angelb Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 I know I probably sound like a crybaby, but I just cant help they way I feel. I was talking to my mom earlier this week. She made the comment that Monday was 8 weeks since my s-dad's passing, and that we only knew for 8 weeks before that, that he was sick.. It just amazes me how much your life can be turned upside down in as little as 16 weeks. I miss him so much, my heart hurts. SOmetimes I will be on my way home from work (Being in the car to and from is my only "alone" time) and there will always be a song that makes me cry becuase I can see him in the picture the song paints. I guess I have moved on a bit, becuase my life is so hectic with a husband and two little girls, plenty of distractions helps me. I worry about my mom.. she is alone, not only in the house, but in the state! She is over 500 miles away, and I cant just go to her house when she needs a hug. I do take relef in the fact that she will cry with me on the phone. I may not be able to be physically there, but I am in spirit and she knows that. She tells me numerous times that my calling her (Almost every day) is helping her. We have changed forever because of this monster. I am much more sensitive to things I took for granted before, It put my life in order of whats really important to me. But I would trade it all if he could come back, even just for a minute to let us know he is ok, and happy and painfree, just for one second even, however.....I know this is not possible. And this makes me very very sad. I just miss him so much for myself but mostly for my mom, her pain is so very visible now, even though I have not seen her since June. I just hate this. Cancer sucks. I just needed to get that out , since my husband is not used to me being a blubbering baby, he really just doesnt understand. I just miss him, and his dancing blue eyes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoniRobertWilson Posted July 22, 2004 Share Posted July 22, 2004 It is amazing how quickly our lives change isn't it? 16 weeks is such a short time, too short. I am sorry for your loss. I'm sure it is difficult being away from your mom but don't feel like you're not helping - some of the most comfort I get is over the phone because people aren't looking at me....weird I know but it's true. Your mom is lucky to have someone that she still cry with. Unfortunately some people don't want to hear anyone else's grief. Good child. Bless your heart and your moms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilyjohn Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 Bless you for being there for your mom. You are doing all that you can for her. Believe me when I say that the place she is in now is a place where no one else can go with her. Give her love and support and let her know that you care. More than anything when she wants to talk about your dad listen. It is when people won't talk about your loss or act like they never existed that the pain becomes even more unbearable. Lillian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 I felt so sad reading your post. I do understand as my Brother has been gone now about 6 weeks. He had a short battle too. Be there as much as you can for your Mom and it sounds like you are. God Bless You All, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shirleyb Posted July 23, 2004 Share Posted July 23, 2004 Angela, I am so sorry for the sadness and pain that both you and your mother have after losing your father. It is a blessing for her that you both can talk about him and cry with each other. It still amazes me how fast life can change in just a matter of minutes. I know for me it has taken time and acceptance to come to grips with the changes that have happened in my life. I know the time will EASE the pain but it will never go away completely. In accepting that, it has helped me to be able to remember the good times too. Jane posted something a while back about always loving her first husband. I feel that way about my dad and my husband too. I will always love them and I will forever miss them. You are both in my prayers. shirleyb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimd Posted July 29, 2004 Share Posted July 29, 2004 Angel: Just read your post and I can truly relate. I, like you, think of my dad when alone in the car and hear a song that reminds me of him. I think of him other times, too but it seems like music makes the emotions run stronger -- maybe because of my dad's love of music. I hope you can also laugh and remember the special things your dad did for you and the times he did silly things and made you laugh. I keep a picture of my dad in my purse with me all the time and have him on my fridge to smile at me each day. My dad has been gone four months now and I don't think I'll ever miss him any less. If you're like me, you won't be on the board daily like you used to, but it helps me to come here and give others hope and comfort. I call my mom daily and you are truly helping your mom by doing the same. God Bless you and your family! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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