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kamataca

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Posts posted by kamataca

    She's here

    in HOPE

    Posted

    Can't believe I missed this! So many congrats to you guys...I teared up at the idea of the three of you together, with Mom there too, of course.

    What a beautiful image....now SHOW US PICTURES!!!

    :) Kelly

    Can We Talk about all the other "stuff"?

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    When my dad died years ago, my mom put most of her accounts in joint survivorship with us (her children), instead of just putting it in just her name. Years later, this made life MUCH easier for us. My only problem is that I am listed under my maiden name, so I was hassled (just doing their job, I know...) at the bank. I told them I'd just send my brother in the next day to start the entire process all over again since his name was still the same. They ended up working with me, but made darn sure I appreciated how 'nice' they were being. Bleh.

    All of Mom's mail was forwarded to me (nice man at the Post Office helped me out, since I should have had her signature to do it...), so I'm still getting surprises 9 months later, myself.

    Kelly

    Songs that touch you.

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I like a lot of the same ones...

    "Live Like You Were Dying"

    Pink's "Who Knew?"

    "Without You" from the Rent Soundtrack

    "The Black Parade" My Chemical Romance

    Music affects me like nothing else. I start to well up at church when they play songs from Mom's funeral (that is how I will forever think of them now). "Hosea" gets me...my daughter told me that at the funeral I told her I thought it was my Dad singing to my Mom ..."Long have I waited for your coming home to me, and living deeply our new lives..." I can't make it through that song yet.

    Kelly

    Memory Boards

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    That's rough. It seems like each time we think we are doing all right, something comes along and smacks us back down. Hope you spring right back up again, soon.

    Much love,

    Kelly

    Gratitude - February 12th 2008

    in HOPE

    Posted

    Looking for inspiration on this very gray and cold day in OK. I'm a little blue. Let's see...grateful DH got his new car for work, so we can sell his old one and get back on track $$$ after being laid off.

    See! You made me think of something positive!

    Kelly

    Will I ever be again? (warning: unexpectedly long post!)

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    I'm glad you were able to get that all out. Sometimes just getting it all in writing makes me feel better. I'm a BIG believer in venting!

    As far as, "Does it ever get better?"...I think it does. I pray it does. My loss of my Mom still feels so fresh though it has been 9 months. I don't have any perspective on that, yet. My father died 30 years ago next month. I've obviously lived a life-time in those decades, and there isn't the chasm inside of me from his loss that I experienced for years. I still feel sadness from time-to-time because of what I lost, but it is certainly managable.

    I think we need to be patient with ourselves and our grief. When I feel like it will never be better, I think of where I was 6 months ago. I've certainly made 'progress' since then--if that is the word. I'm happier more frequently.

    Here is the proof to me: yesterday my daughter had the game of her life in basketball. I was so excited, and my first thought was that I couldn't wait to tell Mom. Usually when my head goes there, I am washed away with fresh grief. Yesterday I actually smiled at that moment instead, with the realization that Mom already knew.

    It may not seem like much to others, but it was a huge victory to me. Celebrate those 'little' victories, and be good to yourself!

    Kelly

    my dads new apartment

    in GRIEF

    Posted

    Kleenex and a sense of humor will be important. I did my Mom's house. Since she lived there alone, we (my brothers and I) had to do it all. We donated everything we could to charity--Mom would have liked that--but I saved sentimental things (religious items, yearbooks, etc.)

    It was terribly hard--I won't lie. I did much better when my brothers were with me, and we could laugh and joke about things we found, than when I was alone. That was extremely difficult.

    Lots of hugs going out to you. This is hard, but you CAN do it.

    Kelly

    Gratitude - February 7th 2008

    in HOPE

    Posted

    Grateful that I may not be the caboose for signing in today!

    Grateful that ALL of my students were back in school today---we've had a nasty time with illness lately. Grateful that STILL none of it has felled me.

    Grateful that my kids are healthy enough to drag me all over town to games, practices, etc.

    Kelly

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