lilyjohn Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Each day I see more people join us here. I watch and read as they are in shock and so frightened because they don't know what to expect. It is very hard to be a caregiver and so much harder when the one with cancer is your loved one. Several months ago I posted a message about some of the emotional side effects that we as caregivers face. Because of all of the new people here I think it bears repeating. I hope those of you who read it before don't mind that I repost it here. Lillian I have a message for those of you who are new here. There are some things that you need to know as you embark upon this journy known as lung cancer. This will be the hardest battle that you will ever fight. It takes so much from you. It will make you cry in pain and fear as well as frustration. It will make you curse fate and at times even God. Your heart will be broken over and over. Many times you will feel like you are alone in this world and no one understands. Especially if your battle ends as mine did in far too short a time. Fortunatly you have found this board. I was not so lucky at the time I fought the battle with my Johnny. You will find so many caring and loving people here. Lung cancer takes it's toll quickly and long term for those of us who travel this road of fear, pain and uncertainty. It will take everything you are and have. Just when you think that you have no more to give it will demand more. You will find out then that you can reach down into the depths of yourself and find more to give. There is also a lot that you will recieve without even knowing it for a very long time. You will learn the depth and power of love. You will find a side of yourself that you never knew existed. You will experience love in every way from pain to the most high reaches of it's glory. You will be forced to learn patience and many times your patience will be tried. You will find a faith in God or whoever you believe in that is the strongest it has ever been. Often without realizing it you will find yourself either thanking God or begging him for help. Never again will you see someone in pain either physical or emotional and turn away. The depth of your compassion will amaze you. You will know other peoples pain and they will know yours. All of your beliefs will be tested and many will change. If and when the battle is lost you will find a belief in another life. There is no other way that you can go through these times without learning so many things. Cancer is a mean and nasty demon. It offen strikes when life is finally going your way and giving you what you have worked and hoped for all of your life. The person who has cancer will go through many stages both physical and emotional. You will be taken along for the ride. There will be times you want to stop and get off but the rollercoaster is moving far too fast. I have suffered much pain because of lung cancer and what it cost me with the death of both my mother and the love of my life. I will never be the same person I was just a few short years ago. In many ways that is hard to accept but in many others it makes me proud to see the person that I have become. We question fate and God but I have come to believe that we are given this road to make us grow. To what purpose who knows? Ours is to accept and maybe in time we will know the answers. God Bless each and every one of you. The road ahead may be long and frightening but it is a road that you will go down and someday the end of your road will be appearant. Always remember you are not alone. God is with you and even if you do not believe in God know that there are many of us here who have been or are where you are going. Together our burdons will be lighter than they would have been otherwise. Remember to stay positive and above all remember that love is the one thing that this disease doesn't destroy instead it makes you so much more aware of it's existance. Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted July 16, 2004 Share Posted July 16, 2004 Lillian, I vividly remember what you posted about caregivers awhile back. I printed it out and put it on my refridgerator and had many people read it. It was EXACTLY how it was for me. Thank you for putting into words what I could not! Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S. Jane Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Thank you for that. As I have tears in my eyes so glad that someone put into words my fears, hopes and feelings. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tess Posted July 17, 2004 Share Posted July 17, 2004 Lillyjohn, You are so right. I have found a strength within myself that I never knew existed. We both have prayed for God to take the pain away and now Rob is ready to meet his maker. My husband is now on his deathbed and its so hard to watch. I love him so much, and I will do anything I can to help him until God takes him from me. It is so hard to let go, but I know he will be happy again when God takes him. May God Bless You so much. Tess Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted July 18, 2004 Share Posted July 18, 2004 Lilyjohn~ Thank you. Nancy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted July 19, 2004 Share Posted July 19, 2004 Lillian....thanks for once again posting these oh-so-true words. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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