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Patkid

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Posts posted by Patkid

  1. Today it is 3 years since Brian died.

    I don't feel any different.

    It still feels like it did when he died.

    I continue to work, to pray and to try to live, but it is not real w/out him.

    I miss him like fire.

    Unlike many others I have not been able to move on.

    He was so so so so so so much a part of me.

    My prayers are with all of you/us.

    I never forget those who saw me through the months of Brian's battle and I never don't appreciate each of you.

    much love and many hugs

    Pat

  2. Don,

    Brian always had me read your posts to him.

    He once said: "Don and I would be great friends".

    We respect you and your attitude and came to love you as family.

    My faithful prayer is that you have lots of time to relish this chapter and live it to the fullest as you have lived every previous chapter of this journey.

    May our God hold you close and may you find joy and laughter and peace in your new room.

    Many hugs

    Pat

  3. Hi, Honey,

    and so many hugs coming your way.

    I am not surprised to read any of this and it is reaffirming to know that your 'specialness' is so appreciated.

    Much love to you and to all

    P

  4. I knew the date, Ginny, I came back to remind you that I love you and I care.

    I am glad that your life, today, is good. I so understand that even though it is good, it is truly missing a very important part.

    Many hugs

    Pat

  5. Brian was cold from the first day after dx to his last.

    I kept 4 flannel top sheets clean and ready in the laundry room.

    When he became chilled I threw one in the dryer for a couple minutes and put it over him and rotated them as needed.

    I always covered him at night with a warmed up blanket as he went to sleep.

  6. Brian died Jan 1, 2006.

    I am still mad.

    Yes, sometimes at him.

    We were planning our retirement and looking at condos to down size.

    His classic car was finally done and ready for shows after 10 years of diligent and loving labor on his part (and he only had one hand).

    The kids were 'settled'.

    It was our time.

    He died.

    Now I work for insurance at a job that has become a terrible cross to bear.

    I waited too long to sell our big house and am stuck here while the market rebounds. It costs a fortune to maintain and I work everyday to keep it up to 'his standards'.

    I miss him everyday all day

    I hate being alone

    There was one day in Dec '05 when I lost it. I was hateful to everyone~including my beloved Brian. It haunts me. I try to remember all the loving, caring and wonderful things I did to make his journey peaceful............but I still remember the really bad day.

    Let yourself be human. Understand your frustration and FEAR and anger. Let it be. Just let it be.

    You will find strength to be what he needs and to get through. I promise.

    Just know that you are not alone and that all of us understand and most of all ~ your husband understands, too.

    He (and we) love you just as you are.

    Hugs, dear.

    P

  7. I used to mail Cindi stuff when she lived in MN. I never knew her new address. I remember she considered a move to HI and I think she settled on OH.

    I am so sad.

    She was the first person I checked on when I came back to the board.

    She seemed so alone and I am just so sad to know that I lost track of her.

    I am just so sad to read this and pray she was not alone during the past year.

    P

  8. PS

    are your dogs Petit Bassett Grifons?

    I wondered as they are called PBGVs and that reminds me of your screen name.

    (I don't think the avatar looks like what I picture them to be, though. But your 4 legged hairy friend is darling.)

    I got a little Shih Tzu after Bri died and he is a great friend.

    Still more hugs

    P

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