Hebbie Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Just some random things I have been thinking of/observing... Random Observation #1 ~ I have noticed since diagnoses that some of the smokers in my office actually avoid eye contact with me if I pass them while they are outside smoking. It seems to be reaching it's peak right now, however, since I posted a notice of my upcoming lung cancer benefit walk at work. I just passed a co-worker that I am friendly with, and actually sat next to at the time of my diagnoses. She was in the lobby, heading out to the smoking side of the building, cigs and lighter in hand, and as I passed her and smiled, she just kind of put her head down and mumbled "hi" as she passed. I find it amusing yet sad that I can make them feel shame, but they still proceed out the exit door into the cloud of smoke that surrounds that side of the building. Random Thought #2 ~ I realized that prior to diagnoses, I would occasionally feel a "hot" sensation in my mid back, usually noticed it when I was driving in the car. I would feel like my back was heating up and sometimes I would even feel my car seat to see if it was the car and not me!!! What is odd is that I realized that I have NOT had that sensation since surgery!!! I've never heard of anyone else having that and wondered if it was somehow relating to my body's reaction to the cancer. Anyone else experience that? Random Thought #3 ~ I also realized that for about 2 years prior to diagnoses, I could not lay on my right side because I would get a pain in my EAR! (Ever lay on one side to long and wake up with an achy ear?) I used to get an achy ear if I laid on my right side more than 10 minutes. I had been to several doctors, a few who drained a little wax from the ear, but had no explanation for the pain. Even saw an ear/nose/throat guy who had no clue. No medical explanation for the pain. Well -- I noticed about 2 weeks after lung surgery that the pain was GONE. And I haven't had it since. Huh. Thanks for listening to my ramblings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kim Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Heather, I confess, I'm an avid rambler too! I think the people at your job are fighting their own demons right now. Maybe you are one of God's tools to wake these people up to the fact that they could be YOU, and going through this horrible situation. Hopefully they will wake up and stop smoking! I think what you are doing at work is wonderful! I bowl every Tues. in a somewhat smokey bowling alley and I wear my ALCASE hope baseball cap in hopes that it will wake some of them up! Keep up the fight! Prayers and Blessing to all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 My two cents. Everyone who smokes knows they shouldn't smoke. Anyone beyond their mid to late twenties probably think that the possibility of dying from smoking exists. (The very young often feel invincible). It is an addiction. I doubt the presence of Heather or Kim's hat is going to stop an addicted person from smoking. I don't mean this to sound mean-spirited. As those of us who have rasied children know, guilt and shame do not change behavior in a postive way. Guilt and shame do change behavior, however. In your example, the people avoid you or looking into your eyes. It has not stopped them from smoking. If you have friends who smoke, and if you care about them, let them know that you will do anything you can to support their efforts to quit because you don't want them to face what you have faced. None of these smokers wish to do you harm nor do they wish to be looked down on. People are human and do stupid human things. Some of us do more stupid things than others. elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Heather, on your random thought # 3. My mom complained of ear pain for around a year prior to diagnosis. This carried on with her until she passed away. The doctors did not seem concerned with this and told her it was just a wax build up. But my brother who has been a nurse 25+ years tried cleaning her ear { right ear } and there was very little wax. Nothing was ever done to help her with the discomfort she just learned to accept it was there and not leaving. I along with my brother felt there was a connection with the lc and ear discomfort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 1. They're addicts. 2. Yep....hot spots correlating to locations where tumors were found at diagnosis. Hot spots in locations where recurrent disease has been found. I hate those hot spots.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted September 24, 2004 Share Posted September 24, 2004 Heather is your company large? Maybe they could sponsor a quit smoking clinic at the workplace. It is easier for people to quit smoking if they have a support group. Maybe this could be in conjunction with the lc walk! Just one way that things could be so that no one has to avoid anyone's eyes and so that you will feel like you helped (and you might be subjected to less second hand smoke!) love and fortitude elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hebbie Posted September 25, 2004 Author Share Posted September 25, 2004 That's not a bad idea Elaine -- thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted September 26, 2004 Share Posted September 26, 2004 Heather, Your observation about people who know you and continue to smoke rings a bell with me. I was a smoker, and stood outside freezing and boiling and puffing away with the other smokers in my building. We were kind of a little gang, and when I first started having my problems, I wasn't smoking anymore. Some of my smoking friends came by my office and gave me a hug and said they were glad that it was caught early and wished me the best. Some of them, and I know they knew about it, still have not even inquired, despite the fact that I had surgery and chemo and worked throughout the whole thing, and a year and a half has gone by. It's ok--I know they aren't bad people, I just know that they are addicted and certainly don't want cancer, so they stick their heads in the sand and hope they never have to face what we did. Not acknowledging what happened to me I think makes it like it didn't happen in their minds. I still care about them, and wish for my carefree attitude back. But, the very best thing that came from this whole disaster, is that I don't smoke anymore. My therapist said early on with all of this that maybe God gave me this because it was the only way I would quit smoking and now that I have, I can have a better life. I don't know-- That hot spot thing--the only thing I noticed as a kind of vague ache under my shoulder blade--which I just passed off as a muscle thing--and it still might not have had anything to do with the tumor, but that's where I think my tumor was--upper left lobe--upper apex. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted September 27, 2004 Share Posted September 27, 2004 Elaine-- Great idea! I've never smoked--but from so many of my friends I have heard how hard it is to quit. I'm sure when work is stressful, it is even harder... Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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