kamataca

I feel 'untethered' these days....like I'm not grounded. Our parents connected us to our past, and to each other (siblings, aunts, uncles, extended families, etc.). Both of my brothers forgot my birthday--or remembered it, and forgot to call, etc. I didn't get a cake this year---how minor of a complaint, but it really cut me up. I was visiting with one of my Mom's friends yesterday (she is finishing the afghan my mom began crocheting for my brother's first baby, due in November). She told me it was now my job to keep everone connected...do the holidays...make all the phone calls. I just feel so old. Kelly

I went to see the musical WICKED with my family Wed. night--belated birthday gift. Tay and I went to see it two years ago, and I wanted to see it with the whole family this time. So, we should have seen it coming, but when they sang "For Good," (a song when two best friends realize they will probably never see each other again) Tay and I just started bawling. Poor DH had no idea what to do. It was a good cry, tho, and she and I talked about it afterwards. If you haven't seen the musical, I highly recommend it. The phrase in the song that got me: "So much of me Is made of what I learned from you You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart..." Kelly

Wonder if we should institute an "Older Orphans Day"--not that either of you are old, mind you. That way those of us w/o parents left here anymore have a day of our own. Sorry if I sound morose---just feeling a little sorry for myself as well. Mom's b-day is tomorrow, followed by Father's Day. I'll try to think of them celebrating together this year, for the first time in almost 30 years. See if that helps. Kelly

I think it is great that you guys marked the occasion. As hard as that is, I think trying to ignore it is harder. Tomorrow is Mom's birthday. As kids we always did a movie and dinner out, so the kids, my brother, DH and I are going to a movie in her honor. I don't know if I'm brave enough to do a cake. Your instincts are good ones. Your kids are lucky to have you there, helping them through this time. Lots of love, rainbows, and prayers going out to you. Kelly

I am just so sorry that you are going through this right now. I lived in Mpls for 10 winters, and always thought of as a mecca for great health care. Unfortunately it doesn't sound like this is your Mom's experience. Do NOT let them brush off your mother, or treat her like a statistic. This is your mother! I know how hard this is (I was primary care giver for my mom), and I know that your Mom has to want to move forward after being treated so horribly. Please read through some of the stories in the LC Survivors section, or the Good News forum. There is a lot that can be done for LC. There is hope. Keep us updated. I'll be praying for you guys. Kelly

Dinner already done....just starting on it now. Kelly

So precious! I love the first pic. He is ging to be one lucky boy with such great parents, and a Suki to boot! Congratulations to you guys...and thanks for sharing the pics. Kelly

I'm screaming for you here in OK! Fantastic news. Kelly

Double HA! Kelly

HA! Made me laugh. Kelly

When Ann is around, the sun is shining! Kelly

I have to have Mom's house done by Friday... I also want to stain our swing set this week. Of course my grandma used to say that you can wish in one hand and *poop* (not her word) in the other and see which one fills up faster. She was a true gem.. Kelly

I'm so glad to hear exciting baby things! Keep us posted! Kelly

I just want to scream on your behalf. I might scare the dog, but what the heck. Nothing I can add at this point but my prayers. I know you have traveled down this caretaker role quite a bit, but please remember to take care of yourself as well. What's going on around you is very overwhelming. You have to take care of yourself if you hope to take care of others. Fingers and toes crossed. Kelly

Oh, I hope and pray that everything will be OK. It's just so scary not to know. Please take care of yourselves and let us know what you find out. Lots of prayers going out to you now. Kelly

I just saw this today---so very sorry to hear the news. I know your mom is one heck of a gal, and having kicked cancer's sorry butt once, she can do it again. I'm just sorry that she has to. You guys are in my prayers. Kelly

Back pain....YUCK! Grandbaby....YA-HOOOO! Hope everything is peachy for you soon. Kelly

Throw it down the mouth of a live and active volcano, and hurl obscenitites at it as it fell helplessly to its demise. I hate cancer for taking my grandfather, my cousin, my mother, and currently threatening my friend. Most of all I hate it for teaching my children way too early how cruel life can be. My daughter's anger at cancer right now is overwhemling her. Maybe we should have a bonfire in the backyard--have them write about cancer and burn the bleepin' thing to pieces. *ah* I feel a little better for having written that. Kelly

I'm so sorry you are in this tough place right now. My Mom worried about chemo, and initially told us sshe wouldn't do it. She was a big quality / quantity person herself. We tried to back off and let her make her own decisions, and she eventually decided to try one session. She kept going after that. My Mom was very strong for 25 months, and I am so grateful for that time. Feel free to PM me any time if you want. This is just so overwhelming at this point. We're all here for you. Kelly

If you have siblings get together with them, if possible, and toast Dad, support each other, and tell funny stories. I think the harder we try to avoid thinking about our lost ones on these significant days, the worse it can be. If you can't get together with others, do something special you and Dad would have liked, in honor of him. I sound like I have it all figured out, but Saturday is/would have been my Mom's birthday. First one. We're trying to get something together. I just know that if I try to ignore it (which I would tend to do), it will just make it worse. I'll be thinking about / praying for you. Kelly

I can't add anything here, just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you and sending mad support and prayers from OK. Kelly

We're here whenever you need us. Gosh knows I've leaned enough on everyone here over the years. So glad you found us! Kelly

Gosh, I feel so badly for you both! The cancer should be enough to go through, without having to hassle with all of the red tape. I pray you can find some answers soon. Donna, what a blessing that you were able to help your parents out in this. I don't know how to help your dad not stress. I never was very good at that. You might explain to him that too much stress could cause him to 'crash' either physically or emotionally, and then he wouldn't be any good for your mom. As a former crasher, I can assure you this is true. He must take care of himself, if he hopes to take care of Mom. Good luck with it! Kelly

Wow--establishing those libraries was very cool! I wonder if your mom was like mine--wanted as much control as possible? My mom was alert and in no pain when she signed her hospice papers, and then died at home peacefully less than one week later. I think women who know their own minds may have some say over their final moments. Your mom sounds like an incredible woman. They are the ones who leave such enermous gaps in our lives when they are gone. Please take care of yourself in the upcoming days and weeks. Kelly

Not an AMEX gal, but I'm very impressed with what you guys have done. Nice work! Kelly