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Miami Janet

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Posts posted by Miami Janet


  1. Hi Heather,

    I also just lost my Mom on Nov 17.I know how yuo are feeling and the only consolation is that I hated seeing my Mom suffer and Im happy that she is well again and with my Dad. Otherwise, it is so unbelievable to me that I will never see her again...even though I knew it was coming I cant seem to grasp that concept. I keep wanting to call and tell her something that happened or buy her something at the store like before. Well, thy say the only help is time but know you are not alone in how you feel. Nobody ever loves us like our Moms and thy are irreplacable. Janet


  2. Hi Janet,

    You didnt mention what Ron wants to do? I guess that would be the main factor for me...the treatment can sometimes be worse then the disease. He seems very young to be given up on. Anyway there is no easy answer on what to do...we always tried to do what my Mom wanted and in the end she refused further treatment as the side effects kept making her sich and putting her in the hospital and she wanted to be at home and rest. However my Mom was 78...there is a big difference I think..W e are wishing the best for you and Ron...Janet


  3. Hi Katie,

    My Mom was very similiar...if we asked her anything she would refuse. The only way to help her was to just do it . Even the nurses joked that they knew what the answer would be if they asked if she wanted anything...No to everything. So, we pretty much had to guess what was good and best for her. In my Moms case I think she didnt want to put anyone out as she was very independent. Maybe your brother feels that way...knows he needs it but wont ask. Anyway it sometimes made things a lot harder then they would have been if she would have cooperated more. Hope you are able to get thru to him...Janet


  4. Hi Patty,

    I know how you feel...I would like to jump right to January if I could. Everything I see reminds me of my Mom and I constantly want to bring her a little something like I always did before or call to tell her sonmething. I am having dinner at my house tomorrow for just us..immediate family. Its not the same but I think she would want us to do it and I like to think our Moms will be there with us watching and helping us get through.

    Know you are not alone in how you feel and check back in on Friday...one day at a time...Janet


  5. Hi Cheryl,

    Its never easy...this disease. I feel its always best to be prepared for anything but hope and pray for the best. I made sure that I told my Mom everyday how much I loved her and tried to do something special to make her happy each day just in case it was her last day. I also think that when you are so close tosomeone you probably will know if the end is coming. Hugs and prayers for you and your husband...Janet


  6. Hi Everyone...Just wanted to let everyone know that my Mom passed away yesterday 11-17 at 8:15 am. I and my brother were both at her side which is what I wanted. She was pretty miserable the past few weeks so I am happy she is no longer suffering but I have lost both my Mom and my best friend. Already I have wanted to tell her things that happened with my kids and its not the same telling her this way.I thank everyone for all the advice and support in the past and I hope I can give back to others who need help.Best of strength to everyone out there fighting the nasty cancer demon...Janet


  7. Hi Henry,

    My Mom was on taxotere for her second round of chemo and her tumor disappeared completely. She lost no hair that time and did not feel sick...no nausea or diarehea. She did need to get several blood transfusions. Hope you all have good luck with it as well...Janet


  8. Hi Everyone, I finally signed my Mom up for Hospice as she was coughing up blood and the doctors say if she wants no nmore treatment there is nothing they can do for her. She didnt actually agree or disagree when I told her but I told her we needed help to make sure we took care of her well.

    So far Im not too impressed with them, maybe it will change. The initial nurse was very sweet with my Mom but she was the sign up person. After her we got a different person.

    Any way, does anyone have any experience/advice on the coughing up blood issue??The doctors seem to say nothing is to be done but it is very scary? Does this mean this is close to the end?ALl input is appreciated...Janet


  9. Hi Kim,

    I can sympathize with you as I was caring for my Mom in my house for 1 year...while I wouldnt trade that time It was a big strain on my whole family financially and emotionally. Now she is in her own place but since she has gotten worse...in good part because like your Mom I think she just lays in bed and waits to die. This has made her super weak and she now requires 24 hour care. My brother and I cannot be there every minute so we hired someone..it costs a fortune but it was a big relief to go visit when it was convenient instead of rushing aroung. Mom had savings that she never spent on herself so no it helps a lot. Medicare also provides help but not all day. My Mom also didnt want anyone...I was scared to bring the women over but she has turned out to be great. Now Mom will only do things for the aide, nurse, Pt etc If I say ..lets do some exercise she says no.I dont think this helps you much as I am lucky my Mom has the money to pay these people because I dont, especially after not working to care for her last year. May be it will help to know we are in somewhat of the same boat...Janet


  10. Just received your posts as we have been without power. On now only briefly with the generator but Mom got her power back 3 days ago. It was quite an experience with the O2, the electric bed , the gas shortage, etc I think I spent at least 3-4 hours in lines to get her her morning coffee and hot food for dinner. After it was over she only remembers eating bread and butter...oh well. Mom started PT today Im hoping it will help. She wont do any exercise for me but for a stranger she does it.

    well, thanx for all the responses...now if the lights would just come on...Janet


  11. Today was a bad day for My Mom...She had difficulty breathing but does not want to go to the hospital...the EMTs checked her out and her O2 saturation was low so I was able to get her doctor to order and deliver O2 for home use. I think it helps a little but I really dont understand what exactly causes this? The lung tumor is only 3 cm and her lungs are clear??Does anybody habve experience with this? Also, we are about to get hit by a hurricaine and if we need help this weekend/next week we are out of luck. Has anyone had this happen and it improves?Please advise before Wilma gets here as we will likely lose power.....Janet


  12. My Mom decided 2 weeks ago while she was in the hospital to D/C further treatment. She also refuses hospice? She says she will go out to see the doctor. She is so tired all the time and we have to really push her to get out of bed for even 1 hour a day. She has no interest in anything...TV etc and talks very little. She says there is no pain which is the only good thing I think. At what point will we have to call in hospice even if she doesnt want it? Has anyone had this happen...I want to respect her wishes but I dont want herto suffer and I could also use the support of people who know more then me about what is going on. I dont know if she does not accept she will die or what her reasons are..she was a nurse so she knows what she has. Any advice or personal experiences are appreciated. Janet


  13. Thanxfor the input. My Mom has been on antidepressent for about a month..I dont know if that is long enought o work yet? We had to hospitalize her yesterday as her hemoglobin was low and she was dehydrated. Now at least they are doing more tests to see if there is a reason she has declined so much over the past month or so. If not I think that maybe she has lost the will to live and was maybe trying to hasten things??I dont think she is enjoying anything in her life at this point. We bring all her favorite foods and make her shakes..Boost with ice cream etc but we can only encourage her to eat. Tomorrow we get CT results to see if there is any growth or spread of the cancer.Is anyonelse out there on or familiar with Perifisone..the clinical trial drug my Mom is on.???Thanks again for all the replies...no one else understands exactly what I feel like those in the same boat....Janet


  14. Can anyone give me an idea of what to do for my Mom. She has NSCLC stage 4 and is on a clinical trial of perifisone right now. The past few weeks she has gone from being independentat home and walking to being completely dependent and in a wheelchair. She does not want to leave bed at all or eat or drink. We can persuade to eat and drink a little but she will only sit in the chair max 1 hour a day and every day seems to go downhill. I dont know if this means the end is near and we should have hospice come in or it is depression????The doctor says she is doing great but he doesnt understand how she has declined..she puts on a different face at his office.Can anyone give me there experience towards the end?(she is on antidepressents but only about 1 month so far..maybe they havent kicked in) [/img]

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