Liz13

What were we talking about?

Ditto, Ditto, Ditto. Me too. I love to read and I haven't read a book since chemo. People ask for my phone number and I give them my zip code. I forget names I have known for years. And my typing is terrible. I think one letter and hit another. I use to be an oxymoran, a smart blonde. But not anymore. Hugs, Liz

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. It was not my intent. I was shooting from the hip when I wrote. I was just offended by his attitude. There is just so much more we could be doing that would benefit all of mankind. Hugs, Liz "My attitude is that we need to pray for him, and for his family," Bush said.

I saw today on the internet that 412 trillion dollars has been spent on the war so far. Whether this is true or not, I can not say, as I'm not privey to an accounting of the nickles and dimes that are being spent. I've also seen that 3242 American military personel have been killed and thousand more injured. There's also been 65,660 civillians killed. Not to mention all of the Iraq military. But this all pales when compared to over 500,000 people that die from cancer each year. And while I can't back up the claim that we would have a cure for cancer if this money was spent on research, I surely would be one of the many that would applaude the effort of further research. And while I walk in the shadow of death, you watch me from the side lines. And I see that you are also a believer in prayer. What other facts do you need for me to back up my belligerent accusations? Hugs, Liz

In light of the news in the last few day with Elizabeth Kerry and Tony Snow, I sent the following email to the White house today. Subject: Cancer - Not just a myth "His attitude is, one, that he is not going to let this whip him, and he's upbeat. My attitude is that we need to pray for him, and for his family," Bush said. From "Yahoo" President Bush, My attitude is "If we spent half the money that we've wasted, killing people across the globe in the last 4 years, on cancer research, we wouldn't have to depend on prayers to save our lives." Sincerely, Elizabeth L**** Cancer Patient Please join me and attempt to speak to the government, while they are most vulnerable. comments@whitehouse.gov

How exciting! I think this is just what the doctor ordered. You all have a safe and enjoyable trip and we will see ya on the flip side. Hugs, Liz

Dear Gracie, I wasn't able to comfort you when Carlton lost his battle with cancer last month. I was becoming completely over whelmed myself with everything that was going on with you. I did follow your story and you are very brave and strong for what you have gone through and what you continue to go through. I can't imagine not breaking down once in a while. And it will take a while to heal. You've had your heart ripped out of you body. Without antsteshia or bandages. When we lose our lung it takes months for us to heal. Why should you heal faster? Because there's no scar on the outside? Your scars and pain are inside and can only be seen by those you share with. And that's us. I'm going to be praying for peace for you. You have strenght and courage. Just peace. I want you to see that Carlton is all around you. Evrytime you look at your girls, you will see him. Everytime you hear that special song you will feel him, everytime the sun shines on your face, you will feel his touch. Let him warm you up inside. Let everything go to God and let him worry about the details and you just soak up Carltons presence, as it is all around you. Hugs and more hugs, Liz

Dear Heather, Words can not express the pain I feel for you and your boys at this time. I am sorry that Gerald has lost his fight with this angry, angry beast. But he made us proud. So, so proud. He was so strong and courages. I hope he found peace at the end.I walked the steps with him since last September and have been asking God to show us all our roads to follow. He was so lucky to have you with him on this journy. While I have my parents and my children near, I wish I had a soulmate/bestfriend to go through this with. Your love for him could be felt all through cyber space. Every time you spoke of him. I know that he could feel it every time you walked in the room. I will continue to pray to God for strenght, peace and courage for you and your sons while you continue to travel this most difficult road. And I hope that there is sunshine, flowers, rainbows and birds singing when you come out the other side. Hugs, and more hug, Liz

This is what I'm hopeing for. http://tinyurl.com/yxewot

I have been seeing a lot of post recently about people worring at scan time. I know I do. Terribly. I was trying to put it into words yesterday. It's like when I had my first child. I swore I would "never" do that again. Then time goes by and I forget the pain. And then I got pregnate again. And everything was fine. Till the first labor pain starts. Then it all came flooding back. The scans are a lot the same. Everything goes along and then all of the sudden it scan time. And it all comes flooding back. The pain, the treatment, the sickness, the worry, the fear. And just like that baby, there is really nothing we can do about it til it's over. I would actually be more concerned if I didn't worry at scan time. Then I might not be taking this as seriously as I should. What we need to do is control it. And some of the folks here have some great suggestions. I personally just get freaked out and depressed. Perhaps others could share their tips with us. Hugs, Liz

Tell Bill I'm thinking of him while he waits for information. Hugs, Liz

I am sorry for the pain that you are going through as the 1st anniversary is approaching. I am praying for strength for you and also peace. I know when people ask me how I'm doing, I say "Great", "OK", "Fine" and "Peachy". Never anything bad. It's just a standard reply and come's naturally. I think that's probably what these folks are doing. They don't know what else to say. Please try not to let it get to you. The folks here know and understand your pain. Try to let the rest go. It is so much easier that way. Don't let their careless remark's affect you. As for your step dad, I'm next in line!! Hugs, Liz

Great news. I am so happy for you and your family. Hugs, Liz

Wow Jessie, That's a tough one. First let me tell you how sorry I am that you have to go through any of this. I hope you don't ignore your own pain while you are preparing your children. I don't have any experience in this, just shooting from the hip here. I would try to be as honest as possible, without being too specific. Right now they're not going to undestand a lot, but eventially they will. Being truthful will help in the long run. Not knowing what your background is, it's hard to say. Perhaps they know about God and heaven. I would prepare them that she will be getting sicker. And try to help them make the time left special to both your mom and them. I will be praying for courage and strength for you during this time. Hugs, Liz

If I had it to do all over again, (and no, I'm not voleentering) I would have continued exercising until I couldn't. I didn't when I started and soon got to the point where I couldn't. Near the end of my treatment I was sleeping 10-12 hours a day and taking 1-2 naps a day. I was so exhasted all the time. After treatment I started regaining my strength back little by little. Stand by your mom, encourage her when the time is right. I'm hoping she will start feeling batter soon. Hugs, Liz

Hi Heather_T, Just my 2 cents. Throw out everything you've been told and trust your body. You have been to hell and back. I know that because I've been there myself. You've had more treatment than me. I don't think my body could have handled more. Trust yourself. Your not anywhere near a wimp. Most people couldn't handle what you have been through. Do what you need to do. And have faith. Your coming out the otherside now. Hugs, Liz

Dear Kasey and Becky, Thank you so much for your kind and patient replies. I was feeling sorry for myself Friday night. I think waiting on this CT result is wearing on me. But I recieved a large attitude adjustment this weekend. A special thanks to Eileen and Barb for that. I do know that Gracie, Heather and Flowergirlie would not want me to feel guilty over what is happening in their lives. And I know there is a lot I can offer to everyone on this board and in my life. I am living proof there is life after chemo. This illness has truly been a blessing of sorts for me, mentally. I have learned so much about myself and about the world. I have a lot of experiences to share, love to spread and hugs to give. So get in line. I'm joining the real world again. Becky, I've got my big girl panties back on, though I may need a reminder now and then. And Randy, thank you for the warm blanket. I know you sent it anyway. Hugs, Liz

I have enjoyed this site tremendously ,the little bit of time I post here. When I first found it I thought it was great and that I'd be able to help people here. Turned out I read a whole bunch more then I post. And I get more depressed every day. And I can't stay away, because its like a crystal ball and I'm seeing my future. And then we take out the dice and roll them. I watch Fred die, then Carlton die, now Gearald is dieing, and flowergirls husband. They are all younger then me and we were all diagnoiused at the same time. I feel up in the air. Can't really encourage someone new, cause I'm just a baby myself. Don't want to scare them off by telling the truth.I want you to know that even if I don't post on your greiving post, I am reading, crying, and praying you. I just cant embrace it yet. It's to soon. I'd like to turn this topic into the lc surviver topic. I need a place to go, but I really don't want to hurt any survivers caregivers that are here. It's hard to talk about my true feelings while you are going through so much pain.And it may get mean, no snow balls and warm blankets. Not all sweet And it could get ugly. Hugs, Liz PS : Feelings are the same this morning, just better typing when I don't have Ambien in my system. Sorry to the ones who stumbled through this this morning.

I believe it is. That's how I could tell if my kids had an infection as litle ones. Green and yellow. Real pretty.

That's great news, Tammy. Go Dad!!

Dr. West addressed this before. I don't remember if it was here or on ocntalk.com. In general, I don't believe he thought it was a real risk compared to the risk of low cell count. But I could be wrong. Still suffering from chemo brain. Try a search.

I have 7, but does it count if I only know what 2 of them are for?

Thank you, thank you, thank you. Liz

Hi Barb, I started to feel the side effects about 10 treatments in. Get carafate for soothing the esauaguse and miricle mouthwash to numb everything. I think it was raidisplex I got for the skin. If your insurance isn't great you can get aquaphour over the counter. Enjoy the food that you like now, because you'll be eating creamed soups soon for a long time. I didn't start eating good again till about 3-4 weeks after treatemnt. Keep your chin up. It will get better. Hugs, Liz

I started getting a 1/2 hr massage 2 x a week about 5 weeks ago at my chiropractors office. My insurance pays for it. Imagine that. It's called thearapy when it's in a Docters office. Since then I have felt my scar healing, my numbness leaving and my muscles come alive from my surgery. Going to 1x a week now. And you all are so right, we certainly deserve it. Check your insurance. I've been going to a chiro for years and they never told me. This is a new guy and I was just goofing around and asked if insurance would cover it. They checked and they do. Whooooo!!!