vespa68

Hello There, I am so sorry you are going through this. I have been where you are and it sucks! It hurts so much to see someone who has so much life to live in pain. Everything that you are describing is what my mom went through as well. My mom was severely constipated from the meds and was hospitalized for 3 days because of it. My mom wanted to give up. Your mom has more fight in her. God bless her for that. I am sending you and your mom huge hugs.

Hello Bobby, I am happy to see that you are well. I remember reading all of your posts about your sister and thinking that I would love to have a sister like you. I don't post anymore, but I still read the boards. My mom will have been gone 2 years on Nov. 9th. I wish you all the best my friend. Big hugs!

I am so sorry for your loss. We no sooner wrap our brain around the "C" word and then all of a sudden the person we love more than life itself is gone. That was way too quick, but at the same time it was better for her not to go to day 45 or 46 or 47. She is at peace and in a place where cancer does not exist. My mom was told that she had stage 4 lung cancer the end of June 2007 and died Nov. 9th 2007.Way too quick, but she is not suffering and that is what helps me get up in the morning and start each day. You were her baby and you carry her memory and because of that she still lives on. Big hugs to you and your family.

Hello Everybody, I haven't around much lately. I too just wanted the holidays to pass as quickly as possible. My mom loved Christmas and the shopping and making cookies and that great stuff that brings families together. This was my 1st Christmas without her and there is such a hole in my heart. Mom passed away November 9th and when I went to the cemetery Christmas Eve morning her marker had just been added that morning. That was such a great Christmas gift. She nows tells the world Here I Am! I hated not seeing her name on the crypt, but at the same time I could pretend that she wasn't really in there. Overall I am very happy that her name and dates are there. I thought a lot about those who lost their love ones this past year to this ^%@$*^#@ disease and I pray for happiness for all of you. Lung Cancer may have taken them way too soon but it will NEVER destroy their spirit. They will live on in us and we keep them alive through stories about the happier time. Big hugs!

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is a horrible situation to be in. I fought Hospice tooth and nail. I resented every time it was brought up by Doctors or anyone else for that matter. It was because of what was said on this board that made me change my mind and I am a very stubborn person so that was some feat. Hospice was the best thing I could have done for my mom as well as myself and my husband who were taking care of her. Hospice is there for the family in huge ways. Please give them a try and if it is not for you, then so be it. When they came to our home, they told us what they do and wanted to know if we would be interested,if not, they would leave. I don't know what I would have done without them.

Hello Evryone, First let me start off by saying what an amazing group of people you are and I am honored to have joined this group. It saddens me to inform you that my mom last her battle with lung cancer this morning between 3:30 am and 4:00 am. Her children came and saw her last night and my hubsand and myself were sleeping next to her hospital bed when she took her last breath. She is in a much better place now where she is not struggling to survive. She started Hospice last week and it was only because of what was said on this board that made me change my mind. Thank you all for your love and support, but I am going to need you all now more than ever.

Hello, I am so sorry that this is happening to him. My mom had the same things happen to her. My mom has a very low tolerance for drugs. When she was in the hospital they gave her way too much morphine. She was seeing hangers on the walls, arguing with her room mate because she was postive that she was me and a lot of other strange things. I don't think it's grandpa, it may be the meds. Big hugs!

Don, I have enjoyed reading your responses to others on the board as well as those for me. You have a lot on your plate as it is and you still take time out to come to the board to help others in need. What a blessing you are sir! I also love your picture. Here's to 4 more years + 4 more years + four more years + 4 more years.....+

Hello Susan, You are my hero! I keep following your posts and I admire you so much. Our moms are the same age. They grew up in the Depression and are made of tough stock. I pray that you have so many more magical moments together.

I just read an article that Porter Wagoner is in serious condition and has lung cancer. I am so sad right now. I remember watching him and Dolly Parton on his show many years ago. I will be praying for him and his family. He is 80 years old, but that still seems very young in todays world. He is such a great entertainer. He is in my thoughts.

Bobby,have been following your story and I am so sad that she has passed. She is now in such a better place without pain and where cancer does not exsist. You are such an amazing woman with a large and giving heart. I wish I had a sister like you. I read her orbit and it made me cry. She was adored by so many and what an amazing example she is to a life worth living. Her loving nature touched many and that kindness will be passed on from person to person. I hope you find comfort in all of the memories you have shared. If I can do anything please ask. Big hugs!

Hello All, Earlier this month my mom spent 10 days in the hospital for a collasped lung. They thought she may have also had pnemonia, but it turns out that she didn't. A stint was put in to hold the right lung open. The left lung is closed. They could not put a stint in that lung. After only 2 days the doctors were remarking that it did not do what they had hoped. I pointed out that it had only been 2 days and that I noticed a huge change in her breathing. They continued to pump her full of morphine which made her see thing on the walls that were not there. Another dr. was called in and she said that my mom was being given twice as much morphine as the day before. It was while she was in this drug induced state that she stated saying that she wanted to die and even called for a Priest. Her Dr.s insisted on Hospice even though I told them that what they were seeing was just her reaction to the drugs. They weren't hearing any of it. They contacted her Onc. and told him that she was to stop Chemo and start Hospice. We had an appointment for radiation and that was cancelled because it was in there computer that she is doing Hospice. I am so angry at this hospital! I have made an appoinment for my mom to be seen Friday and another local Cancer Center. Right now she spends a lot of time in bed. She can barly walk because of the Taxol that she was on. She still can't feel the ground. She has lost control of her bodily functions, but sometimes can feel like she has to go and makes it to the bathroom in time. She says she isn't hungry in one breath and then asks for an apple turnover or toast and peanut butter. She is still so weak and frail. That is the main reason why chemo was stopped. Her dr. thoght it was doing more harm than good. There had been a lot of tumor shrinkage after round 1 and round 2, but it statred growing again after round 3 and round 4. She was suspose to have had round 5 last week. Radiation was suggested for symtem relif, but not a for a cure. Right now I don't know where to put my brain. On one hand I still believe that she can beat it, but then again.... Thank you for listening to me. I really appreciate it.

Hello, I too have those same feelings. I look back all of the time and wish to God that I had taken her to the doctor. The only time my mom wanted to see a doctor was when she was having children. My mom is 77 years old and smoked for 69 years. She does not have any faith in doctors, never did and never will. She is the most stubborn and willfull person I have ever met. I know this, but at the samtime I wish so bad I had taken her in to be seen because if it had been caught earlier maybe her chance of survial would be greater. As it stands now she is stage 4 and has been told she won't be here in 6 months. I am learning that it is what it is and looking back at what ifs will just drive a person insane. I too get mad at my mom because life before was so good and I'm sure life was going right along for you as well and then Bang. I'm angry that my mom did not think enough of herself to go to a doctor on a regular basis. I have had to realize though that I am her daughter and not her mother. Be kind to yourself. You have such a kind and gentle soul. Prayers for both you and your beautiful mother.

Hello Donna, I have been following your story and I want you to know that I am crying right along with you on the loss of your mom. She is in a better place, but it still does not take away the void and loss that they leave behind. I am so sorry for your loss. Moms are so special because they have been with you since day one and know you better than you know yourself. My mom's health has steadily declined and I am will soon be where you are now and it scares the c--- out of me. If I can help, please let me know. Big hugs!

Wow, I think you and I have the same brother. In families I have learned to realize it's ok to agree to disagree. The way he responded however is totally inapropriate. He loves mom and is scared of losing her as well. People tend to use situations like these to lash out to make themselves feel better. I am sending big hugs to you from California. Take care of yourself.

Hello Peachy, My mom was on Carbo/Taxol and the Taxol made her fingers and feet very numb. The numbness has not gone away.It is susposed to once chemo has ended. Everyone is differnt though. Vitamin B is suspose to help, but it didn't in my mom's case.

Happy Birthday Teresa! I turned 39 this past summer and all I could think about was the fact that my mom will probably not be with me on my 40th birthday. I have to say that thinking that way robbed me of postive things that should have been taking place. My mom smoked for 69 years and quit a year before she was told that she has stage 4 non small lung cancer. This whole thing is such a nightmare! I think about getting lung cancer all the time. The truth is, we are all going to die of something at some point. If I do get it I hope I will have the strengh to deal with it like I have seen from those who post on this board. These people and the people who care for them are such heroes and heroines. I come here just to read and reread the posts on an on going basis. It's ok to fall apart. If you would like to PM me, feel free to do so. Take care sweetness.

Big hugs going out to you and your dad. He sounds like a wonderful man. I love the way you desribe him. You are so not alone in this nighmare. Many are at your side to hold you up when you can't do it alone. I know how you feel when one of the most inportant people in your life is suffering. Most days I feel like like I can't catch my breath and other times I feel like I am drowning. Your father is a gentle soul and the cancer can't take that away. My thoughts are going out to you.

Big hugs going out to you and your mom. This whole cancer stuff sucks big time. Have faith that she will pull throgh. You and your mom have a lot of people on your side.

I was at the hospital late last night. My husband and I were there until they kicked us out. There is another Doctor my mom has been seeing. He is very young and pretty optimistic. Today she is having a stint put in because her tumors are growing rapidly and and are on top of her lungs making it difficult to breath. Monday they are "more than likely" going to try radiation. It was so heartbreaking seeing her so miserable. She had been much better the day before. Yesterday all she could say is that she wanted to die and it is her time to go and I need to let go. I am selfish I must admit. I want to spend as much time with her as possible. She is the only family I have left. She has other children who are a lot older than me, but they all have their own lives and can't be botherd. She is so weak and so fragile looking. I would like to think that I am taking good care of her, but I'm not so sure. I don't understand why she is still wearing Depends. She does know when it is time to go to the bathroom and does make it, but when she is sleeping she doesn't know she has gone. Her Doctors do not know why this came on o suddenly. The fact that it is not consistant gives them reason not to be alarmed. Her Doc asked me if this happend all of the time and I said no that she does feel like she has to go and gets there before an accident. She is at UC Davis which is a teaching hospital. She has teams of Doctors that come in and stare at her and ask a bunch of questions. Some are very professioanl, but others have said what I have posted at the top. You are dying and you are dying quickly. The mind is very powerful and it has control of the body. I had her believing that she was going to beat this then these people come in and undue my work. She has met people who have survived stage 4. She can't go to the support group because it is at that time where she can't be around crowds, so they come to her while she is getting chemo. All of the issues that she has are very alarming. From her lung collasping about once a week to pnemonia, losing control of bodily functions and weight loss. She is now 128 pounds, but they say that is from the fluids and not from food. If the stint and radiation does not work I will have no choice but to take her to another hospital. From all of the help on this board the main thing I have learned is get 2nd opinions or 3rds or maybe 4ths and 5ths. Something has to work. I thank you all for taking time out to respond. It makes me feel like I am so not alone in the nightmare. Big hugs and prayers going out to each of you kind people.

Mom was in the hopital two weeks ago with a collasped lung and pneumonia. She was addmitted this past sunday for the same thing. She was eating better and started to look better. She is very weak and has a very hard time walking due to the neuropothy. She has a PT. that came in and walked her for a bit with a walker, but that really tired her out. while in the hopital Doctors are telling her: 1 She is terminal 2) She is dying quickly 3) Her Cancer is too far progressed for an operation 4) Her Cancer is not curable 5) She needs to think about Hospice 6) There is no hope 7) All they can do and try and help with the symptoms She is going for a broncoscopy (sp)today. They did one last time and said she had about 70% of her lung capasity. Now they think the tumors are growing. Before that said that they were shrinking. She is no longer on Taxol. Now they have her on Carbo/Taxotere. She goes back in two weeks for her 5th round of Chemo. She has gained 10 pounds, but her Doctor said it is because of all of the fluid from the IV. Her postsaism is always low eventhough she takes pills. She drinks water, but when she is in the hopital they say she is dehydrated. She also drinks a good amout of orange soda. I don't know what to think anymore. I'm not sure if I am caring for her properly. It is just me and my husband. I am with her around the clock. I can't belive that someone who just three months ago was so healthy is now so sick. I can't do anything for a collasped lung except bring her to the E.R. Now they think the tumores are growing! Ugh! I hate this! I have met people who have survived stage 4 lung cancer.They are in my support group. I have seen them. They are real, and yet my mothers Doctors refuse to belive that they do exsist. They think my mom is too far gone to be saved. One Doctor told me only to talk to those who are familar with my mom's case because other people are giving me "false hope." I don't know what to think. That is why I come here to ask the real experts. The ones who deal with this on a personal level and have first hand knowledge of what I am going though. Ok. my fingers are tired now from typing. Thank you for your time.

Hello all, Mom tried vitamin B, but the dose was too low. Her onc. did not want her to take a higher dose. She tried Neurontin but had a horrible reaction to it. She also tried ensure but hated the taste. She is a very stubborn woman! The constipation is now gone, She had round 5 of Chemo a week ago. She doesn't have nausea from it which is great. I'm trying to do things that are in her best intest, but she fights me tooth and nail.

I am so sorry to hear that. You are such a special daughter and you will carry him with you forever. Those who have passed on are only a breath away. Big hugs to you and your family.

Your post made me cry sweetness. I never knew my dad. You are sooooo blessed to have such a wonderful man around. It makes it hard for the fellas that come around though because they will never measure up to daddy and in daddy's eyes no one will be good enough for their baby girls. I am sending you lots of love to you and your family. Big hugs and prayers.

Hello All, It hs been awhile since I have posted about our situation. I think it has to do with the fact that I don't want to revisit this past month. The first week of Sept. my mom was addmitted to an area hospital. She has been going to UC Davis Med Center but the night she needed to go their ER was closed to more serious conditions, ie gunshot victims. She spends a week in the hospital for severe constipation brought on from her medication. She gets plenty of fluids and shots for pneumonia. When she is released she is in Depends. She says it is just temporay because of all of the fluids and stool softerens taht they have gived her. We stop on the way home and buy two bags of Depends thinking it is only tempoary. One week later she is back at the hospital (UC Davis) because her right lower lung collasped and she has pneumonia. She is still wearing the Depends. Instead of getting my mom up and helping her to the bathroom, which she is right next to, they just have her go on herself and they clean her up later. She is in the hopital for two days. She comes home and she is still going on herself. At this point she has an in - home nurse who is wondering why this is happening. All of the fluids should be gone at this point. Her nurse calls her doctor who then in turn calls me. We talk for about a half an hour about teh possibilites. Today my mom has her 4th round of Chemo. She was on Carbo/ Taxol for her first 3 rounds and the tumors have shrunk. The Taxol has really kicked her butt. She has constant numbness in her hands and feet. She can't feel the ground and has difficulty walking. She just sits in a recliner and does not go out except when she has to go to the Dr's. She does not want to eat. She is taking Megace though, Thanks Ned for your recommendation. She went from 147 lbs to 100lbs. She was overweight considering she is only 5'2, but such a rapid weaight loss can't be good. she has been saying more and more that she just wants to die. She feels weak and wombly and no longer has the quality of life taht she enjoyed just 2 short months ago. While in the hospital at UC. Davis she had several doctors tell her to give up, that the Cancer is winning and maybe Hospice would be better. We know better anh her onc knows better. For once her onc is encouraged because her has seen progress. In the beginning he was was like "I can't promise anything. Maybe you will see Christams 2007 and maybe you won't. We will have to see." If it were not for teh Cancer, my mom would be in great shape. I know that sounds funny, but it is true. Her breathing is fine, no heart problems, no dieabetes, no high blood preasure,no hearing loss or loss of eysight. One Dr. commented on how healthy her brain is for being 77 years old. My beautiful mother was in picture perfect health, but 69 yers of smoking has brought her to thsi point. My heart breaks and I die a little inside each day. She has a physical therepist who will be out tomorow to see her. I am in teh process of trying to find a nutritionist to come out to the the house. I don't know what else I can do for her. I want her to keep fighting. Thank you for listening to me. Hugs to all.