mouse71 Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 First off, I want to say a quick Hello to all of you! I've been reading through the boards since early January and just never had the time to post. Things around our house went so quick. I don't know how to make my story short, but I will try. My husband and I found out we were having a baby last spring and we were both so delighted (my second and his first). Well, after I had my triple screen test, the doctors thought something might be wrong with the baby, so we were sent to a bigger hospital to get a level 2 ultrasound done. Well, at that point the doctors discovered that what they had originally thought was wrong with the baby wasn't (Thank Goodness) but they detected something was wrong with his heart. So, from then on, we had to travel 125 miles one way for fetal echocardiograms up until the baby was born. Ok...my hubby had been having headaches from like August on, but he didn't want to go to the doctor, he kept saying, let's get the baby here and then I will go and get myself all checked out. I tried to get him to go but he was adament about waiting until Bryce got here. Well, beings we were traveling so far, we had our induction scheduled and Nathanial Bryce was born Dec. 22nd, 2003. The day we were to leave to go home my hubby woke up throwing up and could not walk a straight line. So, needless to say, I ran out of the room and got my nurse and she called someone for a wheelchair and he was wheeled down to the ER. That was at 4:00 in the morning. I didn't hear from him again until 9:30 when he called and told me that they had done a CT scan on him and found 2 brain tumors. Then they also scanned down and discovered a spot on his left lung. Shortly after that, he showed back up in my room. We went for a walk and just talked and cried and cried some more. Why us? It just didn't seem fair. Here we were, just had a baby and then this horrible news? But we were determined to fight it .... TOGHETHER! Well, before we went home, hubby was sent home on Decadron, that seemed to help with the headaches, but it is a horrible medicine. What are you gonna do though, he needed to be on it. From there we had our appointments to line up. We met with the Neurologist and he thought hubby was a perfect candidate for the Gamma Knife procedure. But before that was definitely decided, we had to meet with the lung specialist. Well, the lung surgeon sure painted a pretty picture. He just kept telling my hubby, "I can go in there, take your left lung out, get whatever lymphnodes might have been affected and before too long you'll be chasing that baby around" So, of course, hubby grabbed at that picture...and so did I. He just kept saying over and over again, "you'll be chasing that baby around soon". So, hubby had the Gamma Knife procedure done on Jan 26, it went very well! And then he had another appt with the lung doctor while he was in the hospital for the Gamma Knife. Well, the lung doctor had mentioned that he may need some chemo or radiation first, so we were waiting on that. But then all of a sudden, the lung doctor went ahead and said, no we don't need to do the chemo / radiation, "I'll give you 2 weeks after the Gamma and then I'll go in and take that lung out and you'll be chasing that baby around before you know it". Well, hubby went in for the lung surgery on Feb. 9th. He stayed in the hospital 4 days. When he got home, I noticed that it was not healing like it should have...pussing alot. So, he went to our family doctor and they did cultures on it and come to find out he had a staph infection. So, our family doctor told him that he needed to go see his surgeon. Well, hubby made an appointment to see his surgeon and his surgeon decided to go back in and open him all the way back up to clean up that staph infection. And when he was done, they left a huge hole in his back (bigger than a fist) and hubby had home health nurses coming 2x's a day to pack it with kerlex (sp) and saline solution. Well, needless to say, my dear dear husband passed away on March 25, 2004. 7 days after his last surgery. They sent him home from the second surgery with MRSA. He died at a hospital closer to home. By the time he got to that hospital, the doctor there told me that his body had already started to shut down. I miss him so much and not sure how I'm ever going to manage. I just think it is so damn unfair. Here he had his first baby, a little boy and he couldn't even take care of him. He was in and out of the hospital so damn much and so damn sick all the time. I think if hubby was told the "BIGGER" PICTURE in the beginning things would have been alot different. Even if he would have only lived 3 months, maybe they would have been better quality if no surgery was done. It's just really hard for me since fathers day is Sunday and dear hubby's birthday is at the end of the month. My husband was only 36 years old. And now I have to try and figure out how to let my son know just how much his daddy loved him through pictures. If anyone has any words of advice for me, I would greatly appreciate it. You may email me at amouseinyourhouse@yahoo.com Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest HerSon Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 Wow, that sure was a sad story. I can just imagine how painful it must be for you. Just remember that we are all on here to help you get through this, so please come here whenever you need to talk to someone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 Way too much sadness, especially for a new mother. When my husband was first dx'd, we were in such a state of shock, we did whatever the drs. said. We knew that time was important and we didn't want to waste any and really didn't know how to waste it anyway. What happened to your husband is tragic. And unfortunately, nothing will change this. But you have this beautiful baby that carries on his father's heritage. Keep his memory alive for his son. Take care of yourself. Come here as often as you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
char1048 Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 Oh what a sad story, I am truely sorry for your lose and your sons lose, your husband was so young. You just keep his memory a live for your son through pictures. Prayers go out to you and your son. Charolette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 I am so sorry this has happened to all of you. I don't know anything that could make it better. Thank goodness he had time to have his son and thank goodness you are still there to be the baby's Mom. I will pray for comfort and ease for you as time goes by. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneBurris Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Dear Mouse, That was such a heart-wrenching story. You asked for advice, of which I don't have much that's going to help, nothing will seem to help you right away. However, the responsibility of taking care of a baby as you know is a big one and can be overwhelming. Not having your husband there to help will of course be difficult. Do you have any friends that will volunteer to help out once in a while? Do you belong to a church? I know the girlfriends I have at church are always so willing to help other girls/ladies - especially for those in grief and need. I'll say a pray for you now. Much love, anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnneBurris Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 Dear Mouse, That was such a heart-wrenching story. You asked for advice, of which I don't have much that's going to help, nothing will seem to help you right away. However, the responsibility of taking care of a baby as you know is a big one and can be overwhelming. Not having your husband there to help will of course be difficult. Do you have any friends that will volunteer to help out once in a while? Do you belong to a church? I know the girlfriends I have at church are always so willing to help other girls/ladies - especially for those in grief and need. I'll say a pray for you now. Much love, anne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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