[Brain MRI: It's not horrible news, just not what I wanted]

Wait and see - ugh! And, your practice of gratitude is soooooo heartwarming. 

[Need to vent]

That’s a lot to go through in a year, Chuck.  I’m sorry about your losses but so happy that you’re NED. Suzan

[Deep sadness crawling back]

Oh, Lily. I cried when each of my daughters transitioned to a new phase of their lives and that was way before I was diagnosed with lung cancer.  And yes, I too have bouts of feeling like I’m not normal and have difficulty connecting because of the cancer.  I’m learning to simply honor my grief and stop fighting it. Somehow it passes eventually. I feel for you. With love, Suzan

[Results of the most recent scans]

Good news❤️

[CT scan today is not NED]

Just an update. - thoracic surgeon says she’s not worried. I had bronchitis last summer and she thinks the little nodule is just some type of mucus plug. I was to start annual Ct scans but she is moving it back to every six months and this next time will have a contrast Ct. Hoping it will disappear on its own and have decided that if I MUST worry, I’ll give myself 30 minutes of worry time. The remainder of the day has to be spent living.  The truth is, though, it seems as if it’s always in the back of mind. I’m beginning to learn how to live with uncertainty. And, a lot of times  it is pure joy.

[NED!]

Yay!

[CT scan today is not NED]

Thoracic surgeon is gone for the week. I requested that another radiologist check the scan. Was called by the office manager who assured me that Dr. always reviews the scans slice by slice so asking another radiologist would not be as helpful. She also stated that the request would probably go to the same radiologist.  I called off work today and slept a lot after a little hike with Hank (the dog). Moving through the shock and anger. Thank you guys.

[Thought of the day - why we go through this…]

Such a lovely place to be! I am happy you got to enjoy it this year.

[CT scan today is not NED]

That’s a really good idea, Tom. I’ll call them tomorrow morning. I can’t believe how angryI feel right now. I could smash something and that is really uncharacteristic.  I carefully scheduled the scan and the surgeon’s appointment close together but the office called and rescheduled doc’s appointment for NEXT week. I know it’s all part of the situation. I’m going down to my studio. It will help. Thank you, dear Tom.

[CT scan today is not NED]

Just got my Ct scan results this afternoon and don’t have an appointment with my surgeon until 6/10. It did not say NED this time. GROAN  “There is redemonstration of changes of left lower lobectomy. A nodular density along one of the distal segmental bronchi in the posterior and inferior portion of the left upper lobe on series 9 image 71 measures approximately 3 x 5 mm in axial dimensions compared to 3 x 4 mm on the prior study.” It looks like the ‘nodular density’ was there in the previous scan and has grown just a little (if at all since 1 mm seems tiny).  I check the forum occasionally but find I become weirdly too focused on recurrence anxiety.  Please give me any encouragement and experience you all have with recurrence symptoms and tiny nodules after being NED for 2 years.IMA is a relatively rare form of adenocarcinoma and there are not a lot of studies out there.  My surgeon told me it has a high rate of recurrence even after complete resection. I had the solitary type IMA not pneumonic type and it was stage I