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Lori, I'm sorry you are going though this! Is there anyway you can tell your Mom what's really going on? I would just keep doing all of the things you want to do for her and tell Step Dad that's just the way it's gonna be! If she wants to go shopping, then take her shopping. If he doesn't want any part of it, fine. Tell him she really wants to goShe's been your Mom longer than he's been her husband. I know that's kind of harse but to bad. Hang in there Patty

Mark, Prayers are coming your way. Hang in there and keep fighting! Patty

CONGRATS! He is sooooo cute!!!! ENJOY!!! Patty

Melinda, Prayers are being sent your way right now. I'm so sorry that you are going thru this. My Mom told me that same thing just 1 week before she passed. I felt exactly like you do and I just made sure to spend as much time with her as I could. Hang in there. Patty

I am so sorry. You are in my prayers! Patty

Hi All, With Thanksgiving tomorrow, I find that I’m having a hard time coping. What was once taken for granted, no longer is. I will be cooking tomorrow, taking over for Mom. It will be exactly like Mom did for every year of my life. I keep thinking if I could have just 1 more Thanksgiving with her, 1 more anything, life might seem normal or ok. I keep thinking about how she believed that she would live on though my sister and me. My Mom and I were so much alike. Our outlook on life, our passion for gardening, golfing, reading and of course, family. The list just goes on and on. I will always strive to live my life in a way that would make her proud. It has also appeared to me that my morning drive into work is one of the hardest times of the day for me. I see the mountains that Mom loved so much and it reminds me of her. Heck, everything reminds me of her. As I drive in, all of these memories come flooding into my head and it makes me miss her so much. As I drive, trying not to cry I have found myself thinking of this message board. Knowing that I can come here has really helped me get through the days and for that I am truly grateful. So thank you, and wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving. Patty

Shelly, Hoping for good news. Your in my prayers. Patty

Val, Your blog starts out with the good news and then the dreaded news comes. I so know how you feel. On Oct 17th of last year, my youngest son was in a car accident while I was out of state for a weekend of fun. His car rolled 3 times and only by the grace of God, my son and his 3 friends, walked away. I was so thankful! I thanked God over and over. Then 5 days later, my Mom was diagnosed and life as I knew it, would no longer be. I am grateful that I had almost a full year with her before she lost her battle, but of course, I want more. I really just wanted you to know I know how you feel and your not alone! Patty

Dear Cellar, I too am glad that you posted. I have been wondering how you are doing. You both over came so much, then to lose him in the end just doesn't seem right. Just know you are in my prayers. Patty

Dear Pat, I am so sorry Brian isn't doing well. Please know that you both are still in my prayers. Patty

I have a son that is in the Air Force and he was stationed in England when my Mom passed away on Sept 20th. As of Oct 1st, he was transferred to Davis Monthan AFB in Tuscon. We figured that a lot of the stuff at my Moms, could be used by him and his family. So when his car got here (via boat from England) we would rent a Uhaul, load it, and have 1 of our other boys go with him so 1 could drive the car and the other could drive the Uhaul. As it turned out, both of our boys that are still at home, went with their brother on this 7 hour road trip to Tuscon. Anyway, the day that we were at my Moms doing this, my youngest asked me what we were going to do for Thanksgiving this year. For my entire life, Thanksgiving has ALWAYS been at Moms. Even last year after she was diagnosed, she wanted to do Thanksgiving at her house. I told my son that I didn’t have a clue what we were going to do. We continued on, loading the truck and I went back inside to take the last load of trash out. When I came back inside to put a new bag in the trash can, I smelled gas. I walked over to where the gas dryer had been, it was ok. I went back over to where the trash can is, to put a new bag in, and that’s when I noticed the oven was on! The oven is right next to where the trash can is. I opened the oven door, and it was heating up! I thought “What the heck!” Inside the oven sat the bottom ½ of Moms turkey roaster. We had used it on the day of her service and when I was cleaning up, I stuck it in there to get it out of the way. So what the heck was that? My first thought was thank God I’m here to turn if off. I just can’t imagine how it got turned on. No one was near it. Then I wondered if it was my Mom trying to say hello. My husband said that Mom knew I would go back to put another bag in the trash can. Thank goodness I wasn’t being an airhead and forgot. Later I thought that maybe she was trying to tell me not to forget the turkey roaster since I would be needing it? I remember a couple of months after my MIL passed away. My husband went over to her house to pick something up. While he was there, all of a sudden, the outgoing message on her phone played. The phone never rang to prompt the message, it just played. It freaked him out and he tore off out of there. I just wondered if anyone else has had this kind of experience? I miss her so much and can’t imagine Thanksgiving without her. There are so many things that come up, and my 1st response is to call her, share with her. I hope that never ends. Patty Patty

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and your family. Patty

My stepdaughter had a baby girl last night at 8:51 p.m. Her name is Mckenze and she weighed 8lbs 7oz and is 21" long and has blonde hair. Both new Mommy and baby are doing great! We will be driving down to see them tomorrow and I can't wait! This is our 3rd grandchild and I'm so excited. Just had to share some great news. Patty

Brian and Pat, Your are both an inspiration! Keep up the fight! You continue to be in my prayers. Patty

Ann, I'm so sorry that your having to go thru this. I know how you feel. Some years back I worked for a couple for real crazys and though it was hard, I did learn a little from it. I would first try sitting him down and talking to him, maybe over lunch or something. By sharing with him some of your feelings, maybe you can come to an understanding. Of course you can't expect to change him, but if you could find some middle ground that might be helpful. Hang in there and I hope it gets better. Patty

Bronbear, I know exactly how you feel. I too am a strong person and I feel like I could crack at any time. It's just so hard to lose a parent. I'm so sorry that the care your Dad received at the rehab hospital wasn't top notch. I can only imagine how hard that was. I'm sure he found comfort with his family around him. I came back to work almost immediatly after my Mom passed away, which has been good and bad. Part of me wants to just hide from everyone but the other part of me knows that I'm better off at work keeping busy. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Patty

Kim, I'm sorry to hear of your strugles in regards to your Mom wanting to driving. My Mom too "wanted to see if she could do it". I was luckly that I was able to talk her out of it. I told her that she needed to save her strength, since when she was tired she felt worse. I also told her that it gave me something to do and therefore I felt useful. The key would be safety, hers, yours and the kids. Patty

I am so sorry for your loss. Patty

I'm so glad you were able to go and made it home. Try and get some rest. You are in my prayers. Patty

Hi, I remember when my Mom was first dx, it seemed like it took forever to get things going. They really didn't tell us too much as first, only the info we needed for the next step and nothing beyond that. Hang in there! It's never hopeless! I will keep you in my prayers. Patty

Kim, I'm really sorry that your Mom isn't doing to well. My Mom was still played golf up to a month before she passed away. She didn't have any mets to her brain which I am thankful for but I know how hard it is to sit by and watch all of the changes that take place. I will keep your family in my prayers. Patty

Nancy, I am so very sorry so hear about your brother. What a shock! You and your family are in my prayers. Patty

Hi All, First I would like to thank everyone for all of the support and prayers you have offered. I found this board just weeks before my Mom passed away and reading through the different post has really helped me. As I read through them, I find it hard to post. Please know you are all in my thoughts and prayers. It was 1 month ago today that my Mom passed away. I miss her so much, I can hardly stand it. I just want to pick up the phone and call her. We always shared the daily going ons of our lives and I will always treasure that. but now that she gone, there is such a hugh void in my life. I received a letter from Hospice a couple of days ago. It was offering services with regards to grief. There was an outline of the different feeling you go though, etc. As I read it, I started balling my eyes out. It took me 3 tries just to get though it. Since Mom passed away, I can't figure out what the new normal is. There has been so many things to do. So many things to try to get caught up. For the last year, all of my time has revolved around her. It will be a year ago tomorrow since we found out she was sick. Part of me feels like I haven't grieved. I know that I am, but maybe I'm just handling it really well. This isn't the first lose that I've suffered. Am I getting better at this? It is just different each time? Or is it because I know my Mom lived a full life with no regrets and she was at totally at peace when she died? My feeling are just all over the place and part of me is afraid that at some point, I'm going to completely lose it. I keep telling myself to take 1 day at a time. It's been 30 days. Patty

Millie, I am so sorry for your lose. I will pray that you find some comfort as time goes by. Patty

Pat, You are both in my prayers! Patty