Hope Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 My sisters and I went through my mom's things and kept some that reminded us of her. Each of us also took a few things that we wanted to have to use, and then we gave the rest to Goodwill. I took an organizer purse so that I could put toiletries in it when I go camping. After returning from camping last night, I began to put away the toiletries. I found her comb in one of the pockets. It had been there all along, tucked quietly inside. I just didn't notice it. The "wave" (such a good analogy) really washed over me as I remember how she combed her hair with that exact comb. It is hard. Hope Mom dx with sclc limited stage 0l/02 5 months chemo (carboplatin & etoposide), radiation, no pci 06/03 Recurrance found with follow up c/t, chemo (carboplatin & etoposide) began then stopped due to severe reaction 07/03 pet scan concurred ca in sternum 09/03 ct shows ca spread 09/03 Three 28-day cycles of cisplatinum & cpt-ll 12/03 some tumors responding, began 2 more 28 day cycles cisplatinum & cpt-ll 02/04 No growth, no reduction of tumors. Onc decided on a 4 week rest period to be followed by CT. 03/04 CT shows growth and additonal tumor in renal gland. Decided on l/2 dosage of cisplatinum and cpt-ll. Has severe reaction to chemo and has a seizure. Onc says we will now try Taxol or Gemzar. 04/04 Seizure was possibly caused by chemotherapeutic neurotoxicity. Onc is reconsidering future chemotherapy. 04/04 Hospitalized. Running tests to determine current staging. 05/04 Difficulty breathing, placed on home oxygen. Discusses administering chemo to relieve symptoms. 06/01/04 Began administration of Topotecan. Hospitalized 5 days for pnuemonia. 06/08/04 Second round of Topotecan. Tolerated well. 06/09/04 Became disoriented, extremely short of breath. Taken to ICU, placed on bi-pap machine. 06/l5/04 Received in Heaven, 5am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 It is hard, and yet someday - not today - that comb will be a source of comfort for you and not a source of pain. Keep on plugging. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TeeTaa Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Isn't it odd how something so seemingly insignificant as a comb can bring on that reaction? Whether you like it or not, and whether other people think you're nuts or not , you'll always have a special attachment to that comb. But that's a good thing . . . Praying for us all, TeeTaa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eileen Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Hope I am so sorry for you pain---when my Mom died (many years ago) I was going through her wallet and just seeing her coins in her change purse made me hysterical---and I am sure others on here have had the same experience--- Just know, that although you cannot see or feel it now, and you will always miss your Mom, the pain does ease a little with time-- regards Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 I understand exactly what you mean. My mother died 11 years ago. After Dad died last month, we started going through accumulated junk, and I came across old clothes of Mom's that Dad had stored for some reason. I felt an intense wave of emotion and just stood still for awhile enjoying memory flashes of Mom wearing that blouse. I could hear her laugh, I could feel her hug, I could smell her unique smell. I closed my eyes and it felt like she was standing right next to me. Although there were tears running down my face, I felt joy at that connection to Mom. Still miss her intensely. Still love her with all my heart. Still carry her with me every day. Enjoy those bittersweet moments. As Curtis said, soon those moments and that comb will be a wonderful touchstone for you. Pam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted September 21, 2004 Share Posted September 21, 2004 Isn't is something how such a small thing as a comb can bring back so many memories and emotions. I seem to go through this so very often. Dennis had so many things around the house and many of them I need and use. Still, when I pick up something of his, I start to have this flood of things running through my mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.