Elaine Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I promised Bruce a Dolly Pardon Joke and this is the best I could do: I'm almost certain Bruce said he worked at Toys R Us, didn't he???? Reasons For Being Fired From Toys 'R' Us 15. A little too much joie de vivre while demonstrating the erector set, if you know what I mean. 14. Every time you're passed over for a promotion, you stick your head in an Easy Bake Oven and threaten to "end it all." 13. You got caught adding a garage to your house using embezzled Lego bricks. 12. Numerous parental complaints about your "Tickle Me Bruce The Stock boy" display. 11. You went overboard with your GI Joe Militia display by adding the Tonka truck full of fertilizer. 10. Cross-dressing the Ken and Barbie dolls and telling kids they're the new "Jerry Springer" edition. 9. The "My Little Taxidermy Kit" (with starter squirrel) is not selling. 8. Impromptu demonstrations of why Malibu Ken is not anatomically correct. 7. Got caught doing your Dolly Parton impression with basketballs again. 6. Source of reefer smoke finally traced to "nostrils" of Geoffrey the Giraffe. 5. Jaws of life needed to pull your knees out of your chest after you jackknifed a Big Wheel. 4. Caught hocking phlegm into tykes' hands and telling them it was "homemade Gack." 3. Your sales display, "Barbie's Struggle for Survival in Post-Nuclear Holocaust Malibu" was not exactly an overwhelming success. 2. Too many reports from people who swear they saw Geoffrey the Giraffe in a leather bar. 1. Regardless of the question, you answer, "Bite me, kid -- I'm on break." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I think you got 'em Elaine. HEHE! Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Elaine,Elaine,Elaine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted August 23, 2004 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Frank-- I know that when you are speechless over one of my jokes that it means we get LOTS of points!!!!! Yippee!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Good one Elaine I don't remember where Bruce works..I am still reeling from earlier on another forum where you asked him for a picture of himself in a pair of speedos...... have you never heard that expression, be careful what you wish for??? Next you'll be asking for a picture of FRANK in a tutu... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 ????? What are speedos and tu-tus.Do they have them in Pennsylvania ?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Ok ladies. I felt down yesterday but you are making me laugh too fast. Laughing so hard now I might not make it to Chat tomorrow night. Has anyone told you that you are the best? I didn't think so. Guess I can tell you now... YOU ARE THE BEST. Frank the question should be ...DO THEY HAVE THEM IN OK. They don't have indoor toilets ya know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 BTW. The reason I am laughing so hard is that I don't work at Toys "R" Us. I used to work at an all girls college but quit after dx. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted August 24, 2004 Author Share Posted August 24, 2004 Bruce: Bruce--Never take me literally, OK? lol. I mean even I know they don't have TOYSRUS in the boonies!!!! Sheesh and I thought you were laughing at my clever insertion of your name--(I typed your name out painstakingly) into number 12 on the list!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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