beat it

Well I havent posted in forever but just felt like sharing. Weird, seems like I repeat myself to family over and over updating everyone, I'm so burnt out on that, then tonight I write.......... Hospice came on board today. Aqute care in the hospital. Not sure if she'll ever make it home or not. Last week we were still in fight mode, today ............. I watched my MIL go from the beautiful recongizable woman to this eldery feeble tiny woman in almost a week. Yes she'd been changing in appearance over the last month but this happened so fast. In 2 months the slower growing NSCLC gained intense speed. Multiple new nodules, tumors tripled in size mets AND bone cancer in the ribs. Its only a short ime now........... BUT cancer didnt take everything from us. This family gained communication skills, physical and verbal expressions of love, tenderness, kindness, faith, and even though she'll be in heaven soon, we all have a bond that has never been tighter. cancer cant take those from us. So in the end ........... we did win. Beat it!!

Well folks, its been a while since I've posted though I read posts frequently. Guess the shock and awe subsided after the first round of chemo and we have enjoyed 3 months with out weekly visits to the onc but rather 6 week intervolds, cancers progressed with sprinkled spots, a new tumor, all in one lung and a thicker plurea but no additional mets.... in recent weeks the pain has increased for her and today I learned that for about the last 2 weeks shes been coughing up small amounts of blood. She hasnt told anyone and only told her daughter today as she was present at the time. Told her not to worry and that she didnt feel the need to tell her onc or anyone eles as it was small amounts "not blood clots or anything" my sister in law informed me right away. We have a Onc appt in 2 weeks and she will begin 2nd line chemo then....... Anyone have some thoughts? Do I approacher her with what I know even though I realize she doesnt want to start doctoring again before the chemo or do I let it be? Beat it!!

I guess I may be the manority on this one but I find it completly natural for people to ask if a person who has lung cancer smoked. Because of the effort to educate on the risks of getting cancer to those who chose to smoke, it seems only logical one would ask if they took the known risk. Smokers choose to take that risk when they smoke others just get LC. I always wonder why it is such a explosive question. If there was a known cause for breast cancer and it was something that a person could choose to do voluterrely, that could possibly contribute to cancer I'm sure people would ask them the simular question. Honestly I think alot of people who smoke did or are contributing to lung cancer, its a proven fact/risk. And yes I smoked for 16 years, have been smoke free for 10 years. On the second question. If we give to others for any reason, with out restrictions for its use, then really it is only ourselves we can be angry at for the donation if we feel it was misused. The person whom recieved the money did nothing wrong in taking it. Just my 2 cents, proably not the manority I realize that. Beat it!!

MIL has intense burning in her stomach, Onc prescribed meds for an Ulcer. In 3 weeks there is a CT scan of the lungs and the first of the lower abdomin. I am wondering if he is looking for an ulcer or more cancer. Burning doesnt show much on line for symptoms of ulcers...........he never checked just gave her the drug on a hunch. Isnt the wondering and waiting the worest inour journey? Any thoughts? Beat it!!

I completly understand and can relate. We have been dealing with Anxiety attacks and now an ulcer with my MIL. It has caused me to dig into more research as to why this is happening on top of the cancer. What we have found has changed those medical issues. The POWER I dont believe is in the cancer. But rather in our very own mind. We simply dont use them to our own benifit much and dont even realize what we are doing. I would offer if you are realy concerned with worry and fear of the situation and it is taking away from the time you have with her, pick up a new DVD on the market, its a documentary on our thinking processes. Its called "The Secrect" by Rhonda Byrne it is currently the number one seller of DVD's in America, also on CD. It IS NOT boring and has COMPLETELY changed my life and way of thinking after repetitive listening to it. I hope you find the peace thru your thoughts to enjoy your time with all your loved ones. I have learned to do this so much better by using these new principles in my life. Interestingly enough my MIL has had a remarkable turn around recently from nothing more than the power of how she was thinking about her situation (she watched this too), people not immediatly in the know have seen a dramatic change in her as well. The POWER isnt in the cancer, rather your MIND. In my opinion. Just wanted to offer to you what we have discovered that is working for us. Beat it!!

Hi, I'm sorry your in this situation. But I'm glad your posting here. It is a great family of compassion and insights. Not all agree all the time but it sure does make a difference in my opinion. As far as Hospice goes, we are not currently there....yet. My MIL has Stage 4 NSCLC and we are progressing. With everything, cancer growth, med increases, pain, fatigue, loss of appitite....... I'm sorry. But I have researched hospice and I cant tell you what I want to see happen for us. To me Hospice is NOT a death sentence, it doesnt mean defeat or lack of strengh to carry out the role care givers play. To me Hospice is there to HELP, to ease some of the caregivers stress, releave as much pain as possible for all involed. You know it seems it all depends on a families outlook on the meaning of Hospice. If you equate Hospice to death I can see why it would be tough to incorporate them into your situation. If you equate Hospice as help, guidence, support and quicker pain management it would be more exceptable to bring them in. I hope you will find your peace in this vicious rollercoaster that cancer has us all on. Best to you and yours, Beat it.

Thanks for all the advice!!!! Had platelets checked, came back good. Could be the anti-imflamitory shes on now due to the radiation. I'll be honest our Radiologist didnt give us even a slight glimpse of the amount of fatigue shes under or any other side effects, he made it seem like nothing. Pain (due to the cancer growing) still increasing, now at night taking double oral morphine doses to get thru........... Just wondering when this rickety old cancer rollercoaster is going to collapse under her........ Thanks for the support, I appreciate all of you!! Beat it!!

Anyone have this? We are currently under the final days of a 15 day radiation cycle. MIL is Brusing at every turn, not having good days, I think she is beinging to give over to the exceptance of eternity with out all this pain, if not conciously maybe not even realizing it. Not willing to do small things now, ensure for calorie upkeep or Vitamin IV's as she once did............. But what about all this brusing? And an unexplainable feeling of not feling well all over her body? We have radiation in the am I am going with to get her looked at more thoughly...... Any ideas?

Second, Third and Fouth opinions!!!!!!! Remeber the Oncologist works for YOU. If he or she is not willing to help and work with you and you feel this frustrated, I would vote to fire the Onc and move on. After my MIL's dx od stage 4 it became clear, the family wanted to fight more than the oncologist. Best wishes for you, Beat it!!

Well I havent done alot of posting latley, but read daily. MIL is taking radiation (which has almost no side effects, the radio onc told her) trying to reduce a very painful tumor. We have changed pain meds to oral morphine (2 types) shes getting so weak, no appitite, having trouble hearing her on the phone now too. Told me today she feels worse now than when she took the chemo (and that was the strongest dose they give) we've got anxiety attacks to boot. Cant sleep thru the night for the pain......... I just wish I could take this away. Watching her just slowly wither. Cant even unload the full tray of silverware from a dishwasher with out sitting down to rest. Being the families advocate (they always want me there and the knowledge I have gained thru studing this) I have the task now of letting them know we need to prepare ourselves. The famly never was good at communication, (my gift or curse in life) and they simply dont talk. Dont get me wrong they love each other, fight to the end for each other, but ...... Trying to keep a positive and steady keel while realizing it is time to prepare. We may have months......we may hav just one or two???? Maybe less?. Maybe its just a spell..........maybe it will all go away when we wake up from this nightmare. Watching her in pain, nine months now,.......rips my heart. I've prepared for the future, went to Hospice meetings learned their procedures to be ready for it IF we ever needed it...... I wanted to make the transition better for everyone I love so much, yet I dont know I will suceed. Who can take this burden from another? Who can humanly prepare for the pain and morning. I learned about 5 months into this I couldnt fight her cancer, I couldnt impose my strong alternative belifes on an unwilling person, that I didnt have her cancer. Now I have the realzation I cant carry this for the family either. My husband wants to deny it all away. When I softly and gently explain things he listens, but I watch his leg or foot begin to shake, he gets uneasy. ........ Sorry......back to the radiation issue. If Radiation hasnt horrible side effects then the progression we learned of in the last 2 months is taking over, slowly and painfully. Anyone have some thoughts on radiation and extreme fatigue, weakness, voice loss and loss of appitite? Thanks for the space here to ramble, sorry about that........ Beat it...........feeling beat today.

Your post are like a 180 spin!!!! I am just so happy for you that you are in a good place and can concentrate on your mom with out excess stress. I pray this continues for you and you continue to post and keep us updated!! Beat it!!

I JUST had this happen to me too!! There I was gripping at my husband about how I keep giving and giving trying to be the best advoate I can be for his mom and all of our family. Complaining I too need to be recharged, that I cant always give and never get back. ( which I do "get back" but I was being selfish ) Then today I learn of more anxiety attacks and more intense pain for the MIL that had the onc change the pain meds to straight oral morphine. Yeah and do I feel like dirt now. I think we all go thru this at some point. It is good to hear of your emotions as it puts mine into reality.......We're all human and its hard on us all, cancer or cancer free. Thanks for posting, keep posting and prayers for you. Beat it!!

Yep, when I grow up I want to be loved as much as FLOWERGIRLIE!!!! Gotta admit, I see her profile picture in my head at different times too.............sincere (((((HUGS))))) for her! Beat it!!

Anyone know much on this? Can it all be just in the mind? MIL experiencing SOB each night about the same time upon waking. Radiolgist says he sees nothing in chest xray to be causing this, medical Onc not notified yet. MIL has cancerous lymphs on airpassage that radiologist hasnt mentioned........but then this only happens at night........ Anyway I read a previous post here about this just wondering if anyone else has input or new findings? MIL has appointmet in 2 weeks with reg med doc to discuss, which I thought was weird........shouldnt Oncology handle this? Oh the never ending symptoms and concerns......... Thanks for any thoughts, Beat it!!

Anyone hear from her recently? I had a PM out to her but havent heard back.......... Thinking of you Sharon!! Beat it!!

Chemo Brain? Another chemo side effect I would guess? Yeah we've got narcotics for pain too...... Nothing too serious with the memory it is looking like over some time now. I mean she knows everyone and seems lucid. You just never know when "it's all gonna hit the fan" if you know what I mean........ As always I appreciate all the input, this place is so comforting.

Dont we all just wish the cancer roller coaster would get full and not have room for additional riders? So sorry to hear this news. Hang in there, continue to offer support and advice!! Beat it!

Copied from a previous posting of mine. My MIL Stage 4 NSCLC. I turned into an instant advocate. Requested by family to be there. I have researched, studied and flat lived cancer since the dx. After learning so much from self studies I completely changed my own lifestyle. A FIRM believer in health, excersice and knowledge of this desease. I became incrediably frustrated early on with my families denial of the situation and the seemimgly lack of will on my MIL part to make obvious proven lifestyle changes to help her situation. I now know (after repeated slams of my own head into the hardest brick wall) that you cant fight another persons cancer. No matter how much you believe in the correct method to fight and your own stamina to fight it, the cancers not yours. I have had to bite my tounge and reserve comment so often. Each person is different with different strenghs,weaknesses, fears and abilities. I cant fight her cancer for her. I can only offer the sincerest heart felt advice and compasion. I have to respect her desicions and abilities. I think most of the frustration is due to the degree in which we love our person with cancer. Our own selfish desire to have them beat it and live to stay here with us. You as I may have to settle that battle with in yourself. Then you can go forward and help. Each family member will react differently. Our own thinking seems right when others may seem horribly wrong. We must remember everyone will handle this differently and to the best of their ability. Try not to divide the family only for the sake of your own opinion. I was devistating to me when I did. I wish you the best. I unsderstand COMPLETLEY. Beat it!!

Seems to be increasing in frequency. Not anything that has created problems but each immediate family memeber is able to clam more than a couple instances of memory loss. We hate to say confusion as that seems to strong and not the case. Cant find a true connection on-line between vicadin and oxycotin side effects. I thought maybe that was a link. I know mets to the brain are common but we have substansial reduction in tumors (still even 1/2 week ago), Almost 7 weeks out from last chemo treament and just now we are seeing this. Continuing to monitor, will take to onc if it continues. Any ideas? Beat it!!

Welcome!! You have tremndous advice here, you'll always get it on this board. Cheers to NED, he's on the money. Your dad's time with you isnt over because of the diagnosis, never forget that!! As for the second opinion, I personally believe in them, word of caution though. If you do seek the second be sure the Onc's are not affiliated. We took a second from a doc with in the same system. All he did was ask us what the first Onc had said and mimicked it, didnt want to cross his co-worker. Your journey will be like a rollercoaster, with ups and downs. Remember that when you feel down, that doesnt mean your out!!! Beat it!!

Actually that is her discription also, burning pain. I meant that I could see her pain shooting across her face. It's great to hear radiation took care of your pain!! I am wondering since her burning pain is in the same location as the tumor was if they can do radiation for her given they declined radiation in that area the first time? oh, the constant wondering. I sincerly appreciate your response its encouraging!! Beat it!!

Well the intense pain coming from my MIL's lower left lung has the Onc giving two theroies, after others where ruled out. One is that the cancer had spread to the bone, prior to the tumors reduction. Two, that there is a nerve entangled in scar tissue, for which there would not be a cure, only pain management. So neither option is really comforting. He has increased the pain medication and the Bone Scan is in progress as I type. Anyone relate? Experiences with mets to the bone? The pain is really intense, just watching her slide down in a chair you can see the pain,its like lightening shooting from one side to the other of her face. You know they say "Only the good dye young" maybe God says "Only the strong get cancer or caregive" Feeling helpless Beat it!!

A GREAT post!!!! Encouraging news for one concerned family member. Thanks for brightening my day!! PS LOVE THE PICTURE!!! Beat it!!

I came to this board tonight for help, searching for answers, comfort in knowing others are traveling with us in our cancer journey. I leave this post feeling worse. Loved ones are dying from a horrible disease. Each one of us has better things to be doing then bickering like children. Beat it!!

Can chemo alone create scar tissue or does it make more sense that if there had been Plurea Effusion and it had healed that it could be the cause of scar tissue? Anyone experience serious pain while breathing and been told it was from scar tiisue? Our appt with the Onc is Tuesday 24th, ain is quite serious, not enough for ER though. Narcotics not masking pain. Curious, impatient. Beat it!!