beat it

So about 2 weeks ago a CT scan showed 2 tumors missing (one from each lung) just small "residue" remaining. Then about half a week ago a new pain in the lower left lung (which had/has plurea effusion) has moved towrds the front of her lung. Pain is begining to intensify and is a constant 5, then about a 7 with deep breath, all while under narcotics for pain 24-7. The onc isnt planning any further chemo (IV) possible Traceva orally if and when growth is found. He stated what we have had in reduction is what we'll get from the chemo, no point in putting her thru more. AMEN ( I hate chemo ) He offered it was hard to tell in the effusion area if she had scar tissue, fibrosis or cancer in the thinkiening he did find on the CT scan. No fluids. Oncology to her to wait till Tuesday (6 days) to come in if it got worse. Her onc was out of town today. Another Onc looked at her CT scan and records and called her back and just told her the same info her Onc said and what I gave you here ( he just read her records and repeated his colleauges findings basically) Any thoughts? Anyone have something simular happen? I told her if the pain intensifies on a constant plain we go in to ER here in our town. (We are 30 minutes from her Oncologist, with a weekend coming up). Your thoughts are welcomed... AND NEEDED RIGHT NOW!! Thanks, Beat it!!

Communication when ever possble is always the best way to answer any question. I agree with KatieB. I too expected my MIL to have less time with plerua effusion and stage 4. Chemo is hell plain and simmple. Best wishes for you. Beat it!!

I know this is a very broad question, sorry. My MIL had 6 rounds of Carbo/Taxol/Avistan very 21 days (when platlets allowed her to remain on schedule) it has now been 3.5 weeks since the last round. She has seen almost no improvement in her SOB or strengh. Sleeps alot. Winded after walking thru the house............. Am I just being impatient? I know we all have our different opinions in regards to treatment. This chemo seems to have taken her life from her. I know the cancer would too eventually (DX at Stage 4) but the Onc said any further chemo really isnt going to be nessasary. What ever they got from the first run would be the extent of the reduction. We are with out tumors now in both lungs (there had been 1 in each lung, ............well round ones anyway.) Still have residue showing in a CT scan on the right and Pluera involvement on the left.....he wasnt sure if it was all cancer, part fibrosis or scar tissue on the left. I just feel so defeated. Bless her...she's the one fighting all this not me. Beat it!!

Melinda, .........I just hurt for you. Sincere Sympathies, Beat it!!

As if cnacer isnt bad enough, man. I would continue with eviction and all matters to get her out and away. Mostly I think you need to follow your inner voice. You KNOW deep down what to do, sometimes its the pulling the strengh to do it from your toes to accomplish it. Spare nothing to protect him, do what you know is right, have no regrets later. I'll be prayerful for you all. Beat it!!

If you contact hospice or look for a web site you can quickly learn what to expect in a persons final stages of life, from months to hours they can give you an idea. I hope that it isnt that close for you. Beat it!!

Melinda, I just hurt inside. I'm prayerful for divine comfort for your entire family. Beat it.

Again and regretfully I do not have any information for you on this diagnosis. I did want to comment however that I strongly disagree with the doctors telling you how long someone has to live, too many people have been told this and it has be incorrect, causing hurt and distress. I would not speak such negativity into your situation, be optimistic and realistic but not placing timelines on the unknown. My thought and prayers for your family. Beat it.

((((((((((((((((FLOWERGIRLIE)))))))))))))))) LCSC GROUP HUG

Should a canidate for president continue to run for office with a wife whos relaped in her cancer and deemed uncurable? Just wondering the thoughts if caregivers, this is NOT a post about political preferrence, only the importance of the job being requested and the relationship to the cancer patient. Just something I wondered how you all felt about? Beat it!!

Well this post hit home, BIG TIME!! My MIL Stage 4 NSCLC. I turned into an instant advocate. Requested by family to be there. I have researched, studied and flat lived cancer since the dx. After learning so much from self studies I completely changed my own lifestyle. A FIRM believer in health, excersice and knowledge of this desease. I became incrediably frustrated early on with my families denial of the situation and the seemimgly lack of will on my MIL part to make obvious proven lifestyle changes to help her situation. I now know (after repeated slams of my own head into the hardest brick wall) that you cant fight another persons cancer. No matter how much you believe in the correct method to fight and your own stamina to fight it, the cancers not yours. I have had to bite my tounge and reserve comment so often. Each person is different with different strenghs,weaknesses, fears and abilities. I cant fight her cancer for her. I can only offer the sincerest heart felt advice and compasion. I have to respect her desicions and abilities. I think most of the frustration is due to the degree in which we love our person with cancer. Our own selfish desire to have them beat it and live to stay here with us. You as I may have to settle that battle with in yourself. Then you can go forward and help. I wish you the best. I unsderstand COMPLETLEY. Beat it!!

((((((((LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING)))))))) Heavn will be richer for his presence Beat it. My Dad - 2002 Heart Disease

Cancer can not take away the memories. Hold on to them, share them now with him and your fsmily. They can strenghten you and him both. Remember how blessed you are that you shared him, dont focus on anything less Totally understanding your time. My own Dad - Heart Disease 2002 at 56 years young. Beat it.

I'm not in either spot, my MIL has stage 4 nsclc but is living a pretty normal life yet (except for chemo side effects) but I do have two cents to throw in. Maybe your husbands anger and harsh treament is because HE DOES APPRECIATE YOU. Maybe he DOES KNOW EVERYTHING YOU DO FOR HIM. Maybe he cant come to grips with his own feelings (or guilt) over his need for you and his own inability to repay you the correct way. Guilt, hurt, pain, selfishness, hate....... all very powerful feelings. The continuing sting of these will do far more damage than the cancer........and reach to those who are cancer free. Beat it.

I LOVE this board, cant speak or write boo in Spanish but the family here never stops amazing me with the unlimited amo unts of support!!! Beat it!!!

Hello and Welcome to the board!! My MIL also has stage 4 nsclc. We do live close by so I dont have that in common with you, however I do think she doesnt always tell us everything she is feeling to protect us, maybe or not let on the degree of her side effects? Not that I cant find out as I am allowed all her info from the Onc but maybe some of the smaller things like chemo side effects. I recently learned her feet have been tingling for months...that was news to me. I guess what I am saying is that it very well could be them not wanting to tell you (or admit to themselves) how things are going. Communication is the biggest thing a family can have next to honesty. Maybe expressing your need to see them out there, with love and a direct inquiry as to why not if they refuse? The correct manner of communication can get answers without creating fights. I wish the best for you in this tough time. Beat it.

(((((((((((((((FLOWERGIRLIE))))))))))))))) I havent words to express my heart for you right now. I'm so sorry. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE continue to post, it wil help you and give you a place to express what you may otherwise botle up. Never hesitate to PM me, you know I'll always be here for you. Beat it!

Grace, (((((((( LOVE )))))))) You!! Here's a poem that always comforts me when I think of my father. (Heart Disease 2001, 56 years young)Maybe it will comfort you too. I am standing on the seashore. A ship and her Captain appear, the Captain spreads the white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. I stand watching him until they fade away on the horizon, and someone at my side says, "He is gone." Gone where? Gone from my sight, that is all. He is just as large as when I saw him last. The diminished size and loss of sight is in me, not him. And just at that moment when someone at my side says "He is gone." There are others who are watching him coming and voices take up the joyful shout, "HERE COMES CARLTON!!!!" The heaven's rejoice at his presence. May God bless and cmfort you and your family. Beat it!!

Grace, I think when we are battling a decision that conculdes a possible outcome other than what we hope for it creates the ability for us to second guess what we know is the right thing, simply because our very nature wants our outcome. Your doing so wonderful thru this all, continue to move forward for Carlton, never second guess what you do, make each choice from love and you'll have done right. So many prayers for you all. Beat it!

Grace, I thought of you and Carlton alot today, told the girls at work who where complaining of not getting flowers sent on Valentines day...........I'm greatful it wasnt today as you had said would be hard....... I wish I could bottle up the compasion, tears and thoughts for you and sent it your way to somehow increase your strengh..... You are on our minds so much, you are loved. Beat it!!

Grace, I dont know you at all yet have the greatest urge to tell you that you are so LOVED here......... May God grant you all peace. Beat it!!

Grace, Beyond the compasion that wells in us all each time we hear of your story, I for one want you to know that with each post you are also helping others. To learn that others are going thru things that have simularities, that others may struggle with decisions and just the coping of emotions is an on going blessing. I hope you, one day will know that thru all of this you have been a big help to others in your honsety and love. Just as you have to me. Still praying, Beat it!!

I hate cancer. Prayers for you all. Beat it!!

Connie, Your post is so powerful, theriputic and real. Thank you! And I simple LOVE the quit idea!! I will keep that thought for our family too...............I pray I dont have to consider it for decades...... Thanks again!! Beat it!!

Its been a bit since I have posted, I read the site daily and learn so much here, sometimes too much!! I do find comfort in knowing that (though I wish it were different) so many people are riding the rollercoaster also. Sorta makes you feel normal again. Normal, ummmmm yeah whats that like ?? Anyway. My MIL just took her 4th round after being postponed for 2 weeks due to low platelets. They have now reduced the strongest dose given of the Carbo/Taxol/Avistin combo to help her cope as her body is just so weak from chemo. Considerably thinner than ever before. I have also recently learned from her she is again taking more of her pain killers as a new pain in a different location is intensifing. Such a rollercoaster. Diagnosis left us feeling hopeless, research gave us hope in survial/longevity, chemo - well nothing prepared us for chemo, CT with considerable reduction had us unable to contain our joy, chemo side effects and a new growing pain ........... You all know this well, I just needed to write......... Anyone heard of raspy voice and constant clearing of the throat as a side effect of the chemo? MIL is experiecing SOB, and sorta like having a constant frog in her throat. I dont know anymore what is cancer or chemo side effects, she has lymphs on the air passage that are cancerous...... Well folks Thanks for giving me someplace to ramble, I am trying not to become negative, hopeless. Need another ride to the top of the coaster soon. Beat it!!