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I know exactly how you feel. My Mom passed away just 2 days before yours. I just got the death certificates and am now starting to deal with all of the paperwork involved. What I'm really not looking forward to is cleaning out her home. Just thinking about brings tears to my eyes. Hang in there and just take it one day at a time. That's what I've decided to do. Patty

Hi Mark, My Mom got the tingling in her hands and feet too. The Doc said it was normal and from the chemo. We heard later that it is actually nerve damage. Hang in there and good luck. Patty

Hi Nikki, I'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. That kind of news is never easy. Cherish the time you have with him and I will keep your family in my prayers. Patty

I am so sorry for your loss. His memory will live on in many lives. Patty

Now that she’s gone, what am I supose to do? So many more things I’d like to say. So many more things I’d like to do. I reach for the phone to call her. I think of things I’d like to share with her. I know she had a wonderful life, but I want more! With the passing of my Mom, then 3 days later my Aunt, I feel like I haven’t even grieved yet. We were so busy getting everything ready for Moms Memorial Service and trying to comfort my Uncle and cousins. The day after Moms service, there was a viewing for my Aunt. The day after that, her funeral. After the funeral, I went and picked up Moms ashes. This was the Longest 3 days of my life and it’s all a blur! One of my sons is in the Air Force. He has been stationed in England for the last 3 years. His wife and 2 kids ages 3 ½ and 10 months flew in the end of August and were staying at her Moms. My son flew in the day before Moms service. They are all staying with us this week. As of this Saturday he will be stationed in Tucson. I am so happy he will be closer! Since he was in England for 3 years, a lot of his friends are coming by. I have 2 other boys who still live at home so life at home is a bit crazy this week, and that’s putting it mildly. A part of me wants peace and quite, the other, is overjoyed they are here with us. I keep remembering stories of my Mom and that makes me smile. It also makes me sad. She was so loved and will be missed! I just feel so numb. Patty

On September 20th at 3:50 p.m. my Mom passed away. My sister and I were at her side. She had a wonderful life filled with activities, travel and family that she loved deeply. She will be missed by many and will always be remembered. I had gone into work that morning to get a few things done and when I called her house my Aunt and Uncle were there. My Aunt told me that Mom had been unresponsive since 7:30 that morning and would stay with her until I got there. I arrived about 11:30 and stayed by her side until she was gone. Just before she passed I kissed her again on the forehead and told her I loved her and it was ok. She took 3 small breaths and was gone. Then on Friday morning my Aunt passed away. She had conjestive heart failure and was schedule for a procedure on Thursday. They were unable to do the procedure (because of her heart)and sent her home with a referal to a cardiologist. She passed away Friday morning. Our family is in such shock with my Aunts passing. We were kind of prepared for my Mom but not at all for my Aunt. I'm am so glad that I spoke with her on Thursday. She was comforting me and giving some advise on some of things my sister and I will need to do in the near future. She too will be missed! Patty

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. One thing that I just did with my Mom was to set up a puzzle on a card table and we all worked on it. It was something we did when I was young and sitting around the card table together talking about old times was really really great. Best of luck. Patty

Yesterday when I got to my Moms the Hospice nurse was there. My Moms breathing had become very labored. The nurse had us increase her morphine sulfate drops to help ease her breathing. So after giving her this she slept for over 4 hours. I sat there and counted how many breaths she took (6-8 per minute)and held her hand. When she woke, she was very disoriented and confused. She kept taking off her oxygen and wanted to walk around. We helped her stand and walk a little and then it was like she was on the move again. We did this for about 30 minutes, all the time her talking off her oxygen and getting a little frustrated. I tried to explain to her that taking off the oxygen would not help make it be over any sooner and keeping it on will make her more comfortable. Then, she seemed like she understood, but didn't. I spoke to our caregiver this morning and the same is going on. She was going to call the nurse to see what time she will be there today so I can head down there for her visit. (I'm at work for now) I'm sure all of this is normal. Her wanting to get up and walk scares me. I'm just worried that she may hurt herself. She's not really been able to speak since last Friday. We are able to make out some of what she tries to say but now with the morphine and the confusion it's all just so hard. I pray for peace and comfort for my Mom. I pray for God to take her into his arms and hold her until we meet again. I am so grateful to find this board. Everyone here has been so helpful and kind. Thanks for letting me vent. Patty

Thank you all so much for your response. Wednesday night while I was at Moms she said that part of the reason she had slept so much that day was because she was so bored. So yesterday on my way down, I stopped and got a puzzle. When I was young, my Mom we would set up a card table in the family room, mostly during the summer. My Mom, sister and I and all of our friends that came into our house would work on them and it was really fun. So yesterday, I got the card table out and all of us started to work on it. We were able to slide the table right up to her chair and prop her with pillows. There were 4 of us aroung the table, my sister, a neighbor, who is like a 2nd Mom to us, my Mom and me. We worked on it together for about an hour. It was so nice to be there together, remembering and talking about all of those summer days from long ago. Later after everyone else had left I asked Mom if this afternoon went by faster than yesterday? With a big smile on her face she said "yes, thank you" When I had spoke with the nurse the night before, she said that we should be giving Mom the morphine drops every 2 hours. It's kinda cute how when they tell Mom she should be doing something as far as the pain meds goes she doesn't do it.But after I tell her she needs to, she says ok and does it. When I got there yesterday I told her she didn't look like she was comfortable. She had just woke up and our caregiver, who is GREAT came over to give her the drops. Two hours later, she was given more drops. When I left to go home she did look comfortable, tired but comfortable. Yesterday was a much better day and I thank God. Patty

Hi, My Mom is near her final days and last night she told me that she is ready for all of this to be over. I told her that I understood and I loved her. Her condition has declined so fast in the last 30 days it’s hard to believe. It was just 1 month ago today that she played her last round of golf. In her retirement years she has kept very busy. She played golf 3 days a week. When there was snow she’d go to Mammoth every other week to ski. She has always been a very independent and strong person who has lived her life to the fullest with no regrets. Last night after I had been to Moms I talked to my sister. We had seen each other earlier but couldn’t really talk. I had told her about what Mom had said to me and my sister said that she wouldn’t be surprised if Mom took some pills or something to end it. Also, yesterday when the Hospice Nurse was there, my Mom asked her if they could just turn off the oxygen. Then last night the nurse called while I was there and she told me about that and so I asked her how near was the end. She told me that it could still take some time. I remember reading somewhere that with Hospice you can give them something to help them to the next stage. I will talk to the nurse later but thought that maybe some of you could fill me in on what it’s called, how it works, and can it be done in California? I just figure I should check out what all of her options are. Thank you for any advice that you can give. Patty

My Mom didn't lose her eyebrows or eyelashes. When her hair started to fall out, she had me shave it. It seemed to be a little less disconcerning that way. Good luck finding what you need. Patty

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I know all of you are struggling also, so please know you are in my prayers too.

Hi Everyone, My Mom was dx in October of 2004. She went thru 6 rounds of chemo, 3 days each, and was unable to do radiation due to previous radiation after breast cancer surgery in 2000. Her last round of chemo was 3/18/05. On 8/15/05, two weeks ago yesterday she played her last round of golf. She had been playing 3 times a week. On 8/16/05 we had oxegon brought into the house and on the 8/19/05 we took her to the ER. She was having trouble breathing due to a pleural effusion. They drained 2 liters from her left lung, gave her antibotics and an anti-inflamitory. We brought her home on the 20th and bought in a caregiver the next day. Last Friday we called Hospice. The Doctors said it wouldn't be long and we are spending as much time with her as possible. Her left arm swelled up last week and now I notice her right foot it swollen also. Hospice gave us a book about dying. It talks about detachment from this world and the signs and symptoms of dying. It's all so much to take in. Please keep our family in your prayers. Thank you