Mskim

My mom had some bone mets and the radiation really took care of it right off! She had very quick pain relief too. Looking back I wish my Step father had gone to a cancer care center, aparently Spokane (where we live) is great for heart problems but not very good for cancer treatment. I had no say in her care but if it were me, my Hubby and I already said we would go where ever and do what ever it took, and I think I would start with a second opinion from a Cancer Center of America. It may not be convenient but I know we have one only 5 hours away in Seattle and I wish my mom would have gone there. They use nutrition and whole body/homeopathic care to keep your strength up to fight the disease along with traditional treaments and they have advanced radiology treatments. I sound like a commercial I know but I would be willing to try anything. Prayers for your family! I can imagine as an oncology nurse you have so much info in your head swirling around, it must be very difficult!

It is so hard to see our strong parents in a vulnerable state. I am so sorry your family is having to go through this. It sounds as if the treatment they have given your mom is very agressive and I don't know how to say it but just this... my mom was not strong enough physically or mentally to take the treatment. I am so glad that your mother's doctors have decided your mom will be a strong fighter and are tackling this with all the guns!! I am not sure my theory is the right one but I think goign for it full on is the best way. I really feel if my mom had been strong enough to take chemo and rads at the same time maybe it would have been more effective. Hugs and prayers!! Kim

I know this may not be the appropriate board for nuts like me, but it does look like I am going to make it after all! The nodules are just nodules and now when I go in every year for my mammgram I will have a chest x-ray too. They said that the CT was "not indicative of any pulmonary disease". You all knew it already and I want to thank you for your positive messages and advice and prayers. I certainly earned some more gray hair and wrinkles this weekend and I really had some long talks with myself about what is important!

I had the CT (that was insane, when mom said the imaging dye makes you feel like you are on fire and peeing your pants she was not exaggerating!) Friday and just have to wait today for results and will post them as soon as I get them. I had a weird weekend, I went from absolutely not thinking about it at times to wondering if I would have hair at Christmas. Thanks for everyone's kind thoughts and prayers, I for the first time added myself to the prayers this weekend.

Lori... I just am so happy to hear you are at your mom's side. You are doing everythign I wanted to do for her had she not died so suddenly, and I had been allowed to be in charge of her care. I won't even go into the SF thing. While mine seemed to be more supportive it bordered on controlling and I have resentment that she sould have had better more effective treatment had he not resigned himelf so early on the she would die anyway. He has even started dating... but that is a whole other post on a whole other forum. You are a wonderful woman and I love hearing about how you love your mom so deeply. It mirrors how I feel about mine.

My mom took it too, it was liquid too, and made her very sick. They really started giving it too her too late. I hope it works for your hubby. They were going to try another but for some reason I think they said it would make her sleepy, and she was really concerned about that.

Thanks everyone...

I went in for a routine chest xray YESTERDAY (as you know my mom had lung cancer and I am an ex smoker) and today they called to tell me I have suspicous nodules on my lungs and need to have a ct scan tomorrow. I wont get results back until next week. I am a 36 year old mother of 3 young children. I am just not sure how much more I can take.

(((Andrea)))) I can relate... my new normal life is in fear and emotional pain. just got back from my very own mammogram & chest x ray. Hugs and prayers for your whole family, Kim

(((((Lori))))) Continued prayers, Kim

I'm sorry, I hope you get the chance to hold her hand and tell her all you need to. You are in my prayers. Kim

WOW this is just amazing.... I should have read on before I blubbered in my last post... I am so happy for you. Hugs & Prayers, Kim

(((Lori))) I am so sorry your journey with your beloved Mom is coming to an end. I am so happy and proud you fought for her and that you are spending these last days with her in your home, snuggling with her and whispering to her how much you love her. In the same breath I say this my heart just aches for you and the pain you are enduring letting her go. I often tell people when they say that my mom is at peace that that may be so, but I selfishly would rather have her laying on my couch so I could take care of her for the rest of my life. I know its unreasonable but oh what I would give! You had so many small victories and you can surely bet that your Mom is proud and at peace. God Bless you Lori... Kim

You are all still in my prayers... moms 3 month heaven date ws yesterday, brought fresh pain so I keep to myself mostly. Kim

((((Lori))) You and your family are, as always, in my prayers. Kim

(((((KIM)))))) I hope she changes her mind and stays with you. Would make things much easier, maybe safer, and certainly you can create some precious memories. Also, a pocket calendar to match my moms was my best friend. I also made sure the dr's had me on their list for releasing info over the phone. Prayers for your journey, Kim (also)

Bitter sweet... how we have lost our past and ther we are at the top of the family tree now. We will tell these stories and pray our children have us around much longer so they do not have to try to remember our stories. What I would also give to ask more questions, hear more stories, hear my parents voices. Thank you so much for sharing... Kim

I think all the advice here is wonderful, staying busy is the most helpful thing I think... the other thing is that it's quite alright to just cry in your cheerios too... My mom has only been gone 10 weeks but I have been through a couple of Dad's angel dates and it is still hard... Hugs, Kim

This speaks to me as we always spent our summers together camping, especially last summer after she was diagnosed but always before that. Now it is just not the same. "Sitting in the Grass" by Anele Rubin Sitting in the grass under the stars by the extinguished fire, sitting there after the last trip with a jug and a pail of water, amazed at how long the wet logs continue to sizzle, mistaking a firefly in the grass for a spark, confusing, as I look up, stars and fireflies, thinking, though, about my mother, looking at the brilliant pricks of light in the dark sky, at the dark shapes of trees, darker than the sky they stand up against, thinking about how much I love that which is no longer visible, telling my mother out loud, not loud, really, but very quietly saying her name, the personal name I had for her, speaking it to the night sky as our ancestors would pray to those who went before and lit a path back to the source.

Im so sorry, I pray for peace in your heart. Kim

I am so pleased for you Lori. It is a wonderful gift to have her in your home. Hugs and Prayers, Kim

I am so deeply sorry Carleen, May our Lord be with you. Kim[/u]

I am so sorry dear (((Carleen))) My heart is just wrecked for you both. I hope that in some small way you are comforted by all of the thoughts here and as always I am praying for peace and painlessness for you both. God Bless KIM

Your Mom is in my prayers. Kim

I too analyze everything that happened leading up to moms death. Not so much obvious mistakes or anyhting but just what could have been different, even if were to give us a few days. I suppose it doensn't matter so much but it hurts an awful lot and keeps me awake at night. I pray we all can find some peace. Kim