Liz13

Hi Cindi, Glad to hear you are having a better day. That's a good start. Now I want you to sit down and write out everything you want from your doctor tomorrow. Tell him you want an anti depressent (I take Lexapro and it worked immediately), tell him you want carafate for you throat, tell him you want mircle mouthwash and magic mouth wash for you mouth and throat, tell him you want roxicet for pain. I put 2 teaspoons in a 24 oz water bottle and drink it over 4-5 hours. Get my water and can swallow too. Tell him you want silver sulfadiazine cream for your radiation site. Tell him you are NOT leaving his office untill he make you more comfortable at home. Now make sure you go to the doctor tomorrow and everyday. Missing treatment is not good. And they can't help you if you are not there. You had such a fighting attituide when this started and we're going to find it again. I know that the more you stop doing, the easier it is to do nothing. Depression feeds on its self and it opens you up to other sicknesses and ills. You need to grab your boot straps and pull, baby, pull. Get out in the back yard and walk in circles. Walk around the block, walk around the livingroom. The more enegry you expand, the more you'll get back. Go, go, go!!! I'm personally going to be your little cheerleader through this, Cindi. I'm not going to let you give up. Go to insperation and read my "God's mysterious work". Hugs and prayers to you and your daughter. Love, Liz

Cool machine just showed up at my Cancer Center. Dr. Kishore Dass is my doctor and I just love him and his staff to death. 2 miles from my house so anyone coming this way, send me an email. Go to www.wellingtonregional.com Click on Health News from cancer center on right side. Will take you to article. They've been talking about and said it should be up this week.

I was raised a Catholic, but left the church 22 years ago. Until last month. But I have found out that God has work in many way in my life for the last few years, all for me to get to htis point. Four years ago I moved to Florida and didn't know why. Typical women, I thought it was to meet a man. And boy did I meet men, tons of them, none good for me. But I also made friends outside of wrok for the first time in my travels. My parents were closer (300 miles) then ever before, both my kids settled here. Now that I am sick I am surrounded by family and friends. 4 years ago I would have been 3000 miles away and alone. Getting sick, I struggled the first week with how to get in touch with God. I felt like a hypercrite, walking away from him so long ago and now that I needed him, he should be there?? I recieved a package from my cousin in NJ one day and found inside a rosery, directions on how to use it and some healing oil with a healing prayer. Well, this was before anti depressents so I just bawled, for a hour. Then I called her and told her why and how I had struggled. I tols her it was just what I needed to make my pentance to god so I could ask for healing. You know what she told me? Now Joanie is very, very close to God all her life. SHe said she struglled when she heard I was sick so she prayed to God and this is what he told her to send me. Perfect. Now I had some peace. Then I decieded to go back to church. Every day on the way to work I passed this church. They always had a message on the board, so I figured it was a sign. I stopped by, no one home. I looked them up on the net and got a phone number, no one answered. I left a message, no one called back. Driving down the road one day my mom was reading the names of different churches she found. As she was reading Hope Lutherian, we were driving bu it. "That one?" i asked. Below is the sermon of the first mass I went to. Talk about Gods work. I'm hooked. Just wish I could take this Pastor with me when I move. He is so gifted. Please do read the credit at the bottom. I hope this touches you as it did me. Hugs, Liz Hope Evangelical Lutheran Church 7430 Belvedere Road, West Palm Beach, FL 33411-3312 www.hopelutheranwpb.com Sermon Theme: “Why Does God Pound On Me?” Text: Psalm 91:1-16. Please read the text in your Bible. A doctor once walked up to his patient’s bed and said, “I have some bad news and some worse news.” The patient replied, “OK… so, let’s have it.” The doctor continued, “The bad news is that you only have 24 hours to live.” The patient gasped, “I can’t imagine what could be worse than that!” And the doctor sheepishly replied, “I forgot to tell you yesterday.” That’s funny, isn’t it? Oh, but many of us weep at the thought of death. Do you? Do you dread your death? And is your dread of death robbing your joy of life? It can. It did for a young woman named Florence. At the age of 37 she told her friends that her life hung by a thread that might snap at any moment. So she went to bed. And stayed there. Her death prediction proved true. She did die…53 years later, at the age of ninety! Doctors could find nothing wrong. Most diagnosed her as a hopeless hypochondriac—dreading death, ever obsessed by its imminence. Except for three years, Florence was controlled by her fear of death. But during those three years, she made a name for herself, not as one who suffered, but as a friend of those who did. History’s most famous nurse, Florence Nightingale, lived as a slave of death! What about you? Is your fear of dying robbing your joy of living? Health problems can become a huge stress in our lives. They can remind us that our bodies are only going to last so long. That we aren’t perfect. That we are mere mortals. Health problems can make us think that all is wrong with our life and the world. So can any kind of hardships. Marital stress. Conflicts in relationships. Loss of job. Divorce. Death of loved ones. Fear for your safety. Persecution because of your faith. All of these can take the joy out of living. All of them can bring stress and make us worry. Is no one watching over me? Is no one taking care of me? If you are a person who seems to encounter one challenge after another, life can get pretty hot with hardship. Has health trouble and hardship made life unbearably hot for you? Can’t stand the heat? Then turn to God’s Word. Psalm 91. Did you notice the word that gets repeated again and again? Will. God will. If you are wilting under the heat of hardship, know that this is what God will do for you: He will provide you rest. He will be your refuge. He will save you. He will cover you. He will shield you. His angels will protect you. You will trample the serpent (through Jesus!) The Lord says: I will rescue. I will protect. I will answer. I will be with you. I will deliver you and honor you. I will satisfy you. When God says “will,” do you think he means it? Always has. Always will. We can count on his protection. Some students got rained out when a violent storm disrupted their picnic. As they drove away, the driver slowed to a stop. He gestured to a tender sight on the ground. A mother bird sat exposed to the rain, her wing extended over her baby who had fallen out of the nest. The fierce storm prohibited her from returning to the tree, so she covered her child until the wind passed. From how many winds is God protecting you? The office gossip heading toward your desk is interrupted by a phone call. A burglar headed to your house gets a flat tire. A drunk driver runs out of gas before your car passes his. God protects you. It says, “He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge.” “But does he?” you ask! “Then explain my job layoff. My dysfunctional family. The health problem I have been suffering with. Why someone broke into our house. Or the death of our child.” If God is guarding us, then why do bad things happen to me? Have they? Have bad things really happened to you? You and God may have different definitions for the word bad. Parents and children do. A middle-schooler defines “bad” as “pimple on nose,” “Friday night alone,” or “pop quiz in geometry.” “Dad, this is really bad!” the child says. Dad, who has been around awhile, thinks differently. Pimples pass. Quiet Friday evenings are actually kind of nice. What’s bad to a child isn’t always bad to a dad. What you and I might rate as an absolute disaster, God may rate as a pimple-level problem that will pass. He views your life the way you view a movie after you’ve read the book. When something bad happens, everyone in the theater gasps at the screen. Not you. Why? You’ve read the book. You know how the good guy gets out of the tight spot. God views your life with the same confidence. He’s not only read your story…He wrote it. God’s perspective is different, and his purpose is clear. And the more you read his story, the more you’ll understand the movie of your life. God uses struggles to toughen our spiritual skin. He tells us in Zechariah 13:9-10, “I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call upon my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’” One of God’s best cures for a weak faith is a good, healthy struggle! Have you ever seen a silversmith work? He places an ingot of silver on an anvil and pounds it with a sledgehammer. Once the metal is flat enough for shaping, into the furnace it goes. The worker alternately heats and pounds the metal until it takes the shape of a tool he can use. Did you know that the smith in silversmith comes from the old English word smite? Silversmiths are accomplished smiters. So is God. Once the worker is satisfied with the form of his tool, he begins using smaller hammers and abrasive pads; pounding and rubbing more. And no one stops him. No one yanks the hammer out of his hand and says, “Go easy on that silver! You’ve pounded enough!” No, the craftsman pounds the metal until he is finished. So does God. Heating, pounding. Heating, pounding. Hardship, stress. Sickness, layoff. Heating, pounding. Heating pounding. Conflicts, loneliness. Lives out of balance, loss of loved ones. Heating, pounding. Heating, pounding. Can’t stand the heat? Can’t stand the heat of hardship and health problems? Well actually… this heat is good! God is using these things to refine you, to strengthen you, to make your trust in his love and guidance stronger! He is working on you for your good! I don’t think you want him to stop pounding away! Some silversmiths keep pounding and polishing until they can see their face in the object they are making. So when will God stop with you? When he sees his reflection in you! When God has pounded on you so much that you only trust in him for love, forgiveness, and salvation, he looks into your heart and sees the perfect reflection of his Son, whose life was given in your place. God sees Jesus in you. It might take some pounding to get there, though! And sometimes it isn’t very comfortable. It might even be painful. All the heating and pounding might make it pretty hard! So if you are having difficulty handling the heat, here is something to remember: God is always with you, protecting you, even when health and hardships pound away at you! He isn’t going to let you fall! In the book The Dance of Hope, Bill Frey tells of a blind student named John, whom he tutored at the University of Colorado in 1951. One day Bill asked John how he had become blind. The sightless student described an accident that had happened in his teenage years. The tragedy took not just the boy’s sight but also his hope. He told Bill, “I was bitter and angry with God for letting it happen, and I took my anger out on everyone around me. I felt that since I had no future, I wouldn’t lift a finger on my own behalf. Let others wait on me. I shut my bedroom door and refused to come out except for meals.” This surprised Bill, because John never seemed bitter or angry. So he asked John to explain the change. John credited his father. Weary of the pity party and ready for his son to get on with life, dad reminded the boy of the impending winter and told him to mount the storm windows. “Do the work before I get home or else,” the dad insisted, slamming the door on the way out. John reacted with anger. Muttering and cursing and groping all the way to the garage, he found the windows, stepladder, and tools, and went to work. “They’ll be sorry when I fall off my ladder and break my neck.” But he didn’t fall. Little by little he inched around the house and finished the chore. The assignment achieved dad’s goal. John reluctantly realized he could still work and began to reconstruct his life. Years later he learned something else about that day. When he shared this detail with Bill, his blind eyes misted. “I later discovered that at no time during that day had my father ever been more than four or five feet from my side.” The father had no intention of letting the boy fall. Your Father has no intention of letting you fall, either. You can’t see him, but he is there. He may allow hardships to challenge you—to strengthen you and your faith in him, but he will never leave your side while those hardships are challenging you. So if you can’t stand the heat, remember God is using it to bring you closer to him. And being closer to him is what our life is all about. Amen. Portions and stories from this sermon taken from Max Lucado’s book: Come Thirsty.

Dear Cindi, Welcome. Reading your post broke my heart. You are going through so much. Just know that I am on this ride with you. I went back to see your daughters earlier posts. I didn't see anything about an anti depressent on it. That was my number one thing to do. Instantly stopped crying, feeling sorry for myself and started fighting, hard. I understand your feelings about having to feel sick. I have cancer, everyone thinks I'm sick, so there for I should be. I felt like that, but you know, when you feel like you should be sick, pretty soon you start feeling sick. And we don't want that. I try to be an inspiration to everyone in the waiting room. Big smiles, loud hellos, try to make them smile. I talk to everyone. Makes them feel good and more importantly make me feel good. Eating is a problem too. None of us is every really hungry, but you and I know we have to eat or we will lose wiehgt and get weak. Then the illnesses prey on us. So eat, even if your not hungry. Get medice. My esaufagus hurts like the dickens, couldn't swallow even water without pain, so I got a liquid pain med and sip it all day long. Doesn't mess my head but keeps my thort good. Well, gott to get ready for chemo. I'll check back with you this afternnon after radiation. Hugs, Liz

I haven't been hungry since this ride started, but eat at least 3 times a day because I should. I tell my mom, "Don't wait for me to ask for food, just feed me." Don't want to lose any weight. Having problems swallowing now from the radiation, but just changing what I eat. Lots of cream soups and smoothies. Creamed spinich. Should help my red blood cells, eh? Please be careful of self treatment. Make sure the doctor approves. Hugs and prayers, Liz

Thanks Welthy, Actually I got pretty lucky with the smoking. I had a very bad oral fixation all my life. Bit my nails, smoking, all kinds of stuff in my mouth. I got acrlic nails in 1990 and still chewed the real nail off the backs. I've tried laser, patch, gum and hypnosis. Nothing really work more then 2 weeks. Did you ever wish you could go to bed and just wake up and forget you ever smoked? That happened to me during my surgury. I think God switched the switch for me. I forgot I smoked till a nurse asked a few days later if I wanted a patch. I ask what kind of patch and why? She said I was a smoker. Guess I forgot. Just laughed and said no. Took me about 2 weeks to realise I stoped biting my nails. Don't get me wrong, I still think about it. But before it was a 100 times a day, now maybe 3. And I dream about it, but never light it up. Last dream I flushed it down the toilet unlit. As far as my treatments, I beleive I'm doing better then expected. No real side effects yet except I start having difficulty swallowing food. Always had pressure but now I have pain. But thats it. Still have my hair, not too tired, except I don't sleep well the night of chemo. Skins doing good at radiaiton site, not nauseated. Keeping my fingers crossed. Love my Doctor and all the folks that work there. And I'm surrounded by love. I've become spirtial to the point of making my daughter apologize to God for saying something bad. So far this has been more a blessing then a curse. But I know the worse is yet to come and I'm ready. God has big plans for me, I've left everything in his hands and he's done a fine job up to now. He brought me here, didn't he? Hugs and prayers to all, Liz

I meet a woman tonight that has liver cancer. She was told 5% chance, 3-6 months. She swears by milk thistle. Said her white cells have never been below 4. Been through everything they can threw at her. Waiting for a new chemo in 4 weeks. Still alive after 3 years. One in hospice. They finally threw her out. Talk about will power. This woman is a walking inspiration to us all. Hugs, kisses and prayers, Liz

Hi everyone, Just got back from Radiation. Started having trouble swallowing food this weekend. Some one donated a bunch of these books and they gave me one. It's called "Eating well through cancer" by Holly Clegg & Gerald Miletello, M.D. Easy recipes & recommendations during and after treatment. The table of contents has reciepes for the following conditions. Day of chemo, neutropnia, diarrhea, constipation, sore mouth, snakes and light meals, caregiver, healthy eating post treatment. Each recipe has nutritional info per serving that has calories, protein, carbs, fat, cal from fat, sat. fat, dietary fiber, cholesterol and sodium. Also has Diabetic exchanges. Looks like a great book and has a web site. www.hollyclegg.com Hope this helps someone. I know my mom and daughter are excited to read it. Hugs, kisses and prayers, Liz

That's what I'm talking about, Randy! You know where to find everything we need. I found a bunch of that stuff too , but nothing about lung cancer. Thanks, Grace, for your imput. Sounds like it's an acceptable number. So happy to hear Carlton is in the normal range now. That's something positive to focus on. Just started having difficulty swallowing food this weekend. Doing everything right so far. Creamed soups, smoothies, ice cream. I love this diet. Got a great book at the doctors today. Eating right with cancer. I'll start a new topic with all the info. Hugs and kisses to all my new friends, Liz

I, for one, am so glad you didn't climb into that bottle of Jim Beam, though you'd meet a lot of my friends there. I see your name all over the place here and read all your post's for inspiration and hope. A lot of them in the news part is so cool. I don't know where you find this stuff but I'm so glad you do. Keep the chin up and know that we love you. Liz

What wonderful news to make me smile today. I just knew you were great from your posts and a grandfather to boot. But now it offical. Congradulations to you, Don, your smiling angel and your whole family. Liz

I spoke to the Onco today and my Baseline number is 83. He said normal is 0-5. Anyone know what 83 means in our world? Good, Bad or Ugly? I'm glad I have something to watch though. Hard to wait the 2 month for a new scan. Starting week 3 of radiation today. Liz

Hi Cheryl, I'm new to this too. Im stage iv also. And remeber I'm just learning. I think stage iv means it spread. Mine spread from upper to lower lung and to the chest wall. Your husbands went from lung to hip. Ive seen many here who have had it spread and now they're NED. Its certainly possible. The most improtant thing is a possitive additude. I went on anti depressents right out of the hospital and the helped immediately. No more tears. Ha, sounds like a good shampoo for kids. I'm doing radiation 5 x a week for 7 weeks and chempo once a week during that time. Then on to the 3 week regiment and then surgury if all goes well. If your doctor is not aggressive enough for you, get another one. Keep fighting hard. Give your husband some time to get use to the idea. Took me about 3 weeks before I wanted to know the details of my condition. Just talked to the Doctor this past friday to get all the details. Now Im ready to kick a**. Your husband is now on my prayer list. I pray while theyre zapping me each day. Take care and stay in touch, Liz

Thanks for all the wonderful responses. It looks like I have a few of you in this car with me. Amazing how close we were diagnoised together. Everybody hang on! We're going for a ride. Up to this point I have been staying a little nieve about what I have and what I'm doing. Self preservation, I guess. Needed to get a grip on the situation first without overloading on all the negative things out there. I went on a anti depressent and that helped stop the tears immediatly. Just started looking on the internet recently. I started driving again and that helped give me some sense of independence and I have an appointment with the radioligist tomorrow to discuse in detail my condition. I hope to have my life back under my control (as much as possible) by the end of the day. The one thing I've seen going through this site is there dosen't seem to be any rhyme or reason on why some people repond well and some don't. I think that's the scarest thing. Not knowing if it's going to work for me. I feel very lucky so far. I still feel good. I know that could change at any moment, but so far so good. My Doctor is great. He had me doing the swallow stuff and miricle mouthwash before I even started radiation and radioplex cream the first day. I still have the hoarseness, which got worse since I started and pressure in my throat. I have difficulty sleeping, but that has been happening since diagnoises. Mind just goes at a thousand miles an hour. That's about it for now (fingers crossed). Thanks again for all your support and I'll update you all tomorrow if I learn anything new from the doctor. Prayers for all of you, Liz

Hi everyone. My name is Liz and I just got on this roller coaster last month. I am a 45 year old woman with Non small cell lung cancer. I am (was) a smoker for 30 years. Tried the patch, laser, hynotist, gum. Nothing succeded like lung cancer. Quit the day I was diaginoised. I have a lot of feelings about this. I feel scared, guilty, and lonely. I'm surrounded by people yet very much alone. I hope that this forum will help with this. I also feel lucky and very blessed to have been diaginoised. I didn't want cancer, but if I was going to get it, I want a fighting chance. And I certainly have that. I am young, strong, healthy and ready to do battle.