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Signs of Aging


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Signs You've Grown Up

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next

door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.

14. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

15. You no longer take naps from noonto 6 PM.

16. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of


17. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."

18. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

19. You read this entire list looking desperately for just one sign

that doesn't apply to you, but you can't find a single one to save your

sorry old butt.

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I gave up when I heard Hendrix' "Purple Haze" done by the elevator music people in the grocery store one evening.

I figured now I'd heard EVERYTHING... lol...


Then all the really good TV commercials have all this counterculture rock... from when I was a .... younger.... woman... lol...

The stuff that sells expensive cars to decadent middle aged executives...


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