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Another recurrence, another call to Mom and Dad

Susan Cornett

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I've said it before and I'll say it again:  cancer can be as hard, if not harder, on the loved ones than the patients.  Our family is very close  - I don't have any siblings and my husband and I don't have children.  Our family unit is small.  After 2.5 years, my husband and I have a process.  He goes with me to all of my scan result appointments.  As soon as Super Doc gives us the results, Neal steps out and texts or calls my parents with the updates.  I always want to be with them if we have to give them bad news. My parents live 4 hours away; otherwise, I think they'd crowd into the exam room with us.

Although we had to give them bad news a couple of weeks ago, we actually had something in our favor.  A lifelong friend of mine was visiting with them on the way to take her daughter to tour a college.  She was able to keep my parents somewhat balanced this time.  I'd been preparing them for the results - figured this was coming.  But no one wants to have to call their parents and tell them the cancer is back.  Stupid cancer.



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Susan,

I totally agree that explaining and discussing this with our parents is one of the most difficult parts of the process. I see the pain in their eyes and feel so badly to be putting them through all the worry. No matter how we say it, they will be scared...I don't blame them as I would feel the same if it were my children.

What is super doc's plan for treating this recurrence?

 

Best,

 

Ro

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Susan,

SBRT is good stuff. It fried my non-cooperating tumor and resulted in my long tenured NED. I've done a lot of reading on the Abscopal Effect and this is reflective of what I've learned. We both share NSCLC that is resistant to targeted therapy and perhaps even immunotherapy, but my chemo-resistant tumor stopped growing and spreading after but three - 15 minute treatments by CyberKnife in early 2007.  I've had quarterly, then bi-annual scans since and all have been NED.

Tell super rad-doc to lock and load and blast that son of a b&#*& into scar tissue!

Stay the course.

Tom

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The logical part of my brain knows the SBRT is the way to go.  In addition to the article you shared, I found a lot of great articles about it; very promising.  But today is one of those days - I'm tired/anxious/frustrated/done with cancer and have spent the day in tears.  The last couple of weeks have been stressful with appointments and scans and waiting.  Just ready to get this treatment under my belt and get out of my own head!  

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Susan,

I often think about how things might be if the roles were reversed and I was the cancer patient, not my mom.  I always wish that I could be the one who had gotten cancer, not my mom. She has enough to deal with with all of her other medical issues and taking care of my dad.  But then I really think that my mom would probably worry even more if her only child were the one with cancer.  I couldn't even imagine having to tell my parents that I have cancer.  You are a brave woman to not only confront your battle head on, but also to try to soften the blow for your parents.  And it sounds like you are lucky to have Neil!  I have a very small family too - no siblings or children either.  It's pretty much just my parents and I (my husband isn't as supportive!).  I understand the stress that comes with a small family unit and how we try to soften the blow for any type of bad news.  I am so sorry you are having to battle this recurrence and I am as equally as sorry that you had the stress of sharing your news with your parents.  Sometimes I don't know which is worse.  

I hope that your treatment begins quickly so you can get this bout done and over with!  I am thinking of you and your family, sending hugs and awaiting to start my happy dance for you.

Take Care,

Steff

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Yes. I have put my daughter in charge of giving medical updates to the family. I've often said that telling the family is as difficult as getting the news yourself. 

Judy M. 

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Susan,

I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner as I would have responded right away. So happy to hear that today is a better day. I hope that the treatment starts as soon as possible and completely understand your frustration and feelings of anxiety. Here's to many more sunrises and sunsets ahead!!

 

Ro

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