (which, is sort of a blessing though)

My husbands family is down to him, his Mom, and his grandma who probably will die today. Thats it. I on the other hand have handfulls of family everywhere. I feel so sorrowfull for him, because he loves his family, and their all gone.

I dont know what exactly Im looking for here, no advice needed, guess I just need to vent. Is this fair? When my Daughter was born, she had 11 grandparents living, now she's down to 6, and one is about to be gone. I know they are extreemly lucky to have everyone they have had, but everyone seems to be dying.

I just realized that Im rambling, Im sorry, I guess Im just down.

Life isnt fair.

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I'm sorry about all the losses you have been experiencing Jamie. I just wanted to write to you to let you know that I know how you feel about your children having no family because that is how I feel about my daughter. I have a very small family to begin with. Now that my father has died, it is down to me, my brother, my mother and my aunt. My daughter has just us. She has no brother's or sister's. Her father doesn't want to be a part of her life, so she has no other aunts, uncles or cousins or another set of grandparents (even though he has two sisters, a niece and a son, so my daughter should have all these other people in her life, but doesn't). And, now, she had her Grandpa taken away from her. He who was her best friend and biggest fan and would have spoiled her rotten for the rest of her life (she'll only be 3 in July), and she'll have no memories of him (he lived with us, so she saw him every day). It's all very sad, and I feel saddest for her. My family has been the only thing in this world that I ever really cared about and when they're gone, it will just be me and my daughter. When I found out I was pregnant and going to be a single mother, it was so much easier knowing that my Dad was around and that she would at least have a Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle who lover her very much. Now that her Grandpa is gone, the reality of what she really has hit hard and it's sad. Also, I moved away from the state I grew up in last year and left all of my close friends and their children who my daughter would have been close to as Aunt's, Uncle's and Cousins. Now she doesn't even have that. I too, don't really know what I am trying to say here, I just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in your feelings.

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Jamie, as you know, dying is part of life here on earth. Unfortunately, you and your family are getting bombarded with it right now, and that is pretty heavy. You can keep the memories of these people who have gone alive for yourself and your children by sharing good times in the past. And be thankful for the time you did have with these people. I never knew any of my grandparents and both my parents died when I was in my early 20's. Yet I know a lot about them through shared memories. Best to you all. Don

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Jamie, don't know your age but when I was in my middle 30's, I had 6 family members pass within 12 to 15 months which included my mom and dad. We lived at the funeral home every 2 1/2 months.

As Don said, this is life. Take a deep breath and know it will reverse and everything will be good for some time too.

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Jamie, I am sorry for your losses and can definatly relate.

I have four children who like yours at such a young age have became

use to death like its a everday occurance. Just in the past 2 years I

have lost my mother, three aunts , two uncles, A friends 4 year old

son was struck and killed by lighting, The story of the boy who from

New york college who committed suicide by jumping from the library

was a good friend of my family, two neighbors and even my dog Baylee.

On top of the deaths in the past year my sister was diagnosed with a

heart condition, a brother was diagnosed with cirosis of liver and

congestive heart failure, my great neice Veronica only 3 was diagnosed

with the worst type of juvinille diabetes then my husband just had a

cancer scare . I can so relate to the frustration and feeling of what next.

I about lost it when my husband became ill for he has been my rock

and support with everything else. I could not amagine him not being

there for me. Luckily with hubby it was only a cyst / infection.

my thoughts are with you, Haylee

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Jaimie - Sometimes life just stinks. It seems the older we get, the more people we know pass away - and of course it makes sense cos if we are getting older, so are they. Its funny because I was just saying to my mom today how I would give anything to go back in time when no one was sick, we were all together and healthy - not a care in the world and too dumb to know how good we had it!!! I don't know what I can say to make you feel better - you have been dealt an incredible hand in the recent past and you have every reason to vent and be angry, I would be too. But, you also have beautiful children who will see you through all of this. I am sorry for your loss. Sharon

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Just want to say thanks to everyone for all their kind words. Re-reading my post from yesterday, I feel kind of foolish for putting more weight than nessessary on everyone. I feel much better today, yesterday I guess I was in a funk.

Agian, thanks for listening to my blah, blah, blah. Its nice to know people care enough to post back to my blubbering.


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You have lovely children--it's a great picture. Just remember that your kids will get you through all the tough times. I think of you every day and send wishes for all things good for you and yours. You have been through so much, but you are so strong.



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