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gail p-m

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Posts posted by gail p-m

    God does give us more we can handle

    in CAREGIVER RESOURCE CENTER

    Posted

    Oh Lori

    You certainly have a big pile on your plate. I'm just dealing with my dad and hospice (well, also a dog I love very much who is on palliative care). Nevertheless, I have dealt with fairly sick children and I can say that dealing with sick children is certainly the worst of all. They are not supposed to be sick!!! I have no brilliant answers esp. today since I just finished a crying session of my own. But yell, kick, scream and I know you will get back up and do what needs to be done -- hard as HE_ _ that it is. Life does suck right now but it will get better. You gotta believe.

    (((Lori))

    gail p-m

    confusion as person gets sicker? typical?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    My Dad who is 82 and is entering hospice is growing more confused by the day. First it was over major things -- such as doing tax returns (he was an accountant); tonight, he had temporarily forgotten how to work the remote for the TV. There are a zillion things in between these. He does not have brain mets. Is this confusion typical for someone with advanced disease? Why does it happen? At times, he is also having trouble using the correct words to express things and he has been expressing himself in odd ways.

    Your thoughts?

    gail p-m

    Hospice -- what to ask?

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    Tomorrow night a nurse from hospice is coming to the house. Based on your experiences, please tell me what questions to ask? This is so new to me.

    Thanks.

    gail p-m

    PS I did read the posts on the Path Less Travelled about Hospice but could still use more advice.

    Update on how to tell about hospice

    in GENERAL

    Posted

    My father has been deteriorating rapidly during the past 3 months. The oncologist spoke to my sister tonight and said there are new spots on the lungs. My father is simply too weak and tired to withstand any further treatment. We were supposed to be going to the onc. on Wednesday but the onc. said we don't need to have the appt. Going anywhere is difficult for my father and it's not going to change anything - except that the doctor would be the one to tell him that he wants to call hospice in. So my sister and I need to tell my father about hospice and we don't know how. By the way, my father is beginning to have major issues with confusion too.

    If you've had to tell a loved one this difficult news, how have you gone about it? I don't want to take hope away, although I do feel like it's gone tonight.

    gail p-m

    UPDATE: My sister and I called oncologists office for advice on this (we figured we'd ask hospice for suggestions) and receptionist suggested that oncologist be the one to tell my Dad. We talked to oncologist and he was going to use the word "hospice" but also say that he has seen people withdrew from hospice programs because they began to do better.... We couldn't hide the word hospice from my Dad. He's always been a straightforward individual with whom you could never "sugar coat" anything. That's his nature. So the oncologist did phone after making sure I was home. My father, true to his nature, was very quiet about things and when I probed admitted it was not unexpected though until then "you can always hope against hope".

    This morning hospice called to make an appt for tomorrow night and he did say something about them lining up for the bodies. My heart is broken and tears keep coming and going Yes, my Dad is 82 but it's never long enough. He's so weak and tired now. I just see the life ebbing from him each day.

    Thank you for all your helpful replies and pms on this subject.

    gail p-m

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